Ex boyfriend dumped me a month ago, I texted him today and he told me to fu*k off 😣help?

My boyfriend of 6 years dumped me a month ago. And he said ' it's over go find something productive to do with your life now' I never texted him for the month or did I see him. I have been very heartbroken over him and I miss him so much. Today I lost my will power and texted him ( I know silly me) I said 'can I see you ' he said why? I said ' I need closure maybe, I just miss you so much it's hurting me. He replied and was like ' well why? You just complained about me while you where with me" I never did complain. Me and him just had fights over things that would annoye me for example. He did more things with his female friends then me, he never let me meet her etc. So obviously I felt like I needed to say something about the situation to him. I loved him and put up with so much. I only ever wanted him. I said back to him ' I wasn't complaining we just had fights obviously certain things that you did I wasn't happy about but I never wanted us to end.' He wrote back " YEAH IT'S ALWAYS MY FAULT ISN'T IT! YOUR LITTLE MISS PERFECT! FU*K OFF AWAY FROM ME. I am crushed. And I feel so stupid should I take that as my closure? I feel so down now. Any advice? Thank yous x

Updates:
Hi. He texted me last night and we sent a few shorts texts to each other. I asked him should I move on and try let go of him. I asked also Is there no hope at all for us. He just wrote back saying 'my life has been a piece of cake since you haven't been around, I've been working and getting on with things you bring absolute sh*t to my life'
It really just hurt me. The day before he dumped me he told me how happy I make him and he loves me. I never replied. And never going to

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Most Helpful Guy

  • do you need closure or are you simply not over him yet?

    i think you got closure at the time of the break up. what you really want is to see him and feel that great feeling you had while you were with him.

    six years is a long time and it's going to take a long time to get over it. but you'll probably have to do it entirely without contacting him... so just put him in your past. yes you are going to have very tough days. when you feel that way remind yourself of the negative aspects of the relationship and then try and find distractions (hobbies, friends, family, activities, etc)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm, I can't say if he's with someone new or if he is just that upset about the past. But either way, just leave him to rot in his anger. :) If you choose to respond, which I don't recommend since his words might crush you, just say something like "We were together for six years, and I thought I couldn't get over what you did to me. But now I'm seeing you for who you are, and I'm going to be PERFECT without you." Then block his number. Go do something fun. And upload a good photo of you having fun with friends on facebook/social media.

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    • Thank you for your reply ☺ I will have to just accept this and try move forward. I don't think I will bother to reply I feel stupid for telling him I miss and love him. I just get it thrown back in my face. Enough. Enough now.
      Thank you ! X

    • Wishing you the best!

What Guys Said 12

  • My advice is to flip the tables treatment wise to see how much you shouldn't desire being with him.
    Going away to spain and hanging out with a girl he conceals from you etc and you never uttered the words fuck off while he utters such hateful words over such simple matters. Imagine what he would do if you had traveled for a month and you hang out with guys that you refuse to introduce.
    The balance of affection and treatment is way off in this relationship. Feel good that you got out of it, because you did not lose a man who meets you halfway (on all levels)
    Keep this in mind and you will never crumble again.
    Then slowly move on and find yourself a man who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
    Best of luck and keep your chin up.

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    • Thank you for you reply. Right now I just feel so down. And I no I shouldn't because how he treated me in the relationship and even now while we are broken up telling me to 'fu*k off' I feel stupid now for telling him how much I love and miss him. I just crumbled today. The past month has been awful. I miss the good him. When he was sweet and caring. I guess I'll have to just try now and move forward. I'm 22 he's 23. Maybe he's just not grown up enough yet. He didn't have to be so mean to me. I though if I texted him he might have missed me also. But it made it worse. He was my best friend. How did this all happen? It's so upsetting. Thank you again for your help

  • >>>> You just complained about me while you where with me" I never did complain. Me and him just had fights over things that would annoye me for example

    So you DID complain about basic standard things that shouldn't even have bothered you. I guess he really does resent you for the unnecessary drama.

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  • Sounds like you were being too possessive.
    He just wanted to hang out with his friends and you kept pushing on meeting them.
    Maybe he just wanted to have fun with his friends and you being there would mess up the dynamic of the relationship with those friends.

    You were being too jealous and controlling. I can see why he broke up with you.

    The general rule to follow after a break up is to delete the person's number and move on.

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  • There is probably a reason but honestly it's time to move on. You can't force someone to talk to you.

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    • "reason" not meaning it's your fault. They guy could be going through a hard time or he could just be a prick.

