Have you ever "taken a break" from dating?

I don't mean "taking a break" as in you and your boyfriend are girlfriend are putting your relationship on hold. I mean in the sense that you've dated and pursued relationships for a while, but at some point, you just needed to take a step back and re-evaluate things.

What was/were your reason (s)? How long was it before you started dating again? I am right now. A lot has happened over the last few years and I need to take some time off from it to re-evaluate and re-prioritize things in my life.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, after my first and second boyfriend. Thats why I dont understand rebound relationships, and I don't know how some people can have "backups" ready for once it's over.

    It literally takes me over a year to finally be over him. And then a take a few months to just reevaluate my life and see what do I actually want. To try to improve myself, be happy with myself, to see who I am when I'm alone and be comfortable like that. I feel that sometimes people are with others simply because they hate themselves so much, and its better (in their eyes) to be with someone they're unhappy with (their partner) than someone they hate (themselves).
    It's sad really, and I encourage serial daters to try and be alone for a while, and yes, this includes no casual sex lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • yes, after last breakup (4yrs) I had gone into counseling before that ended and took a break of around 6-8 months. During that I had lost my job of 25 years so double whammy. I got my environment (house) in order, went to counseling to work on me stuff and understand what happened, I looked at profiles and read, studied, learned and worked on myself and in general got myself fixed up. Honestly right out of the last relationship I tried to online date someone and she freaked on me. It added hurt ontop of hurt and That was what totally motivated me to stop and figure out what was going on. I learned so much from all of that I'm a new person. What lies beneath so many problems is an insufficiently developed inner child... a wounded emotional child that is controlling the adult and guiding them into trouble over and over.

    All of it was well worth it. I can look back at that terribly painful relationship and the loss and be thankful for it because it got me to a new level... I would have never seen by just reading books. Gotta stop and learn from the tragedies... or they will be repeated until you do. That was my case.

    I applaud your taking a pause, you have all kinds of time. p. s. I took long breaks in my 20s but I didn't do any work on me... I just lived and that doesn't help. Failure to do work on your inner self and learn means repetition of problems until you do.

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What Girls Said 35

  • Yeah when I went through a dating phase (before my current boyfriend) I just kept bumping into men I didn't like or they weren't on the same page as I was, or they played mind games. I was just at the point of just giving up. So I took a break from it. I wasn't searching for anything anymore, because I just didn't want to spend the time and effort into searching for someone. I guess it worked out. When I stopped searching I came on here and met someone amazing :) unexpectedly lol it wasn't my intention to come on GaG and have a boyfriend.. It just happened lol I'm very content and happy though 😁

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  • My boyfriend and I have had only one break in our relationship. It lasted two months and was due to the fact he was so stressed with college to the point he had no time to even talk to me let alone see me. Neither of us saw other people or anything during this break and I supported him through it, giving him the space he needed. And once he felt ready to continue the relationship we did.

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    • That was great of you to do that. I don't think I knew anyone mature enough in college to do that.

    • @ArrowheadSW thank you!

      And wow, I just realized I read the question wrong. I must have been tired yesterday. I haven't taken a break from dating in general simply because I was never really interested in dating for the longest time. To me school was more important and relationships weren't something I wanted. Not sure if that counts.

    • I found it hard to date in college. I had a pretty hard major and it was a struggle to keep your head above water a lot of the time. I always admired those who could juggle classes and studying with having a relationship. From my class, I think there were actually around 15 couples who got married after graduating. So there were those who did it.

  • Yup. I took roughly 1.5 years off from dating after my last relationship ended with my being cheated on. I was obviously devastated as I had been best friends with not only my ex, but a lot of his friends as well. So I not only was left missing him, but a big part of my social group as well (I didn't feel comfortable hanging with his friends after, even though they had nothing against me.) I obviously had resulting trust-issues that still read their head once in a while even now, almost 5 years later.

    So yeah, I took ~1.5 years off, being single, before getting into my current relationship. In hindsight, that 'break' was pretty positive in the long-run. I did lots of self-reflection and learned a lot about both myself, as well as how to best navigate relationships, now knowing more of my definite 'weaknesses'.

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  • That's what I'm doing right now. It turned out the last guy I dated was married and the relationship, understandably, ended very abruptly. I thought I'd done everything right and had been super careful to ask specific questions and feel things out but people can still lie no matter what you do.

