Is it bad to ghost a girl because you discovered she has a kid?

  • Yes
    69% (325)46% (161)59% (486)Vote
  • No
    31% (147)54% (191)41% (338)Vote
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Updates:
After reading all the comments, I'm still going to ghost.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not at all, I would never date a guy who already has kids

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What Girls Said 57

  • yes ghosting is for cowards. lol at the guys response. so ok guys for the next time you say you hate and dont play games-- i call #BULLSHIT

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    • Do you play games? don't bullshit me now, you do, don't you...

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    • yeah, it's chicken-shit' ... dudes too scared of confrontation and are too passive aggressive.

    • @MrAtticusLebowski

      You've got my agreement :)

  • Ghosting is never the right thing to do... I can't imagine how many times it probably happens to her... if your not up for a kid that is fine, but do her the favor and give some honesty.

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  • Kind of... I mean why not just tell her so she can move on. Say you are not prepared for that and don't want to waste her time because you might not be prepared for that for a looong time to come.

    I'm sure, if she's normal, she'll appreciate it way more than you ghosting her.

    But if she's smart, she would've already figured out it's because of the fact she has a kid that you're not answering her calls...

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  • Ghosting is rude. You should just tell her straight up you're not interested in pursuing things further because you don't want to date someone with a kid.

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    • That said, I think the fact that you have a kid is something that should be mentioned right off the bat so no one wastes their time.

  • Grow a pair and tell her you're no longer interested because she has a child. Don't waste a single mother's time, she's already busy with the kid.

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    • She wasted my time not being upfront

    • It's never easy to tell someone you're interested in that you have a child, for this very reason. I'm aware that she should've been upfront but maybe be the bigger person?

  • Not Everyone under the golden Sun Accepts... A girl because you discovered she has a kid. It takes a Special person to be Involved and the Sticky Situation at Hand is not always easy, for Woman nor Man.
    However, it is Best from the Rest to Explain yourself over the phone, if you feel you cannot face her. Don't just Disappear here, dear, that is the Cowardly way out, as you go on your way, Out and About.
    Casper never was Called "The Spineless Ghost."
    Good luck. xx

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  • Yes, she should have told you upfront. And yes, she wasted your time. I think ghosting in her would be easy, but even if you don't owe it to her, tell her you're not interested and break it off properly because it's the right thing to do.

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  • Why ghost on her for? It's not like she's going to marry you dude. Just tell her you ain't interested in her because she has a kid or whatever the reason is, be a man about it.

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  • Yeah it's a bad thing. You should've just straight up told her you're not ready to date someone with kids and been done with that. Ghosting will leave her wondering what happened and what she did wrong. If you tell her why you want to end things at least you can both officially move on.

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  • I voted yes because but only because it's bad to ghost anyone. If you don't want to be with a girl with a child at your age that is more than fine! You're young and you shouldn't have to settle for less.

    Her being a young person, single with a child should be signs of her irresponsibility and probably bad experiences with men you'd have to deal with.

    It's best to find someone who is on the same level as you. Just be honest with her and move forward with your life. It's not your job to play daddy to this child simply because his mother made poor choices in a mate.

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  • I was going to say yes, but then I started thinking about my personal viewpoints. I wouldn't date a guy if he had a kid. Before you all start judging me. Hear me out. I'm only 20 years old and tend to be attracted to guys around my age. If he's around my age and already has a kid, that's just something I don't think I can handle at this point in my life. Now, if I was 30, and a guy I was talking to had a kid, that's a different story. That's a completely different stage of life.

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  • What's wrong with just telling her you're not interested anymore?

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  • Ghosting is always rude and spineless. Just tell her you're not interested anymore so that she won't waste any time wondering if you'll ever talk to her again or not.

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  • Yea, if you were a better person, you'd tell her you don't want to continue talking instead of running away.

