If a person is both ugly and has high standards, are they doomed to be forever alone?

I myself don't find myself attractive at all honestly. I have acne marks, scars, messy boring short brown hair, fat rolls, stretch marks, practically no boobs, big ass feet, a giant forehead, thin lips, a huge nose, and permanent under eye bags. However, for some reason I will not lower my standards. I get that I'm ugly, but I refuse to date other ugly people, which makes no sense. I've been asked out by other unattractive people but I've always turned them down. Everytime I think an attractive guy might be into me it always ends badly. I have some good qualities though. I'm extremely smart. I've always been at the top of my classes, I'm a pretty good artist, I've been told I'm funny as hell, and I have a very open mind. I'm not sure if these qualities can compensate for my lack of outer beauty.


1|0
9|7

Most Helpful Guy

  • A person being ugly but has high standards? Well, in that case it will be very difficult for them to find someone that matches their high standards. Let's take an example. Like if a man is only 30/100 but he has standards for a woman who is say 80/100 that is a very very attractive woman, then that's going to highly unlilkely for him to ever get that woman.

    Unlikely but not impossible because it can happen that a woman who is very attractive can still like the guy who may be ugly but has a very good personality so that woman will likely for for this ugly guy's personality rather than looks, but again the chances are less, very less. Hence if at all the ugly guy is to get an attractive woman who would be way beyond his own standards then that can only happen if he has a good " LUCK" factor otherwise it's highly unlikely.

    Hence it's not necessary that people who are ugly and have high standards are doomed to be alone forever but yes the chances are very slim for them to find a person who is way more attractive than them.

    I have not heard of many cases where an ugly person has high standards, I mean a person who knows that his standard is only 30/100 then that person having a standard for the other person to be 80/100 doesn't actually make sense, I mean why would that person purposely reduce their chances of finding someone?

    Hence a person who know that they are a person of high standards will have high standards for the kind of person they want in their life and that makes sense, yes a little bit of deviation here and there is fine, say 10- 15% ( up or down) but not too much.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Not always. I'm ugly my boyfriend is hot.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 6

  • Many people seem to have difficulty understanding that unattractive people generally don't find other unattractive people attractive. It's that simple.

    There are three possibilities I can see. First, you might not be unattractive, or at least as unattractive as you think. I rejected most women who wanted to date me. My wife, who was lovely, rejected most men who asked her out. Rejection is the norm.

    The second is that you might be unattractive, but perhaps due to certain features which can be improved. Change your hair style. Your fashion. Are your teeth straight and white?

    The third possibility is that you are physically unattractive and it is due to facial features beyond your control. If this is the case, I truly feel for you. I would then consider trying to make your life as extraordinary as you can on your own.

    The good news is the third possibility is the least likely.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not doomed, beauty is relative therefore there are always chances. And about high standards, you're still young, our standards may change as we get older.

    2|0
    0|0
    • I don't even have crazy high standards. I just won't date a person unless I find both their personality and looks attractive, but I usually only think people who are out of my league are physically attractive.

    • Show All
    • I'm not afraid of what I'll say. I'm afraid of being seen. It's rare that you see attractive guys falling for unattractive girls. Usually attractive people date other attractive people. That's what intimidates me.

    • You can't avoid being seen. If you talk to someone, this person will see you, it's obvious. If you think that they won't fall for you it's one more reason not to be intimidated since in your mind nothing will happen anyway. Maybe when you stop worrying too much about it something will happen.

      And looks can be worked on. I don't consider myself very attractive today but I was way worse in the past. Getting rid of my body fat helped a lot, for example. All I mean is that you shouldn't give up. Try to improve what can be improved, the rest is just uncertainty, try and error.

  • Yeah pretty much. Unless you get really lucky or make up for your looks in some other way, like money.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Okay it's all about preference
    Oh and you're not open minded cause you think this way :P
    Rest of your qualities might be true though

    0|0
    0|0
    • He has a point about the opened minded thing

    • @teatea111 I guess he does have a point, but this is literally one of the few things I'm stubborn about. I will try almost anything once as long as it won't kill me or harm me or anyone else. I'm usually super fun and up for anything.

