Why Did She Stand Me Up?

I was interested in this girl from work for awhile. I don't get much of a chance to talk to her at work and thought it'd be weird to ask her to hang out alone so I asked her to hang out with a few of us from work. I thought if I could hang out with her outside work she'd see that I'm not a boring loser and then maybe she'd be willing to go out with me but every time I invited her out with us she'd have an excuse so I gave up. Then last Thursday I stopped by to buy stuff. She cashed me out and we talked for a bit. She said she's been closing a lot lately, asked me what time I work Sunday, said, "I work 12-6, maybe after..." which was weird since no one had said anything about hanging out until then so it seemed like she wanted to hang out after work. Before I left on Sunday I asked if she wanted to go out later. She said, "I get out at 6 but if you guys go or if you go then I'll go. I can make it by 7". Around 5 I texted her, "Alehouse at 7?" No answer but I went anyway bc she said she'd go. Of course she didn't show up or even respond to my text.

1) Did I misinterpret something? Seemed pretty clear to me.
2) Why did she mention hanging out and say she'd go and then not show up? And not even respond to my text?
3) What do I say to her the next time I see her? How should I act around her from now on? I'm pissed and want to say something but don't want to look weak.


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What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds to me like she thought you were going out in a group of people from your work. If that's the case then her not going doesn't mean she was blowing you off, it means she didn't want to go out that night. She probably has no idea that you like her.

    If you want to ask her on a date, ask her. If she likes you and she knows it's a date, then she would be more excited about that than about seeing you in a group of people.

    Just ask her, say something like "The work night out was fun, thought you were going to come?" and see what she says.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you do let your emotions lead you , you can kiss it good bye. Sure it would piss almost anyone of us off to be told I'll be there and boom not show up. The no reply would clinch the anger for sure.
    Just let it roll off your back dude it could be that she was just so nervous that she couldn't talk herself into going , maybe is has introvert issues that your not aware of. The next time you see her act as if nothing has changed and maybe mention what an awesome time you all had and sorry she didn't make it , and that you think she would have enjoyed herself. Maybe extend another invite but even if she accepts don't get your hopes up until she gets there.

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    • She definitely wasn't nervous. She asked a guy friend from work out for drinks and has hung out with him a few times. He has a girlfriend who he seems to have a good relationship with. I told him flat out I was into this girl and if there was something going on between them I'd rather he tell me the truth and he was adamant he wasn't into her. He was really convincing and I see no reason for him to lie to me.

      Point is, nervousness had nothing to do with it.

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    • It doesn't. But thanks anyway. I appreciate you taking the time to read and reply.

    • Sorry I couldn't help you figure this one out

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