My bf's mother hates me because she hates my mother, what to do?

My boyfriend and I've known each other since we were in kindergarden.

My mother and his mother had a fall-out since we were both 10 at the time. We would secretly hang out but in the following month his mother moved with him elsewhere. In my face, she told him "what have I told about playing with that brat". Then she turned to me and said "stay away from my son, he's moving away from both you and your mother".

9 years later (we're now both 20) and he just moved to my state. He reconnected in fb and have been dating for 4 months. The only problem is his mother didn't take it good and still hates me.

Meanwhile my mother is ok with him. She admits causing the fall-out but his mother never wants to reconcile with her.

Updates:
Even if my mother wronged her, did I deserved that bashing? I was just a kid then.

She thinks I'm the worst woman for me, that I'll scam, how I'm just like my mother, etc. She hated me since I was 10.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell them that if they do not reconcile, that you won't be able to notify either of them when you go to the hospital to deliver their first grandchild.

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    • Good point. Yeah, that should do it if that day were to come.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • The better question is: What CAN you do?

    You can always show her respect, be kind, and helpful no matter how hateful or rude she is towards you. With all due respect, if she's holding a grudge from over a DECADE ago, then she needs to soften her heart. It's sad when people grow old and their hearts are that hardened. I don't know what it was that happened but my goodness! You kind of have to accept that whatever happened between them is not your business so save yourself the burden and emotional energy of responding to it like it is. Let them hash it out and deal with their own issues.

    Always be very kind, sweet, and respectful towards her. Make it hard for her to hate you.

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    • It's really sad that she hates for something I didn't do at all. Plus I was just 10. Just because my mother wronged her doesn't mean I'm the same as her.

    • It's totally illogical and irrational. I'm sure you love your mother, but I suspect she must have been severely betrayed to hold such a grudge for so long. :/

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