    • Very true. But even when we were together he would lash out and tell me off and tell me to go away etc. Wouldn't talk to me for days. I am so upset but I no deep down I should feel happy and free from it all. But I can't help but think of him.

  • There seems to be a chance for you two. When you texted him, he seemingly hoped for you to not complain at him anymore. But you still did. So if you REALLY want to be with him again, STOP complaining about things he does wrong, but start to be more patient with him. Then you will fight less and love each other more.

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  • I just got out of a 6 month and she was all wanting to be friends after etc. (She broke with me fyi). And then she just disappeared.
    I'm a little taken back by it all and we squabbled too but still.
    Best thing to do is look the other way and keep moving. Go out on a few dates etc

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    • Sorry to hear about your breakup! I wish you the best.
      Yeah I guess I have to just take this on the chin and try cheer up and move on. It will be hard but I'll eventually. Thanks for your help x

  • Sounds like he got tired of being blamed for your guys issues. Not introducing you to his girl friends wasn't considerate of him though.

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  • There is one thing about woman that everyone dislikes and that is complaining,
    I mean they can't stop complaining no matter what you do to make her happier, ultimately man realizes He was good with out. If you are that type of woman everyone will do this to you.

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    • I never actually complained. I let him away with murder. I loved him so much. We had fights yes, but we always sorted them out. Well, I did. He never apologised for anything. But I just wanted us to go back and be happy so I forgave him for everything. I though maybe if I texted him he might have missed me also. But even when we were together he would tell me to 'fu*k off' so I'm not actually shocked. I'm just a bit upset and feel stupid. I told him I missed him 😕 and I got that back. It was like he twisted everything

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    • I am sorry for hurting you with my complaining comment up there.

    • I know, he isn't bothered at all about me. So maybe I should just take what he said on the chin and it can be my closure maybe. Thanks for the help! ☺

  • I feel like im only getting half the story (because i am) so its hard for me to say anything
    I wouldnjust try and move on if i were you

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    • "I feel like im only getting half the story (because i am)"

      Wise words

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    • @cavmanier i am wise beyond my years 😎

    • Op move on he sounds like a dick

  • It's over. Time to move on.

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  • Its funny how the retarded betchs bellow put all the blame on the poor dude , he didn't dump you for no reason eaither you cheated on him or you did something terrible move on he's with a better girl you don't deserve him.

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    • I never ever cheated on him. I'm not even going to explain myself to you actually.

    • Lol who said we need your explanation don't waste our time instead try to learn speaking the truth.

  • Well the sad truth is, he left you because he is ''bored'' of you for that year. I mean he got bored to be with the same person for years, and doesn't want to stick to it anymore, he wants to hangout with diffrent girls and he wants to have something new and make him excited u got what I mean? I dont see much chance of you guys coming back together, cause of the reason I said he is ''bored'' and wants to get new girls.

    Well you must get used to it, might be hard in the beginning ( it was hard for me aswell when my ex left me ) but u will get used to it, I dont know how you gonna do it but it will be solved like any other people solved. You will find better guys. There are billions of guys all around the world, just dont worry.

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What Girls Said 11

  • That is a really extreme reaction. He's acting like you cheated on him or something. Don't feel stupid, he's just emotionally unstable and being an ass. I'd say you dodged a bullet. You really don't want to be with someone like that.

    I suggest you don't contact him again, though. Block and delete his number, unfriend on FB/Insta/other social media so you aren't tempted, and work on moving on with your life. There are better guys out there.

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    • Thanks for your help! Yeah girl it's crazy
      He acted like I did something. All I ever did was love him. I cared way to much, I'm just a bit upset now because of what he said back. I feel so stupid😕 I guess I should take that as my closure. X

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    • Yup. Exactly what Stardust says. She knows her stuff.

  • Wow spending time with other chick on your anniversary.. that's messed up... he was done he was looking for a reason to break up with you it was just time... the lack of consideration for your feelings etc why did you put up with it for so long? Your probably not going to get closure

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    • I don't no why I did. My family and friends kept saying how stupid I was. And I was. I just loved him. I though he might have changed. I though maybe if I stay he will realise what he was doing. I don't no. I just kept holding on. When he was nice he was nice to me. I no I won't get closure. That was probably it. I'll have to just accept it. I no I should feel free from him but this saddness keeps over coming me

    • It takes time , maybe hang with friends family, go do a hobby, paint therapy

  • Hun, you and I have much in common. No, you don't have to take that as your closure unless you want too. Of course that's a f*ed up closure... I could tell you bout my relationship but that's another book... mine loves to tell me to f off especially by text. Texting probably shouldn't have been the way to approach him after a month. I'm not sure your age but I so wish texting was not around... when it wasn't people had to talk and to me something about hearing ones voice is so much better... you can't really hide your feelings because your tone can tell all... whose to say he could have been crying when said f off... but unfortunately you won't be able to know now. Give it over the weekend. See if he tries to contact you. He may reread the text and hear his meanness... and if he does not CALL him next week NOT TEXT if you feel you still need "closure" but during this time think or write down what you would take from him that you could consider closure or do you just really hope that y'all could possible rekindle the flame?

