There are many things I hate about dating. One of the things is the inability to be vulnerable and genuine and to create a meaningful connection. (It's not impossible, but the dating rules certainly make it difficult) 1. The whole don't appear too interested/ don't call/ text until a certain time has lapsed. This is the dumbest rule ever! Someone has to show interest at some point. Why can't a person if they like someone just call them and say 'hey... Talking to you today made my day... Let's chat tomorrow!'
I really could go on and on. But it boils down to this. Wouldn't we build more meaningful relationships (and friendships for that matter), if we refused to play these games, and allowed ourselves to genuinely be who we are, and gave ourselves the freedom to express ourselves positively?
The only rule I'd stick to is: first take you time to learn to know each other, before going a step further. Apart from that I follow my heart. If you wait a week to text him or her, the person may think contact was lost and may already be in for a next date. So I think that rule is indeed bullshit :o
YES! Especially the rule you listed about not seeming too interested. If I like a guy, I like him. I want to spend time with him, I want do see him and hear about his life. Want to tell me about your day? I love that Ish. I hate when people make me feel weird or bad for liking that stuff.
I hate being labelled clingy because I care about a person I am seeing. I have my own life, there are things going on in it. I am very busy at times. But I believe in making time for those I care about. I value romantic relationships, I'm not someone who likes to just go on dates and stuff. I love relationships.
I really do agree that if we stopped with the silly dating rules that we would build more meaningful friendships and relationships. I think the reason these rules started was because people who are uncomfortable with relationships started these rules. Sure, not everyone is comfortable with contact, or having someone be interested in them. And that is okay too, but make a point to say that to the person. Don't be afraid to be you! If you like talking to a person and you tell them that and then they run off and never want to see you again, realize that person is not right for you and it's a good thing they left your life!
Sure, I have been unafraid to show how I feel at times. And yes, that has gotten me sad and lonely a lot of times. But I am hoping that someday (hopefully soon!) some guy will see that and say "I want to be with her, she seems like fun and very loving" And for him to just love the crap out of me.
So far that seems to be a hoop dream, but hopefully some day a guy will want to be with me. It's just the waiting that is hard. :)
I might be an outlier here, but i like the games lol (dont believe in the rules so much). I really lose interest fast if a girl is too easy and too upfront about her intentions. It's a fine line though, between playing hard-to-get and being outright cold and aloof.
I do agree with friendships that people should be open about it.
Agree. If parties involved are confident and mayure those rules are diminished. It is the emotionally unsound... unsure and insecure that causes those rules. Once find mature people they sre less relevant.
I think the "don't call/text" rule is not about "don't appear too interested" but more so respecting your partner's private space. You're in a relationship , you're not signing up to become siamese twins.
I have never understood these rules either - if I talk with a girl, I'll talk whenever it's convenient. If I don't respond for a time, then that just means I wasn't able to, not that I was waiting an arbitrary amount of time to do so.
Too many mind games. I just don't tolerate it. I've been working on my career and worrying about that. The moment someone starts drama and mind games, I stop them and tell them get out if you dont like it. No one is going to change me. Someone trying the texting mind game, I stop contact period.
No, can''t say I've ever gotten tired of those dating norms like playing 'not interested' or having to make the guy chase you so that you're sure he's interested.
I'm fortunate enough that any time I felt like a guy was pulling shit like that on me, I'd have no issue leaving him be and moving on. I don't have time or patience to deal with people who believe that resorting to grade-school methods is equally appropriate when you're actually dating.
Never had the patience to bother with games or rules. If I like someone, I like them and I tell them. I don't understand the point in feigning disinterest or minimal interest.
It's funny me and my boyfriend were just talking about that last night, how we basically met, went out a couple times, and quickly settled right into a relationship because we both knew we wanted that and didn't bother beating around the bush about it. I wouldn't have it any other way!
Hey! That's what I did with my first relationship and do you wanna know what happened? The guy started praising me so much and practically texting me so much love letters I got sick to the stomach. In the end we both ended up getting back hurt. It is wiser to not necessarily "play by rules" but rather be caughtious and ponder your steps. Just like the bible says. The human heart is very sensitive and naive. Like a child and it can lose reason. It's the reason girl's fall for bad boys and boys fall for a girl who just would never like him. My Point is.. is that those rules are actually kinda wise and it's good to be careful. If you don't follow them the person you're dating will subconsciously assume that you would date anyone and that you're naive, inexperienced and don't have a great life of your own. Even if that's totally not true.
It's all bullshit. I love by my own rules, you don't like it gtfo
well take away all the "rules" add love, respect, honesty, communication, trust, loyalty and you will end up with something great, that is if it is from both sides. those are the key things i believe in
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Home > Dating > Do you sometimes get so tired of the dating games/ rules?