Sorry if my writing is not perfect I am a little panicked.
There is a girl I have been dating for 4 years on and off, she is 7 years older and it has never been a serious relationship (I have made it clear with her, she is also is my first relationship).
Because she had feeling for me, I didn't wanted to take advantage of her and we where about to break up, however she just told me that she's pregnant for 7 weeks (she's didn't tell me before).
On one hand she wants to keep the baby because she don't think she will have a chance to be pregnant with someone else she's in love (she's 34), and she's very emotional about loosing her baby (abortion). On the other hand she thinks it would be to hard to manage a kid alone if I leave her. She don't want to tell me if she's going to keep it or not, she told me that if she keep it I am welcome with her.
However I am not in love with her and whatever decisions I take I don't think I could forgive myself. I want her to be happy, but I don't think I could be happy staying with her, I also don't think I could be happy abandonning my kid or having my kid separated with two parents.
I still live with my parents but they don't even know I was still dating her :(
I am very confused about how I should manage with this situation, and if I could forgive myself for my actions
Most Helpful Girl
When you make choices like this, at this point your happiness is thrown out the door. You two just helped conceive a child. And out of wedlock. You knew what the consequences were when you two decided to have sex. There is no excuse for this. You made this choice, now you have to deal with it. And on top of that you lied to your parents for 4 years? Buddy, your supposedly a 'Man' now, you have to help raise this kid. It doesn't matter that your still in your parents house, being over 18 years old doesn't make you an adult. This is not about being in love. Being in love means you been in lust with her. But you don't even know how to actually love her. That is what this is telling me. So now that you don't know if you can love her, grow to or learn, and with a unborn baby, you don't know what to do. All I can say is that you need to figure it out now. Because it's not fair to the child that you two couldn't be more responsible for your actions. At least she told you that she is pregnant, most women don't even bother to tell men anymore and just get an abortion. Especially when he has your attitude about the situation. You need to make up your mind, because wither you like it or not, this is life. This is the real world. It is not a joke. And if you thought sex was a joke and all fun and games, well now you learned the hard way that it's not. It's serious business, and people get hurt and left emotionally and psychologically scared for life. I'm not trying to make fun of you, but this is the reality.0
Most Helpful Guy
Do not marry her. Pay your child support, stay in your kids life and you'll be much better off. A baby is not a reason to marry2