Can being a social late bloomer affect people's dating life?

21 now and I would consider myself a social late bloomer. I was super shy in high school and a lot of girls showed interest in me. "To shy and weird to make a move." I guess I could say I wasn't bad looking just painfully shy. Then comes 19 years old I break out of my shell. The last 2 years I've been playing catchup to my peers. I've had several sexual partners and dated several girls but still not a relationship. So I'd rather have that instead of friends with benefits personally. I started working out more to raise my confidence which has helped me too. I'd say I'm a friendly , down to earth guy but women don't seem interested? I no I'm not ugly, because I've been told ever since high school that I'm very attractive. But I had more of a baby face. Now I look more like an adult. Here's a picIs being a social late bloomer effect people's dating life?
Women just seem to write me off or seem disinterested right off the bat even before I open my mouth. It's hard for me to practice my social skills as well because they can't seem to hold a conversation. I've approached girls and would be practicing more. But even though il get a lot of glances and stares from women and even men, if I go up and talk to the girl she seems standoffish and cold. I've never been told that my social skills are that bad they need work. But women just don't seem interested ever. Is my lack of success maybe my social skills or confidence?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry about being a late bloomer. I was an early bloomer lol, like I had college guys into me when I was 15. It's not necessarily better to start early because you don't really know what you're doing or who you are. Just work on building your confidence by achieving successes in your life. Lift weights, go to school, and set goals that you can meet.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was very similar and also that type of late bloomer who broke out of his shell late.

    >> I'd say I'm a friendly , down to earth guy but women don't seem interested?

    I think it all boils down to your social skills now. You got enough looks and physique and sexual experience.

    One thing that helps is to not even target women specifically. Try going towards easy-going, super friendly route. Befriend both men and women. Attend social events. Chat up everyone without thinking twice about it. Boldly introduce yourself.

    It should be easy to get some practice that way without any sexual tension, and you should be able to cultivate your character. You'll start to find what kind of conversation topics tend to be most amusing to other people when you talk about them, you'll learn how to take a genuine interest in the person in front of you to keep conversations going, etc.

    Try not to chase after girls too much but do put yourself out there and you should run into some good-looking girls that are relationship material on the way with whom you can talk to very comfortably and have their undivided attention, making it easy to casually ask them out.

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    • Thanks for the great input! Yeah I think leaving in a shell all through high school didn't help. Mainly because I had a very traumatic childhood and got bullied as well. But I've been putting myself out there, I wouldn't classify my self as "socially retarded" but I'm still not the best. My question to you is how long did It take for you to catchup socially to your peers? I've only started 1 1/2 ago. 21 now. I'm hoping by the time I'm 23 il get it and won't be as shy.

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    • Thank you so much for the help. Il be sure to take this advice and apply it.

    • Cheers -- and good luck.

What Girls Said 1

  • Lack of confidence. You don't look bad at all.

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What Guys Said 1

  • 1. You aren't bad looking.

    2. You appear tall.

    3. Have you ever tried chatting with girls casual in chat rooms and building up convo skills or even tinder?

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