    So yeah... Working on that kind of hurt takes time it turns out.

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  • Yes, because we were constantly fighting and on each others nerves everytime we hung out or talked. Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder. Sadly, we grew apart and learned that we both changed so much. We tried to get back after "the break" but it just wasn't working out anymore.

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  • Yep. When I was in high school, I went through a painful breakup that made me depressed (not the only reason, but it was the trigger). I didn't date for about two years after that. I was too busy taking care of my health which he messed up, I didn't even think of dating or hanging out with people. Eventually I got back into the game though. One day, I just told myself, Okay, today you're going to move on. It took a lot of willpower and even though I dated, it took me a long time to get over him completely.

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  • nothing that serious, just breaks from it for either saving his wallet from crying to death, or just so we could casually hang out instead of the latter, he's a working student so i'd rather help him relieve his stress from college instead of stressing him out even more with money butterflies being whisked away from him xD

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  • Yes because I was tired of dealing with guys shit. Lies, excuses, poor performance, more lies, more bullshit. Low points like that last for months, and once, even years. Sometimes we need an emotional and mental break from the opposite sex. Hope you feel better soon.

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  • I have in the past. I just kept meeting a string of losers and didn't have the time to waste. Right now I've been spending a lot of time with the best guy I've ever met or dated, but things are complicated between us. Depending on the direction things go with us, I may be taking a break if we end up not pursuing something serious.

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  • Yeah I'm on a bit of a break right now... although it's not like I've been in the dating pool for long anyways.
    The reason being so is that teenage boys (or at least the ones I come across) are too immature for me. And it's not really socially acceptable to date up much in terms of age either.
    Besides, I enjoy the single life. I can flirt shamelessly and move from boy to boy ;P lol

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  • I've been on break for a year+ now. I decided to take a break because I didn't know what I wanted in a relationship. Literally I'm not going to lie I've had 7+ ex boyfriends and I had not feelings for them at all. When we breakup I move on, no heart aches, no hard feelings. I knew it wasn't fair to them for me to drag them along and just let go whenever i wanted to. So I took a break.

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  • I took a 3 year break and ended it when I met my ex in 2014. It didn't help me in any way really other than make me feel more alone. But I can see how it would benefit others.

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  • I have gone on hiatus but the funny thing was all these guys started approaching me and it was so hard not to give them my number. Like some of these men where attractive and successful (or as they claim) which isn't common because usually guys the opposite approach me!

    I lasted for about 6 months but I really did have a valid excuse- I was focusing on me and doing good in school.

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  • My 10 year relationship ended, i took a year off.
    my last relationship ended march/april., he took up all my free time. so i am happy being free for now.
    i have a lot to deal with at the moment.

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  • I am on a break too. At first I wanted to break up with the guy but he was begging me to just think about it before making any harsh decisions, so I suggested a break. The reason is mostly because we have different priorities in life, ha puts love on top while I prioritize finances. But the biggest reason is that he doesn't seem as ambitious as I am. I need to constantly reassure him that he is good enough and to start doing something about his situation. It is really hard and it exhausts me.

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  • I did 4 years ago. Dating became so bad for my self esteem that I just had to stop. I've pursued making myself happy :) I still have not began to date as of yet, and I don't know if I will anytime soon. People date too recklessly nowadays...

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  • i'm still on break. my last relationship wasn't really a relationship and i found myself accepting a standard that i would not normally accept. that's when i knew i needed to step back. because when you find yourself doing things you don't believe in, that's a problem. so i'm re-evaluating.

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  • I kinda feel this way now and I think it's because I'm becoming rather jaded that there are no commitment minded men out there right now. Sigh...😑

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  • I did.. After a really messed up relationship I decided to take a break from dating. It was so much fun.. I think during my last relationsip I forgot the core of me and that break helped me redefine my thoughts and my life... nevertheless it gets lonely at times but hey at least now I know what I want and I gave myself time to heal hence I won't be vulnerable in any decision I am willing to take

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  • What you're doing is very good for yourself.

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  • Never done that.

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  • Yeah, this whole year, I haven't dated anyone until now.

    Didn't have the time for a relationship, and was kinda tired after two long relationships before that.

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  • Yes. I haven't been on a date or done anything with a guy in about 10 years. I am taking a long break from dating, to progress further in my career and self development. I know what I want in life, and I'm going after it.