  • I was right when I said even ugly women/girls don't wanna date ugly men reverse the gender and everyone would be calling the guy a shallow jerk,

    0|0
    0|0
    • If ths genders were reversed then nothing changes. A guy can't force himself to be attracted to someone he's not into.

    • Tue but people especially women shame him for no giving unattractive women
      a chance.

  • I'm sure there's a hot blind guy out there for you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Ctfu I've literally said that before as a joke to one of my friends.

What Girls Said 8

  • In short, yes
    Of course there's a certain subjectivity to beauty, but by the end of the day dating is kinda like bargaining. Every side tries to get the best for themselves, but you have to be willing to "bargain" to get a deal at all. Most people end up with someone of similar attractiveness, income and education. If you want to date someone who is handsome, rich and educated, then your best bet is to be pretty, rich and educated yourself

    0|0
    0|0
  • Stop worrying about yourself being ugly! If you don't like something about yourself (e. g. your hairstyle) then change it. I personally don't find myself attractive either, although I am (relatively) pretty.

    You are not even 18 yet! A lot of things, opinions and takes on attractiveness will change only after school. Attractiveness is not always defined through (socially accepted) beauty.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think its great to have high standards. But at the same time u get what u put out sometimes. So if you are "unattractive" then attractive people might not go for u. This dosent mean all but the vast majority. For example, if I'm very successful I'm not going to go out with someone who never finished high school. So having high standards is great but I'd do what I can to better myself

    0|0
    0|0
    • I know. I try so hard and my friends always tell me that I just don't try at all. I try to make sure my hair is presentable, I wear minimal make up just some foundation and maybe mascara, I try to dress well, and no one ever notices all the effort. My looks matter a lot to me and it sucks because no matter what I do I always look exactly the same.

    • Show All
    • Awe thank you.

  • That's pretty much me and yes, it seems like it

    0|0
    0|0
  • What if you're not really ugly? Like maybe just in your own eyes you think this way.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I've asked myself that a billion times. But it seems that it's true. The only guys that I attract are the ones that are also unattractive, or crazy, or total assholes that just want easy sex. Everytime an attractive guy talks to me it always ends badly. I got asked to prom twice by two attractive guys and stood up by both guys (junior and senior prom). A guy asked me on a date once and never showed up. People treat me like a joke.

    • Show All
    • I know personality matters too, but I can't force myself to be attracted to someone no matter how great his personality, just like guys can't force themselves to be attracted to me even if they do like my personality. Personality does count, but so do looks. I always try to give everyone a chance but most guys around where I live are either attractive and an asshole, or unattractive, but nice but also incredibly weird. Good personality and good looks seem to be mutually exclusive around here.

    • I think you'll find someone. You're young LOL

  • Technically Its all subjective. And Giving a sht if ur naturally ugly won't help. Form whatever opinion u want on ur body and let everyone else form their own.

    0|0
    0|0
    • And by the way if those characteristics are what ugly is, then im ugly af aswell.

  • Would you date a short guy?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yea.

    • He has a cute face but he's shorter then you. He can only reach your chin

      Still date?

    • Yea still

  • My friend seems to be having the same problem. I wouldn't call her ugly, but she has extremely high standards and keeps telling me how to person she has to date has to be "tall, and a brunette, and muscled, and foreign, like Swedish, and kind but kind of an asshole as well".
    I'd say you'll end up just fine. One day there's gonna be a guy that you find attractive and that finds you attractive.

    0|0
    0|0
    • My standards aren't even as high as your friend's. He doesn't have to be super tall, I don't care what color his hair is, he doesn't need to be super muscled, or foreign, and he just needs to be genuinely a good guy, not super clingy, and also not crazy (I've met some crazy guys).

    • Then you should have no problem finding a guy that finds you attractive and that you find attractive

Loading...