Why would a guy not give an exact plan for a date beforehand and decide the day of?

Started dating a guy who asked me to go on a date on a Sunday and then said we'll figure the exact time and place later. So Saturday comes and he doesn't even talk about our date being the next day and then Sunday comes and he texts me and says are we still hanging out today and then makes plans the day of the planned date. Is this a red flag? why didn't he make these plans days before? :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not a red flag yet, but I would have expected a bit more initiative from a guy in your age range. He's just not used to planning dates and he's probably worried that you might not like the plans he has made. If you like him, then tell him that you are a lot more comfortable if he will plan ahead instead of waiting.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • why dint you tell him its not acceptable. or make the plans yourself?

    if you're not ok with him actin like your time doesn't matter an you're at his beck and call you have to let him know bc hell just think is ok then be shocked when it gets too much and you finally tell him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe he'd rather it be relaxing and not get all worked up about it. Would they *need* to be planned out days before?

    I think if you found it to be a red flag then that would be a red flag for me.

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    • 3mo

      so you're ok with a woman inning where she feels like and letting you know lats minute mean while expecting you to wait keeping your schedule clear? thats 'relaxing' to you?

    • 3mo

      @AriadneSky If I wanted to do something else on that day then I'd push to set a specific time and place, or I'd just say I'm doing this or that on that day so our thing will have to come later or earlier.

      If you've got other stuff to do then you're the dingus for not setting it up better. If he's got nothing planned expect hanging with you then he's taking a relaxed approach and can afford to. Don't say yes to everything and go along with it and then not take responsibility for stressing about your schedule.

      So it's relaxed for the person suggesting it and potentially relaxed for the person being asked, and if it's not then say something like a sensible person and hammer out a time that works.

    • 3mo

      i wouldn't just go along with it if i wasn't ok with it. id make a plan for us or tell him im not available if i wasn't. I just wanted to know how far your idea of relaxed extended.

      i do think its a waste of time leaving things in such a way where you have to reschedule just bc a person can't be bothered to make a plan.

      its usually down to if you really want to hang out and if you respect peoples time. but as long as you wouldn't hold it against her if her schedule doesn't allow for last minute dates then its ok.

      for mew i dont care about 'what' im doing i just came about when it is bc i have to keep things organized so i can get everything done.

What Girls Said 2

  • Some guys just like to be spontaneous, and fear that after all the planning and not have that plan push through will just be a big disappointment. At least he remembered and is still asking if you both will push through.

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  • A guy did this before, I see it as rude and disrespectful because I was obviously his last minute plans but he says that it was spontaneous.
    Just tell him you don't like it

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