How do I get a guy to confess his age and that he's actively married so I can end things?

I travel frequently. I visit one city in particular because I have a lot (10+) life long friends that randomly relocated to this place. I'm in the middle of a divorce and was ready to peek into the dating scene. I downloaded Tinder but wasn't too keen on using it in my home city.

I found a match I was interested in, we'd talked everyday for about two weeks straight getting to know each other. I'd asked if he was single (I've encountered guys that were married and on Tinder) he response was "yes, with a technicality." He was married but also divorcing, I didn't think it was an issue because I was in the same boat. We've been talking and hanging out since April, he travels for work and I've been able to meet him sometimes and we've gone out also plenty of times in his hometown.

The Age issue:
I'm 26 and his Tinder profile states that he was 39, I'm attracted to older men but he was definitely a stretch for me but I figured since it's not something serious it was fine. When we met I was skeptical about his age. I've asked him about references to his age he finds a way to dodge the question. I did some digging and found out he's actually 49!

The marriage issue:
I did some digging online and found his wife's FB profile, let me just say I think if they're getting a divorce, it's news to her. There's been times where I've come to his hometown, not always giving advance notice and he's been able to see me and hangout. He literally finds out the day of I'm in town and doesn't seem to be an issue. He's spent the night in my hotel, we've been out on dates in the city that lasted until the wee hours of the morning. I can call him at any time and he picks up. I know he's actively married, I've seen pics of them together recently.

He's a really nice guy but I can't continue this knowing he's lying. I don't want to cause a scene but how do I address the issue, let him know I'm aware and move on without it being nasty or seeming crazy? Also why did he do this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He may be doing it because he is attracted to younger women, just as you are attracted to older men. He probably wanted something casual just like you.

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    • Why not just be honest? I'm sure there are some girls who wouldn't mind either of these if he was telling the truth. I just can't do someone 49... or married.

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    • Well.. That's really good. I'm glad it worked out that way..

    • Hopefully you're on to someone new 😊😊

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't wait on him, just end it..

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What Girls Said 1

  • Then don't continue it. If you know he's lying then why bother staying? It's not like he's going to tell you the truth anyway, he's been lying to you this long as it is. Just tell him you know and say goodbye.

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