I asked for a break, even though I didn't want one?

My boyfriend of six months and I haven't talked in almost a week. I asked for a break, but I didn't want to take a break. It all started a few days prior, when he said we needed to talk about our relationship. He told me all of his concerns which included us "moving too fast" and me being over his place all the time this summer. He even told me he thinks that "i like him more than he likes me", in the sense of I put more into the relationship/know how to care for relationships. He assured me that there are no other girls he's talking to, and that he just needs to get some personal and business things straight. I told him I didn't want a break but I want him to be happy so do what you need to do. He asked what I wanted. I said I could learn to give him more space if that's what he wanted, so he changed his mind and we were still together, no break. A few days passed and began to hate the situation. I felt so out of control and on his time. I told him I wanted to go on a break and he asked why. I told him it was so I could get my feelings together and take hold of the steering wheel. We agreed that in a week or so we'd come together and figure out what we wanted to do.

I want to stay with him, but only if he can fully be invested in me. He's never even told me he loves me and always says "I really like you"... he also said we were moving to fast which caused him to want to have the break. This is all happening right before two important events we were both invited to and now I have to let them know I'll be coming alone.

Now i'm at a point where I want to be with him only if he can love me the way I want. I'm annoyed and I feel used like this is coming out of nowhere. What do you guys think of his behavior? He says he "really likes me", but why are we going through all of this and why hasn't he tried reaching out to me yet?


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is what drives us crazy about women, not saying what they want or mean. As far as him changing for you it will not happen ever. People don't change. This is over and will go nowhere

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  • Guys have feelings too, you know?

    I think an extended break may be the best thing for you two at the moment. No offense, but if the point of the break was to gather your feelings, it doesn't seem to me as if you're trying very hard.

    Try expressing sympathy instead of saying things like:
    "I want to be with him only if he can love me the way I want."

    Feeling desired and loved is one thing... desiring for that love to conform to your standards alone is depriving your partner of their sense of selff and honestly very selfish imho.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Be patient for a week and tell him exactly what you described on this question. He will probably understand.

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