Am I in the friend's zone?

I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months. He's told me that he really likes me and he feels like he can lean on me, that I'm changing him for the better despite his trust issues/tendency to push people away. He even asked me if I could see us turning in to something real. He invited me to meet his family as well.

Recently he called and gave me this long " we're working on our friendship" speech. It was really weird so I pressed him on it. He said he felt like I texted him too much and wanted to slow down. I explained to him that I texted everyone I knew at the same speed and it wasn't exclusive to him or my way of trying to escalate or get closer to him, also that I knew we weren't serious. It wasn't what he said but how he talked about me was what stung. Like I was obsessed with him. Nevertheless I told him I would respect his space and text him less.

The next day He knew I was upset so he decided to show up uninvited to a party I invited him to earlier that week despite my efforts to get him not to come. I found that interesting given the lecture he gave me about boundaries the night before. Of course it was awkward but we had an okay time. After that I cut my texting down 98% I would say to just once or twice a day and have kept it extremely short.

We have agreed to start over and even have a date still scheduled but I feel really uncomfortable around him now. I felt like he was sending me mixed signals. Telling me he could see a future with me, inviting me to see the family, saying he talks to them about me but can turn around and tell me in a way I'm being too clingy.

We did talk it out and he says he can't afford to lose anymore "friends", especially someone as great as me. But has made little effort to contact me like he use to. I feel like I shouldn't even go on this date, is he stringing me along? Am I an option to him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I reccomend you to friendzone him, he's very instable and will hurt you...

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What Girls Said 1

  • You're indeed in the friend-zone.

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