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  • Oui oui

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  • Never took a break. Always played it as it was. No boyfriend makes it easy. I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want.

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  • Im never actively looking for someone just like Im never not looking.

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  • Still on a break its been 3 years

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    • Im unemployed, so I don't date and Im tired of meeting assholes

  • I have never ever ever dated before so I dont know the meaning of "taking a break"haha

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  • No that doesn't make sense to me. If we are having problems we should work together to solve it, seek outside help and if it's clearly not working out then it's better to end it.

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What Guys Said 24

  • I have for sure. My first love broke up with because she had to move, then shortly after that I more or less got cheated on 3 times in a 12 months period. All of this made me very bitter and in hindsight I probably had depression or something. At around the same time I decided to move states, go back to school, and change careers. Because of all this I felt it was best to not be active in the dating game while I was 1. not in the right state of mind regarding women, and 2. Had to focus on my new career.

    Now that's not to say I completely avoided dating. I just didn't really actively pursue it. On a few occasions a really awesome girl might cross my path and I'd entertain dating her but it didn't usually work out.

    Overall I think it was a good choice for me to just focus on me for 3-4yrs and get my mind an life straight before I got back into the game.

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  • yeah i took a break for 3 years.
    after a 2nd bad ending to a relationship i decided i was done for a bit. i had felt like i'd invested too much time in trying to be with someone and not really enough time in just enjoying life. i was open to someone potentially coming on but i was committed to not pursuing relationships or even really thinking about it.

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  • I took a break for several years, and only within a year have I considered myself "on the market" again.

    I had a gut wrenching break-up, and combined that with not having steady income AND a car at the same time, I felt uncomfortable pursuing and dating women (although there were some gals giving me signals of interest).

    Now things are piecing together for me life-wise, and I'm "on the market".

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  • I dated two emotionally abuse women in a row, back in my mid-twenties. After the second one, I took about a year off without being interested in dating. One lady friend always used to ask me how I was doing, and I always replied, "enjoying being single"... She'd respond, "That bad huh?"... LOL...

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  • Nope I haven't of course I never really go out of my way to actively search either it's just one of those things that's supposed to happen in the spur of the moment. You know you meet someone your not actively looking but you get a feeling with this girl and you think I'll ask her out and see how it goes.

    That's how most of mine have gone down anyway, I'm never really going out of my way to look for someone but if I happen upon someone I like I'll take a chance and go for it normally.

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  • Hey man last relationship i was in a was 5 years ago I've been single since and by choice, I've beem being selfish and just enjoying myself plu all the time I've had really helped me think what i want and why and when, i honestly. needed that plus being single is very relaxing no stress involved bro take a vaca and. do you and then when your ready date you will be happy will. the vaca bro!

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  • Yeah. I even took a break from even talking to women if I didn't absolutely have to. I had a good streak going, too. Over a year without even talking to one.

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  • As a single dad , my " taking a break " will be permanent. I knew this when I took majority custody of my 2 children , also it does seem nearly all the single women I know want nothing to do with men anyway , so good job I've accepted my situation !!

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  • I took a four year break from it before getting married. I got tired of the games and being lied to and used. At that point, I was just done with women.

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  • I'm on a break now while I babysit my granddaughter.

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  • Definitely have. 2 times. Both times turned out well

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  • Right now I am going on my 7th month, but I am starting to get my curiosity back. So we'll see what happens.

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  • It's been a month and half for me, so I consider this taking a break?

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  • sure, time to yourself is sometimes needed in life

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  • I have.

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  • In a rather long such break right now.

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  • im doing it now and the odds are girls seems to recognize me more than before
    wtf

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  • My 'break' maybe indefinitely. Same story everytime. Last time was a waste of time.

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  • Yes I am currently on a break from dating and have been for a while now.

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  • Yeah I'm retired.

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  • Nope gotta stay sharp. After a certain time your game starts to fade

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  • yeah there has been times where I took a break from dating and wasn't seeing anyone and really not trying to see anyone either

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  • Yeah. I haven't dated in like 1 year. The reason: Too much shit and too many games from the girls. I felt (and still do) drained because of it. Lost hope and shit... All I've been doing this past year is texting girls, not even meeting them. Dating is a dirty game and it corrupts your mind to a point of no return.

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  • Yeah right now but it's not really intentional

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