Men, how long does it take you to realize you want to be with a woman?

So, you meet a woman, date her for awhile, and then realize you want to be with her in a committed relationship. What drove you to the realization/decision?

  • I was pressured by the girl
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  • I knew right away that I wanted to be with her
    25% (3)29% (14)28% (17)Vote
  • It took me a few weeks but I finally realized I want to be with her
    58% (7)52% (25)53% (32)Vote
  • The sex was so good I knew it was meant to be
    17% (2)9% (4)11% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • For most men, it doesn't work like you describe. Rather, it works like this:

    They meet a girl, and almost instantly upon some significant interaction with her (usually a conversation), they know they're attracted to her for potentially more than just sex (guys can tell if they're sexually attracted to a girl with a mere glance). What follows then is him spending time with her to see if he will DISqualify her.

    See, he'll be looking for "red flags" - warning signs that she is unstable/crazy/bad news or that they simply don't have good compatibility. Maybe she's moving away in a month, or maybe he finds out she's strongly into a religion or political stance that he is opposed to. Maybe he finds out she is $200k in debt, or that she wants 20 babies and he isn't sure he wants any. And maybe he just finds out after spending some time with her that she's annoying, or that they just don't have very much in common and wouldn't have much to talk about.

    Usually, if she does NOT have obvious red flags, then he's willing to be in a relationship with her IF he is open to being in a relationship in general (and many guys are not, for one reason or another - and if he's not, then the girl won't matter - no means no).

    But he'll have knows he likes her and wants to be with her since virtually Day 1 of meeting her/spending time with her. If he didn't feel that way about her on Day 1, then it's extremely unlikely he'll EVER feel that way about her, as guys generally aren't the type who "grow to like" someone - they know from the beginning how they feel; either YES! or NO!

    So if it's a YES!, then spending time and getting to know her may turn that YES into a NO!, but it's almost never going to be a NO becoming a YES.

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    • 3mo

      This is the most accurate description of male relationship psychology I've ever heard

    • 3mo

      Pretty accurate. It's pretty much just a result of our dating dynamics. Girls don't have the luxury of sizing up their partner before being asked out, at least not if they are more or less strangers and not friends.

What Guys Said 19

  • Usually the first few weeks I'm still feeling things out. Obviously by nature of me being a guy, I likely like the girl already to some degree or I wouldn't have asked her out.

    However, it still takes some time dating to really get to know the real person and to ascertain how compatible they are with you, or simply how they are in a relationship. That being said, most times that I really fell for a girl and knew that I wanted to continue with something serious it usually took me about a month or two.

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  • I don't think there is any defined time limit as such. If a guy had his standards for the kind of woman he wanted and if the woman matched his standards and then say 2 months of dating if nothing goes wrong, no fights , no disagreements and if things are near perfect then he can be sure that he wants to be with that woman.

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  • Women know when if they will have sex with a guy within the first few moments right?
    What do you think happens on the other side? Guys are just more..."flexible"

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  • Met my ex wife, had sex the first day i met her and we eloped 2 weeks later

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  • My wife and I grew up across the street from each other and we are about 3 years apart. She was in love with me since she was 14 and it took me until she was 17 to realize I liked her and thought spending time with her was an awesome time. However I told her I would not date her until she turned 18 because I have morals and her dad is good with a gun so... living 300 feet away makes it difficult to live my life if I fuck it up. So I waited and when she turned 18 I took her to her Senior Prom and that is when I realized I was in love with her. She is on the heavier side and I realized that is what I like, curvy girls are the thing for me but to answer your question it took me a little bit before I engaged because I was 20 and she was 17 and I am not that guy. When she turned 18 though it was on and her dad eventually ended up threatening to kill me which pushed me even closer to her but I digress... to answer your question it can take a few years especially if the other person is dating or still hung up on an ex or is going after someone else themselves. Set a date and if they don't realize they love you or would like to date you just know there are people out there that would kill to be with you.

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  • There's too many variables. If I find out the girl likes me already, that's half the battle right there. The idea that a girl likes me turns me on enough that it makes her more attractive in my eyes. Sometimes I don't realize how much I'm attracted to her until after a while of knowing her.

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  • It's C) but later you might realize that you were wrong and that is disappointing/annoying to realize

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  • Dunno I quit doing relationships. Most of the time it's a hoop to jump through to get laid and back in the day I just pretended to want a relationship when I didn't (and told them things I thought they wanted to hear to get their clothes off). I'm sure I'm not the only one. Before the angry mobs come wielding machetes and pitchforks I quit doing that 11 years ago (got tired of the drama it caused).

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  • Depends on the girl. I knew I wanted to be with my girlfriend halfway through our second date.

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  • For my entire life, when I look at a woman, the thought is either hell yes or hell no.

    You can't negotiate desire.

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  • Usually too long

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  • always pressured by the crazy female

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  • sometimes i just feel like being with a girl and then i see where it goes.

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  • About 12 years, once you hit puberty. Though for some it might take longer, they get confused.

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  • The great sex gave me a pretty strong idea early on. But it took a few months to be sure.

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  • she wants to be with me. You know this by the constant and effective communication.

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  • i NEVER want to be with a woman.. i dont like women in any way at all including sexually

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  • About 5 seconds after I meet her. Then she humors me for a week or two and lets me believe we might have a chance. Then she shuts me out. Then she leaves me for a more attractive guy. Then I get depressed. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

    Some guys get all the luck

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  • Never, I am MGTOW forever and ever.

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