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  • Absolutely not. You need to be honest and say you don't think you are ready for a big responsibility--that you to learn to take care of yourself and your girl before you know how to provide for a kid. That way it's honest. It will probably hurt her feelings but it would be better than to just straight up ghost her.

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  • "Ghosting" is bad in itself for any reason.
    It's just another way adults have proven that they have no confrontational skills and would rather just disappear or hide from their problems. Or uncomfortable situations.

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  • Ghosting is the worst thing you can do to anyone. What's wrong with being honest? I know it takes guts but if one wants to play adult games, one must realize the consequences.

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  • You could at least have the guts to end it.

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  • ghosting in general is rude and extremely messed up, grow some and tell her that you are no longer interested because she has a child.. she would be more understanding if you just came out and said it instead of you getting the label that your a jerk..

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  • It's wrong to "ghost" anyone. That's utter bullshit. Grow a pair and tell her flat out that you aren't comfortable with the situation. God damn.

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  • It's bad to ghost period. Be honest with her like a real adult should be.

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  • Why not just tell her you rather not date someone with a child instead of giving her false hope that you actually do care and might come back.. when you in fact have no intention of doing so.

    "I think you're a great person, but I'm not comfortable being with someone who has a kid."

    If she can't accept that straight forward directness than she's not a woman.

    Even if you found out on your own about thr kid, you still owe her that much. Wouldn't you?

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  • It's bad to ghost in general. I mean, if you don't want her, just break up with her, but don't wuss out and just never speak to her again.

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  • Yeah it's pretty rude to do that to anyone regardless of the reason why. She at least deserves a quick explanation.

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  • Yes just be honest if it is such a problem

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  • I guess not but it would better if you tell her straight up but in a gentle way that you are not ready for kids or something. :)

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  • I mean you could... But you could also be mature and admit you aren't ready for kids.

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  • It's always bad to ghost a person.

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  • Ghosting is always bad, at least tell her you're not interested anymore (no need to tell the reason, just be nice about it)

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  • you dont have to talk to her anymore but dont just disappear, tell her that its a deal breaker for you and move on.

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What Guys Said 52

  • Why wouldn't you at least tell her that you were calling it quits because you felt that you had been deceived?

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  • All the women will have the opinion that "ghosting" a girl is rude or cowardly.
    So what the hell do they call it when a girl "ghosts" a guy.
    When I was single, I got ghosted a number of times. I really didn't know what to think.
    I'm of the opinion that women "ghost" guys all the time as part of their M. O.
    It's all bullshit and eventually I got to the point where I just didn't give a shit about the girls feelings.
    I've now been married for 31 years. But there was a very tense period before we got engaged that near ended our relationship due to some of this bullshit.
    We were in the "Boundary Waters Canoe Area" in northern Minnesota and I damn near kicked her out of the canoe and let her swim home. I didn't talk to her for two weeks and hung up the phone on her twice.
    That's what happens to men who often deal with a women's BS like this "ghosting".

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    • Ayy man thats whats up 31 years and running and yeah women see as its ok for them to go ghost on people but let that guy go ghost on them they want answers and they see it as wrong. If a man starts wanting answers why he went ghost its either you are looked at as crazy or they give u a fluffy bs story lol

    • No one said it's ok for women to ghost it is rude and disrespectful not to say even immature for both genders.

  • It is not bad to reject someone. It is not good to ghost someone.

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  • i think it's wrong to ghost people in general. it's both disrespectful and somewhat cowardly.

    breaking up or dumping someone is never easy or fun but the right thing to do is tell them that you simply don't want to continue dating

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  • Yes, if the guy is bothered by the fact that she has kids or if he has other logical reasons to ghost her.

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  • Yes, regardless of why you don't want to see her, you should have the decency to break it off. Flaking on someone is disrespectful.

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  • I would not ghost anyone. It is cowardly.
    As for whether or not a child would cause me to lose interest, that would depend upon a list of variables.
    For example, is she a widow?
    Each case should be assessed on its merits.

