Lemme cliff note this.
- told a dude I wasn't much of a relationship girl, right off the bat
- that was a week ago, our convos have been purely sexual until we can meet up to hook up
- am starting to think I can see myself in a relationship with him
Would you easily be able to switch from viewing a girl as just a hook up to seeing her as relationship material?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't know what all the girls are talking about.
I've always had this fantasy of wanting to be the kind of guy who just wants to have casual sex relationships and just go from hook up to hook up. When push comes to shove, I just can't do it. I prefer to be in a relationship. I don't know, maybe childhood socialization has got to me and I can't un-hypnotize myself, but I "need" to be in a relationship with someone first before I can have sex with them.
Now, don't get me wrong (and I'm not just being a lawyer here), all that means is that I'm meeting someone, we date, we have sex, and I don't feel like we're "just hooking up." In other words, I feel like I'm going to see her again, I feel like we're a couple, that it's just us. That's it. It's not a high hurdle.
What you basically did was kill that right off the bat. I've been with girls who have come close to that, but never one that's straight up said, "I'm not relationship material, I just want to hook up with you, that's it, you and me are just sex and nothing else, got it? Good." I think if a girl said that too me, I'd be too emotionally turned off to want to have sex with her.
Anyway, I don't think you have to worry about a "switch." It's no so much a "switch" (conceptually) as much as it is a matter of "prohibition/restriction."
You know, girls normally want an "emotional relationship only" at first, and then, (3+ months later according to GaG users), feel "comfortable enough" to have a "sexual relationship."
Your situation is almost like the reverse of that. You welcomed a "sexual relationship only" at first, but put your hand out and pulled out the stop sign and red light as to the "emotional relationship." "YOU" prohibited and restricted any kind of emotional relationship.
I'm telling you as a guy, with plenty of guy friends, yes guys want and like sex, but they want and like the emotional aspect of a relationship just as much. Again, I don't think it's correct or accurate to frame the question or conceptualize the issue as "do you see her as relationship material now, or is she forever doomed to just a hook up?" It doesn't work that way. That doesn't capture or reflect the dynamics of what's going on.0