I've been with my partner for a long time and we've had our fair share of problems throughout the years we've been together but recently I found out that she'd been messaging another guy.
It started a couple of weeks ago when she went on holiday with one of her friends, a chill holiday, just the two of them. I then went to visit my uni friend who had moved to Madrid. Everything felt fine until the end of my holiday, she had come home two days before me and had decided to start getting irate with me about something trivial (taking my car keys and blocking her in by accident, spare keys were in the house available).
I could tell something was wrong immediately. We had a little tiff when I got home which was sorted out. The next day I had to work late and she was going out with work. Normally we would message throughout the day with general chit chat etc but that day was like hard work chatting to her. Anyway she ended up ignoring me completely while she was out except an hour before she got in I just got an ':(' emoji, I messaged back immediately asking what's up but got ignored again.
When she got in, I was still up and she was awful to me, had demanded why I hadn't done anything for her all night and went to bed immediately. I had an extremely bad feeling about what was going on and so I did the distrustful thing of looking through her phone. I then found 1000s of messages to and from this guy starting from when she went away. These weren’t sexual messages but they were flirty and this night she had literally begged this guy to come out, over and over and over. Fortunately he couldn’t make it.
I was distraught about the situation and had no idea what to do; she was chatting to a guy about 9 months ago, doing a similar thing and deleting the messages but got caught in the act. I told her if it ever happened again we were over. I love her but I feel like this is something that will continue in another 9 months or so, can anyone offer any advice?
She finally started to tell me that she felt like she was going through some crisis in her life and that the guy was just a distraction and a bit of fun but it wouldn't have gone anywhere... I'm not sure I believe that but I don't think I can make my mind up without knowing everything?
Most Helpful Girl
It's time to leave. It's happened before. You told her what would happen if she did it again. Yes you love her maybe she loves you. It that's not the way to show it and these little fights are only a sign of what's to come. you don't seem to trust her and I can understand why so even if she did stop you'd still always wonder. Not good for a relationship. Sorry. 😕3