My boyfriend and I've known each other since we were in kindergarden.
My mother and his mother had a fall-out since we were both 10 at the time. We would secretly hang out but in the following month his mother moved with him elsewhere. In my face, she told him "what have I told about playing with that brat". Then she turned to me and said "stay away from my son, he's moving away from both you and your mother".
9 years later (we're now both 20) and he just moved to my state. He reconnected in fb and have been dating for 4 months. The only problem is his mother didn't take it good and still hates me.
Meanwhile my mother is ok with him. She admits causing the fall-out but his mother never wants to reconcile with her.
3mo Even if my mother wronged her, did I deserved that bashing? I was just a kid then.
She thinks I'm the worst woman for me, that I'll scam, how I'm just like my mother, etc. She hated me since I was 10.
You can always show her respect, be kind, and helpful no matter how hateful or rude she is towards you. With all due respect, if she's holding a grudge from over a DECADE ago, then she needs to soften her heart. It's sad when people grow old and their hearts are that hardened. I don't know what it was that happened but my goodness! You kind of have to accept that whatever happened between them is not your business so save yourself the burden and emotional energy of responding to it like it is. Let them hash it out and deal with their own issues.
Always be very kind, sweet, and respectful towards her. Make it hard for her to hate you.