Why do people dislike/hate their ex (s)?

why does it come across that so many people dislikes or evene hates their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?

I completely understand if their previous partner cheated on them or something, but besides that i dont understand what the other part could have done for the other person to dislike them to much

I just dont get it. Do everyone break up because something really bad happened?

Yes, i know that some people stay friends after breaking up, but im talking about those who dont


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think for many it's a coping mechanism and a way to move on without looking back. if you hate or dislike the person you are less likely to communicate with them or get back together. it also helps them rationalize why moving on is the best thing for them. if you think to yourself "that was the best person i'll ever meet" it can really be hard to move on from that person and meet other people. however if you tell yourself, "they were horrible, good riddance" then you feel a good justification for not being with them

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    • 3mo

      I really like your opinion and I completely agree.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't hate any of my exes, but there is one I definitely don't like, and it was because he turned into an absolute dick and continuously tried to contact me over the years by managing to hunt down about two different cellphone numbers that I never gave to him.

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    • 3mo

      You really didn't like this guy did you, damn lol.. what else this guy do

    • 3mo

      @Blueeyes2016 Well he was essentially a sociopath as it turns out, admitted to me that he had drugged his dog before to "see what would happen", and threatened to kill my sister and her animals because she played a harmless practical joke on him. He would also consistently try to pick fights with me, see if he could push my buttons, and when he couldn't he just seemed to cling to me more.

What Guys Said 16

  • In younger loves especially, love can trigger both a feeling of longing and feelings of insecurity, fear, paranoia, etc. It becomes a double-edge blade. Often lacking the emotional immaturity to deal with negative edge is often one of the common reasons relationships spiral out of control and lead to break-up.

    At that point, the person who still had feelings for their ex can feed on that negative edge which destroyed the relationship in the first place. They'll need to justify to themselves why they shouldn't have feelings for the person, and sometimes that tends to play to the polar opposite feeling of love: hate.

    It's sometimes the only way some people can make sense of moving on. If they clung to those feelings of, "She's the one and only person who ever made me truly happy", that's not going to help move on. Concluding that, "she was a total bitch," even if somewhat immature and disingenuous, can make it easier.

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    • 3mo

      Note that I'm talking about exes with whom there was deep love. Some exes are just people we didn't find so pleasant, especially if we were the ones who broke up with them.

  • Hinestly i had very strong feeling. for every girl I've dated, once things end with whoever i choose to not want anythung to do with then becouse i really wanted that relationship to work being friends with exs is not a option for me i won't say i hate them but i dont like them nor care for them either thats just me tho

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  • I don't hate or dislike my ex, I just choose not to have much to do with her. It was a rather freeing experience, so why spoil a good thing!

    All I care is that she is treating my daughter well, and as long as she continues to, I am as happy as a pig in... well you know!

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  • https://youtu.be/ztVMib1T4T4
    Really? You wonder why? Ok;
    1. Why do you think they become an 'Ex' in the first place? I doubt it's for their 'charming' personality, all be-it sometimes it just doesn't work because compatibility.
    2. Usually either of the following takes place which is why; Cheating, whoring, voting for Trump XD, lying, abuse, voting for Trump... the list goes on. :v

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  • I only dislike exes that I ended on bad terms with. I think it's easier to hate as a coping mechanism too. I can't find it in my heart to hate anyone.

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  • Because, every relationship I've had except for one, ended in either cheating or just completely shutting me out and moving on without even saying anything.

    If I can't trust you anymore, I cannot be friends with you. That's what it basically boils down to.

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  • I honestly don't

    I just know my girlfriend wants me to hate them so I pretend I do, not that I would ever talk or get back together with any of my exes

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  • It's easier to go through your life with hate than sadness...

    I dont hate any of my exes, I admire them because I know it wasn't easy for them either.

    Don't want to be their friend though...

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  • Because she got fat and lippy.

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  • If you got treated like shit and/or used then I don't see why you would like this toxic person. You have to cut toxic people out of your life who treat you like shit.

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  • because we have a reason to do so.

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  • Ummm, because she's psycho and clingy af, d00d.

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  • the way they ended up must be bad...

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  • Think of it as intense love inverted.

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    • 3mo

      but why? is it something that just happens?

  • Because when a man and a woman literally become one flesh, it becomes impossible to separate a bond so deeply ingrained; and when unforgiveness and bitterness are left unmaintained to make such a relationship rot and fall apart, it only grows worse in both of the ex-couples hearts until they ultimately either something really bad happens, or they both forgive each other and move on.

    And that's pretty much what happens when a man and a woman live after their own selfish desires and don't walk with God and end up having sex before marriage. I've seen it happen waaay too much with my friends. This is just another way the enemy tries to create havoc and heartbreak among the human race.

    But, nevertheless, thank God for giving us a way out of that mess through His glorious Son, Jesus Christ!

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  • Usually when one hates their ex, it's because it was a difficult/heartbreaking reason for the break up. Or was a bad relationship altogether.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Many reasons. As they broke up for a reason. Which is probably whatever reason the don't like them for

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  • That behaviour results from decreased self esteem. Is usually the person who gets dumped the one that starts to dislike his/her ex. People who can see from both perspectives usually don't hate their exes as they tend not to lose confidence after a breakup

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  • I think it's more common for people to break up over some kind of disagreement or betrayal than for them to just decide not to be together anymore. Both extremely negative emotions.

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  • The only two I really dislike was the abuser and cheater. The rest were mutual splits, so I don't hold anything against them.

    For some, maybe it's how they chose to cope with the situation.

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  • As for me. . . I didn't hate my ex when we broke up (although there was another girl involved), but rather because during the process of breaking up there was a lot of mind-games and trying-to-stay-in-power behavior involved.

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