So, you meet a woman, date her for awhile, and then realize you want to be with her in a committed relationship. What drove you to the realization/decision?
- I was pressured by the girl0% (0)10% (5)8% (5)Vote
- I knew right away that I wanted to be with her25% (3)29% (14)28% (17)Vote
- It took me a few weeks but I finally realized I want to be with her58% (7)52% (25)53% (32)Vote
- The sex was so good I knew it was meant to be17% (2)9% (4)11% (6)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
For most men, it doesn't work like you describe. Rather, it works like this:
They meet a girl, and almost instantly upon some significant interaction with her (usually a conversation), they know they're attracted to her for potentially more than just sex (guys can tell if they're sexually attracted to a girl with a mere glance). What follows then is him spending time with her to see if he will DISqualify her.
See, he'll be looking for "red flags" - warning signs that she is unstable/crazy/bad news or that they simply don't have good compatibility. Maybe she's moving away in a month, or maybe he finds out she's strongly into a religion or political stance that he is opposed to. Maybe he finds out she is $200k in debt, or that she wants 20 babies and he isn't sure he wants any. And maybe he just finds out after spending some time with her that she's annoying, or that they just don't have very much in common and wouldn't have much to talk about.
Usually, if she does NOT have obvious red flags, then he's willing to be in a relationship with her IF he is open to being in a relationship in general (and many guys are not, for one reason or another - and if he's not, then the girl won't matter - no means no).
But he'll have knows he likes her and wants to be with her since virtually Day 1 of meeting her/spending time with her. If he didn't feel that way about her on Day 1, then it's extremely unlikely he'll EVER feel that way about her, as guys generally aren't the type who "grow to like" someone - they know from the beginning how they feel; either YES! or NO!
So if it's a YES!, then spending time and getting to know her may turn that YES into a NO!, but it's almost never going to be a NO becoming a YES.4