Great first date but never reach a 2nd date? Any advice?

Okay so I've been on a date with 4 different guys from different online dating sites. We've talked for a few weeks to 3 months (varies between the guys). Now they're saying how i'm the perfect woman and the full package etc. and they cannot get enough of me before the first date. They'll talk to me until 4am etc. and they've seen me on Skype and we've talked for similar lengths of time.

I'm athletic and only 5,2. I'm sweet, girly and a little cheeky with them on the dates. I always make sure I look and smell good, and they always text me afterwards saying they had a great time. I tell jokes, I let them take the lead and I always make an effort. I get plenty of attention from other men while I'm on the date but my attention is always focused on the guy I'm with.

However things are always different after our first date. They become more reserved, less flirty and don't seem as interested the next day. This has happened 4 times in a row now and I seriously have no clue what I'm doing wrong! Any advice? Guys an insight into why you do this after a great first date would be fantastic!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honest question, are you putting out? I have find that I lose interest quickly if the girl puts out quickly.

    From what you describe it sounds like you'd be amazing to date... I can't imagine why they wouldn't want more.

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    • 3mo

      Many guys are the opposite. No sex, no next date. Especially if they've been chatting online a lot and the girl puts out all the right vibes.

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    • 3mo

      Good! Sounds like you have good boundaries. The fact that it has happened multiple times suggests that you're the common factor, however, it might be as simple as your taste in guys sucks. It's really hard to guess.

    • 3mo

      Thanks for the vote. =) Any further luck?

Most Helpful Girl

  • I believe the problem has to do with the kind of men you are attracting and dating. You seem to be dating the wrong kind of men. Because a guy that is very much interested in you is not going to care how awkward or the amount attention you get from other guys. As long as the attention is only between you and him, other guys shouldn't have to matter. It sounds like to me, either these guys is just looking for sex, or they aren't as confident in dating you any further because they feel intimated by other men.

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What Guys Said 3

  • >> Guys an insight into why you do this after a great first date would be fantastic!

    For me it'd be if the date wasn't actually so great. It's hard to deduce from the lack of details here. Generally what I'm looking for on the first date is like a guaranteed score, generally at least a bit of touching and at least a kiss and strong signs that the girl really likes me back. If so, and I like her back just as much, I'm excited to keep dating. If not, I usually move on to the next one.

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    • 3mo

      In my case at least, I tend to judge dates most by physical chemistry. What we say to each other isn't quite as relevant as how much we want to touch each other.

  • What you think of as "being cheeky" may not come across the way you think it does. And getting "plenty of attention from other men" while you're on a date? Not good. Bottom line: If it has happened 4 times in a row, the problem-whatever it may be-is with you and not them.

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    • 3mo

      I was wearing a day dress and my hair curled. I'm starting to think that it's definitely something I'm doing wrong after 4 in a row :/ And the attention is something I can't really avoid unless I wear a moo moo. It was a classy dress. Is any attention really offputting to a guy?

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    • 3mo

      She didn't say hit on, you're putting words in her mouth. Like I said, if you're insecure to the point that the girl you're with getting attention bothers you, you need to grow up. There's no two ways about it.

    • 3mo

      @ProbablyTooMature -- Okay, whatever, cuck. Now I suppose you'll start some internet tough guy shit.

  • I feel your cheekiness is coming of as bitchiness, and these guys are turned off.

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What Girls Said 2

  • why dont you ask them? Dating is like a job interview... u would get feedback from a job you didn't get, do the same for dating!

    Are you nervous on your date? Do you drink alcohol etc? Do you offer to pay?

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    • 3mo

      A little nervous at first but that quickly fades, I don't drink alcohol on the dates, I always pay for my half etc. :/ One guy thought I wanted to move quicker than he did but I don't understand that because I'm not coming across as overeager to be with them.

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    • 3mo

      @ProbablyTooMature I am so full of banter you would say on the date 'omg woan do you never shut up?' instead :-D

    • 3mo

      Sounds like a challenge. ;-)

      But honestly, I love talkative women. Listening is much more my specialty than talking. And engaging in playful banter is so mentally stimulating.

  • You can't explain chemistry unfortunately. I don't think it's anytbing you're doing wrong. It just wasn't the right match

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