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  • I'm typically a bit more forward so to me it's bad and the coward's way out. You could just tell her she's great but you're not at a point in your life where you could be with someone with a child.

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  • Its bad, but not necessarily for that particular reason. Its bad to ghost in the first place, regardless of the situation. Instead, you should tell her you've lost interest so she at least knows she can move on.

    Is it bad to lose interest in a girl because she has a kid? Not at all. In fact, I don't blame you. But it is bad to ghost her, rather than being honest.

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  • Yeah, I mean, she at least deserves a reason as to why you ghosted her. At least my opinion...

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  • If I wasn't feeling it, I would tell her why but at my age the chances she has children are so much higher. I don't ever recall it being an issue but definitely from the age of 30. I have always considered it a distinct possibility.

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  • Ghosting is pretty shtty but everyone seems to do it lol

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  • Well... it's "less" bad than doing it for any other reason, but then again, it's for reasons like these that women with kids don't reveal that big fact straight away. It would have been best to simply and bluntly tell her you're no longer interested.

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  • What is this 'Ghosting' thing? I don't know that term in relation to how you use it!

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    • Stop texting.

    • @posted Sorry I'm a little 'Old' and don't get all the terms. Just stop texting/chatting/talking with a person, just because you find out she has a kid?
      Not sure. Not enough info. Do you really like her? How old is the kid? Is the Father in the picture, or just another deadbeat D-bag making all men look bad!!
      I've dated women with kids. It can be challenging, not feeling jealous, consciously KNOWING the KID must come first, but sometimes struggling, not to hate the kid, when they get sick, and ruin what was looking like a perfect evening!
      It comes down to the integrity of the MAN, and WHO he is. If you care for her, you need to find a way to love the child, as they are a couple, a package deal!!!
      Most guys can't do it, and just bail out!!
      I messed up the first time, a little older than you, but later, I found another, and it lasted almost two years, and we ended up parting because she moved back to South Carolina.
      I still send B-day cards to the boy, and her. Still friends.

  • Ghosting? As in being a spineless tard who doesn't want to come clean and call it quits, hey man getting people's hopes up and then becoming a ghost is a dick move. If you live as a ghost that's fine, but ghosts don't date people. We just live as ghosts minding our own fucking business :D

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  • I see "ghosting" as pretty cowardly, anyway.

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  • You should break out the ghosting when you even suspect she might be crazy. Low impulse control, overemotional, etc. Just keep in mind you don't owe anybody an explanation and sometimes it's best NOT to explain. This is all contextual, so use your best judgement here.

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  • well i think it would be more respectable to be straight up about that, so that she doesn´t feels like she´s being ignored. it shouldn´t be so hard to understand that that´s a problem for some, if not most men.

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  • bottom line. Its a package deal. You may not be the father, but if you love her enough, you will be a man

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  • Yeah that's a dick move. It's completely understandable if you don't want to be with her because she has a kid but don't ghost her. Just tell her why and say have a good day.

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  • Ghosting is wrong. Tell her that you want nothing to do with a relationship with her because she has a kid.

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  • Yes. You should be a man and tell her that you don't feel comfortable dating someone with a child instead ghosting her like a little bitch

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  • She could be upfront about it - that would save both of you some trouble.
    Still, you don't have to ghost.

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  • She didn't have the decency to tell you she has a kid, why should she get any decency in return.
    That being said, it is easy to just tell her you are no longer interested, so just do it.

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  • I say yes, at least tell her why u don't want to date anymore.

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  • No, it's damn smart!

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  • I believe in being a conformist. Ghosting is for cowards. That, and it ain't right.

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  • it's not cool to ghost anyone period. coward move.

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  • Haha fuck yeah OP. I'm no cuck lol. Like the fuk am I going to do raise some other guys kids. Haha no thanks Jeff

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  • I think it's a little rude. Just tell her you aren't ready for that.

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