Would it be a deal breaker if you found out a girl you're dating used to be a sugar baby when she was 18-20?

It's been 3 years since then. She graduated from college and has a good job now - she has no interest in that lifestyle anymore. Sugaring paid for her 120K tuition though, and covered all her living and health expenses for four years, so she doesn't have any student loans or debt to pay off.

No one else knows about this. Not her friends or her family; just her. She lives in an entirely different state now too and has no contact with her ex-SD.

Also, is it something you'd rather not know? Better to just take it to the grave? Would you stop dating her if she told you?

She's been told she's very beautiful, sweet, smart, fun, and generally a good person, if that helps her case any lol.

Thanks.

  • I'd want to know, and would not continue dating her.
    38% (10)54% (22)48% (32)Vote
  • I'd want to know, but would continue dating her.
    23% (6)27% (11)25% (17)Vote
  • I wouldn't want to know.
    15% (4)19% (8)18% (12)Vote
  • Other
    24% (6)0% (0)9% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dont mess with the bull. Let it stay in your past. Some guys won't mind some guys will immediately call you a whore and it won't bother other guys until some point in the future. You can't know which guy youve got until after theyve told you what they think. If your sd won't randomly pop back into your life then let it be... but if something from your past will come back then they need to know.

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What Guys Said 20

  • I would want to know about it and I would want to ask her to tell me about it.
    People make bad decisions, especially when they are young.
    People also change. Between the onset of puberty and the age to (roughly) 25 the brain is rewired extensively, which means that the 18-year-old girl who prostituted herself as a sugar baby would probably not be the same person by the time that she was 25 years old.
    If the older woman was the person who interested me enough to take the risk of dating her, I would place more importance on the person whom I know today.
    There would be only one thing that I could not forgive and trading sex for the cost of her education is not that thing.

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    • Thanks for your answer.

    • I think that my response is more forgiving than the responses of the younger men because I have a few decades more life experience.
      I have made bad decisions and I have seen others make bad decisions that, if they could have their time over, they would not make again.
      Ultimately, what she did when she was 18 is between her and whatever her concept of God may (or may not) be.

  • wow... yeah, this is a deal breaker. Shows an EXTREME lack of character. Not sure how you're taking this to the grave. Kids in their early 20's don't just pay off 120k$ in debt like that. You're SO is bound to get curious.

    I'm guessing, you'll probably lie to cover this up and take this to the grave.

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    • I don't know what I'll do yet. I want to be able to tell the truth, but it's hard. My parents are well off, so I could say they paid for it. We don't have a good relationship. They live in another country, and were very against me leaving home to go to college for complicated reasons. I rarely speak to them anymore, but yeah.

    • In other words you want freedom of choice without the potential of suffering consequences for those choices so you are thinking about lying. The truth has a very funny way of coming out. You'd be surprised how many lies women have let slip without even realising it after emotion has taken them over a little.

      I've discovered lies from noticing small discrepancies from one month compared to something said several months down the line. I also notice how you call it ''sugaring'' to avoid another truth. There is nothing sweet about that...

  • I would never date a girl who did that. Being a sugar baby is prostitution so I think it's really slutty and classless.

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  • I'd leave her lazy, gold digging ass right there in the ice cream shop.

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  • I wouldn't be okay dating a former willing prostitute.

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  • Yep. A ho is a ho all the way through. It's a matter of character.

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  • who knows. i personally wouldn't mind being hoes seems so normal nowdays

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  • I can't date somebody who sells their body like that.

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  • Some people will do anything for money. Im not here to save or date >hoes<. Pathetic

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    • It gave me a great education, my dream career path, and a better life. I don't need saving.

    • Haha you needed saving when you were a sugar baby.✌

    • Used to, just not anymore 😊

  • I would break up with her if she ever did that

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  • It is a minus from me but not a dealbreaker. I would like to know tho.

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  • Poor character, lack of moral integrity. I would not want anyone like that near me.

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  • i wish i was girl and could pay off college by fuckin people. seems so nice.

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  • I would feel like I was losing a part of myself if I committed to her monogamously

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  • I'd want to know, and would not continue dating her.

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  • No thank you. I find this kind of thing beyond the pale.

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  • I believe people make mistakes and can be forgiven those mistakes, but doing it for four years is more than a mistake, that is an indicator of character. And I believe a person can change their character, but 3 years is far too short a time to change the nature of a person without some kind of life-changing event. And to be honest, it doesn't sound as if she's changed, it just sounds like her situation changed and she doesn't need the money anymore. She's still the same kind of person, and if she ever needed the money again, I'd see no reason she wouldn't go back to her old way of life.

    I'd say I'd want to know and it would be a deal breaker.

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    • It was for two years, but yeah thanks for your opinion.

  • I wouldn't stop dating her. Also I rather not know about it. I mean how is she supposed to bring that up? "Oh babe, I just wanted to tell you, I had a sugar daddy for 4 years." I would be confused as hell.

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  • Sugar baby stuff is just prostitution in a contract form.

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    • Yes, but the question is about whether you would have an issue with that, or not.

  • I hear sugaring is rather common at some universities. so there is a real chance a guy might meet a girl who had been one at some point. I'm not sure it be a deal breaker? was she like giving bj's or sex to the older dude or just spending time with him?

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    • It was like a relationship, but a paid one with an older, rich guy (45). You spend time with him, go out to dinner, shopping, accompany him on trips, have sex, etc.

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    • I though about this some more , think any guy is going to be weirder out by your sugardays. I'd just tell them your parents paid for college or you got a scholarship or you still owe money , that's sounds a lot better personally.

    • I think you're right.

What Girls Said 4

  • Sugarbaby is the sugarcoated name for prostitute.

    Some men would have no problem with this, while others will.
    It's as simple as that.

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  • What is a sugar baby?

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    • A young prostitute that uses lonely older men to leech money from. Both are equally stupid and desperate.

  • Fck er

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  • I use to be a sugar baby told my boyfriend and he wasn't happy... i wouldn't say anything

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    • You're telling her to lie to her SO? If her boyfriend loves her for who she is then he'll be able to accept that history of her. If not then she should find someone who will.

      Dont listen to the anon OP

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    • From the responses, it looks like I'd be stupid to say anything...

    • she doesn't have to listen to any of us... you make a decision that's makes you have and comfortable. If you tell that's fine if you don't that's also fine just be prepared if you do

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