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    • Thank you for your reply. It's just so upsetting. I was strong by not texting him for the month, but I crumbled. I just miss him so much. I no he was mean and nasty to me in the relationship but I miss the good times. I miss him when he was sweet to me. I wasn't expecting him to say fu*k off to me after I say I miss you to him. He just twisted my words. Xx

    • Unfortunately that's a man for you. Trust me they don't grow up with age either.

  • It's over.. just accept that. I wouldn't try to text him or anything for closure because I doubt you'll get it. He seems a tad bit hurt as well and needs to heal. Let both of you heal and find other people

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  • OMG it's an asshole, how dare he talk to you this way after 6 long years of relationship? If i were you, I'd get some chocolate, do some shopping and try to move on, life goes on honey and I'm pretty sure you'd be happier if you forget about that bloody disrespectful dumper.

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    • I know, and I know how he talked to me when we were together was terrible. I just loved him and loved when he was nice and sweet with me. I feel so stupid now texting him and telling him I miss him and how much I love him. I knew he would send something smart back. And he twisted my words. I feel so lonely but I no in the long run I will be okay. Just now I feel like absolute crap. I cared way to much. Maybe he didn't care as much as I did. It's something I think I'll carry with me for the rest of my life but I'm sure it will get easier 😕 thank u for your reply and help x

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    • Your reply just broke my heart, I wanna help you but I can't :( If you think he's not interested anymore, maybe it's time to move on, I know how hard it s to realise that it's time to let go but for your own heath, try to live your life, start over again and avoid thinking about him, it's been a mouth now, a cheater doesn't deserve so much love from such a sweet person like you (sorry for my English i'm not a native speaker) my advice is, live your life rajaXx, live and let negative things behind, everything will become better, you will meet new people, you will live new things and I'm pretty sure you'll fall in love with a super nice guy all over again <3 look at you, you're young and i'm sure you're beautiful ! stay positive, things will get better

    • Your reply is amazing. Thank you so much. ❤one day I'll be okay again. I hop so. I guess I have to learn and just accept this

  • Maybe that's all the closure you can get?
    You dodged a bullet. Or maybe got shot, then dodged a second one? I don't know, I'm bad with metaphors. Anyway, he sounds bitter, and angry, and you're better off without him. What happened sucks, but by the sound of it, he isn't worth you being crushed over.

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    • That moment when you read the opinion posted before yours, and it looks like you copied a line about bullet dodging, but you didn't.

  • Obviously he didn't want to talk to you bc he never texted you and also he broke up with you. 6 years is a long time... and you aren't very old. He probably wanted to be his own person for once. For the past 6 years he's done nothing but be with you.. that's a lot at that age. Just accept the fact that he's moved on..

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  • I think he's proyally seeing his so called "friend"
    And trying to project blame on you

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  • He acts like you killed his best friend for Gods sake! Girl find someone else, someone without anger issues or secretive. If a guy won't introduce you to his new girl pals that maybe be because he is cheating with her. He seems uncaring and then makes you feel bad for speaking your mind. he's toxic and emotinally abusive. Dont talk to him again he is clearly nuts and not worth anyones time.

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    • I know, and I know how he talked to me when we were together was terrible. I just loved him and loved when he was nice and sweet with me. I feel so stupid now texting him and telling him I miss him and how much I love him. I knew he would send something smart back. And he twisted my words. I feel so lonely but I no in the long run I will be okay. Just now I feel like absolute crap. I cared way to much. Maybe he didn't care as much as I did. It's something I think I'll carry with me for the rest of my life but I'm sure it will get easier thank u for your reply and help x

    • I've dated someone who was similar, is so sweet then bam acts so rude, twists words and made me feel like trash and unimportant. There are decent human beings out there though. You are welcome. Good luck!

  • Yea that girl friend he wouldn't let you meet was his girlfriend, he's probably with her now and not cheating anymore. Move on.

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  • Why would you even try to get in touch?

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    • I just really missed him. And I though maybe if I texted him he might have wanted me back or missed me. He twisted everything I was saying. I never blamed him or said anything bad to him. I feel worse that he told me to fu*k off 😕

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