Having the worst luck, how to feel better?

I am not desperate to get into a relationship, I just want to enjoy the single life. I have a good social circle and I'm content where I'm at this point in my life (health, job etc). So I just got out of dating a guy who I cared for, but he was unsure about everything going on, so that's done. I decided to get out there and date, so far 4/4 date busts. One online date from a dude who lied about who he was, another online dude who flat out flaked on me and the 3rd (someone referred to me by family), cancelled our ate 2x, he suddenly went from messaging me everyday, to not even letting me know the date was off until I asked him. I just feel deflated and upset because these guys were the ones to show interest and just let me down. How do I keep from getting disappointed?


Most Helpful Guy

  • One thing that helps a whole lot is taking into consideration where you're looking. There's no guarantee you're going to find a quality man solely over the internet, even though it does happen sometimes. Main thing is to branch out your avenues.

    Ask yourself important questions. What kind of a man are you looking for? Where would such a man be? How can you get in contact with such a man? Why do you want such a man?

    For example, if you're looking for a man of integrity who doesn't cheat and knows how to treat a woman right, you'd have a much better chance of finding such a man in a good local church in your town with sound doctrine and good people. Explore the different churches in your area.

    When you are attending church, take note of the preacher. If he preaches Christ crucified and constantly sticks to the Word of God throughout his sermons, chances are there is a congregation in there that also generally sticks with the word of God. When you have the people sticking with the Word of God, you'll most likely also have single men sticking with the Word of God. When you have single men sticking with the Word of God, you may find single men among them who have integrity, don't cheat, know how to treat a woman right, and might be interested in you.

    Let's say a man there finds you. Even when you get to that point, you still need to have discernment to make sure the man that may find you there is a genuine man of God. Nobody is perfect. Take some time to get to know him. Study the Word of God so you can be able to have better discernment (Proverbs is a great book in the Bible for that). From there, just make sure everything you do is something God would appreciate.

    Let's say a man that you like there finds you, you two get to know each other, go on dates, he proposes, you say yes and you both get married. It doesn't end there. The both of you need to stay accountable for each other, both continuing to passionately pursue a deep relationship with God through our Lord Jesus Christ together; otherwise, the marriage would eventually fall apart.

    So in essence, the most important thing is not to focus so much on finding "the right person", but rather to focus on the most important person, Jesus Christ. When you keep your eyes upon the glorious face of Christ Jesus in your heart, seeking to know more and more about Him, he will mold and shape you into the person that God wants you to be, which is way more awesome than the company of any mortal man! God bless!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, it's the same way for everyone. It's actually pretty hard to land on a decent person nowadays. You're expecting way too much.


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What Guys Said 3

  • After all that, I'd probably take a break. Talk to a counsor if you are feeling mixed up inside and rebuild self esteem (athough you sound like you have it.

    Its tough out there.

    I think the way to not be dissapointed is to adjust your expectations so that you just have fun without expectations. My guess is you are on a mission to achieve some goal and that can lead to "Thomas Edison... try 500 times to make lightbulb and 499 failures"... that's a tough road. Maybe just date and have fun and not think so much.

    hard to really judge as there is no emotion in your writing... I think you are hiding your feelings, but you may be healthy and just running into difficult guys. I can't tell fully.

  • Stop waiting for guys to ask you, and find someone you KNOW you like and YOU ask HIM out!

  • Women have such shitty taste online, it's a subconscious thing so don't feel bad about it... Go out into the real world to meet men and you'll find you'll be much better at weeding out the bad men.


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