Girls, I think my girlfriend is in love with my friend? How does this situation strike you?

So, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years and she is the love of my life, I can't picture my life without her. but recently she has been hanging around with my best friend a lot, she went away for a week to his house (he lives in another town) that she's back he is staying at her house even when I leave... and when I am around neither of them really talk to me, they sing and talk to each other, am I just being paranoid or does this seem wrong to anyone else?

Updates:
3mo 1.) Put my arm around her and/or hug on her and/or kis in front of him to see how she or he reacts.

2.) Pay attention to where she sits and who she sits next to or closer.

3.) Notice who she walks side-by-side with.

4.) Try injecting myself into one of their conversations and see how they answer me. (Fast or well thought out.)

5) Try starting a random subject, and wait to see if and when and how long they take to add to it or not

6.) Make a surprise visit to see if they're at the same house
3mo Hey everyone I just called my Girlfriend over to my house a couple of hours ago and had a sit down talk to her and as much as it kills me to admit this on the internet. a heart crushing bomb was dropped on me... she started losing interest in our relation for some time. She thinks that the sparks between us has just burned out. She admitted that she should have been upfront about it but she didn't know how to go about it w/o hurting me. But it's too late I feel betrayed by them BOTH:-(

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is tough, it's like being a third wheel. Let me start by saying that I'm a girl and know many girls who act like this. Girls tend to betray those who are supposedly important to them, this is because of their ever changing mind sets. However, do bear in mind that both boys and girls do this, though more girls do it than boys. Yes, I do feel like something is wrong, your best friend and girl friend can't ignore you! I know a girl who has a tremendous crush on my boyfriend, they are good friends and like to talk to one another. Sometimes I feel that my boyfriend is closer to this girl than to me. But when we're alone together, I feel like our relationship is stronger than his relationship with this girl (they are just mutual friends anyway). What I'm trying to say is when you have some time with her, just the two of you, observe her carefully. Does she treat you the same way as he treats your friend? Is there love in her eyes? Does it feel right for her when it's just the two of you? Observe. I'm not saying to let her go if it doesn't feel right, I know how hard that is. Just follow what you think is the right solution, it's not always going to be easy. I hope I was of some help.

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What Girls Said 20

  • I believe it would be best to just let her go. She's using you to remain in a relationship with because she doesn't want to be alone. But meanwhile she is interested in your friend, wither its just for sex or a serious relationship. I wouldn't even trust with the fact that she had stayed over at your friends house for a week, and there is nobody else there with them. You have the right to ask them, but not confront in an angry way or they will lie quicker than you can see. Its very obvious she is not interested in you like that anymore. Either out of boredom or temptation.

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  • That's very wrong. Why would she want to stay at his for a week? And as your best friend he should be more concideratd

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  • There is definitely something wrong with that picture. First of all your best friend shouldn't be taking to your girlfriend without you being around. They shouldn't be staying at each others houses. You need to sit down and have a talk with your best friend and your girlfriend because that is not acceptable at al. You have every right to question that. What if the roles were switched. Your girlfriend would be very upset. And if she doesn't understand then you may need to consider breaking up with her because most likely, you would end up hur.

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    • 3mo

      Someone told me to observe few things FROM NOW ON the next time all three of us are hanging out.

      1.) Put my arm around her and/or hug on her and/or kis in front of him to see how she or he reacts.

      2.) Pay attention to where she sits and who she sits next to or closer.

      3.) Notice who she walks side-by-side with.

      4.) Try injecting myself into one of their conversations and see how they answer me. (Fast or well thought out.)

      5) Try starting a random subject, and wait to see if and when and how long they take to add to it or not.

      6.) Ask ONE of them to hang out with me and see if they either mention including the other, or just brings the other along by surprise.

      Maybe I should try these things?

    • 3mo

      Hey everyone I just called my Girlfriend over to my house a couple of hours ago and had a sit down talk to her and as much as it kills me to admit this on the internet. a heart crushing bomb was dropped on me... she started losing interest in our relation for some time. She thinks that the sparks between us has just burned out. She admitted that she should have been upfront about it but she didn't know how to go about it w/o hurting me. But it's too late I feel betrayed by them BOTH:-(

  • Yeah definitely a no no on their part. You shouldn't put up with that. She's going to his house for week & then when u hangout with them they ignore you, what jerks. You deserve a lot better than that! :) As your girlfriend & your bestfriend they should know better than to hurt u like that & disrespect you. No best friends & girlfriend should be hanging out without their significant other present. You should definitely call them on it & leave both of them alone.

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    • 3mo

      How should I call them out on it what do I say?

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    • 2mo

      Oh thank you. I just thought you meant as in assault lol!!

    • 2mo

      Your welcome and ohh no lol i didn't mean that, Im glad you had me clarify. :)

  • WAT? Dude, how in the world could you allow her to stay at his house and vice versa? NIGGA SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN. Your girl's a thot, your best friend's Mr. StealYourGirl, and you deserve better. Naaaah I wouldn't put up with that shit.

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    • 3mo

      What would you have done?

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    • 3mo

      XD Sorry I just hate cheaters, you deserve much better man. And you and me both, people are pretty shitty.

    • 3mo

      Hey everyone I just called my Girlfriend over to my house a couple of hours ago and had a sit down talk to her and as much as it kills me to admit this on the internet. a heart crushing bomb was dropped on me... she started losing interest in our relation for some time. She thinks that the sparks between us has just burned out. She admitted that she should have been upfront about it but she didn't know how to go about it w/o hurting me. But it's too late I feel betrayed by them BOTH:-(

  • It sounds like something is going on. You could ask her. I hope this feeling is wrong.

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    • 3mo

      How should I approach her?

    • 3mo

      Just ask her. Tell her you have noticed that she spends lots of time with your friend, and ask if you should worry about it. You could tell if she's lying from her reaction.

  • Just dump her ass clearly she either cheating or a selfish jerk. Besides you can get over 3 years it wasn't like 25 years.

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  • They are fucking

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    • 3mo

      Why do you think that?

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    • 3mo

      @NatashaJ Not permanent but I getyou though.

    • 3mo

      Because it is so obvious don't blind yourself to what you already know

  • Wait, why the hell would you stay the night at another guys house? I feel like that's cheating in itself. Confront her directly

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  • Eh, I think that seems wrong and that you should talk to your girlfriend and tell her that you feel uncomfortable and maybe even cut ties with the friend if you have too
    I wouldn't be surprised if they were sleeping behind your back

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  • I can see why you're jealous... have you spoken to her about this?

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  • How are you okay with letting them stay at each other's places alone lol

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    • 3mo

      Since they're my friends you should e able to trust them.

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    • 3mo

      @bbch25 you lost me with the movie part.

    • 3mo

      Tell them you saw a movie where a guy's best friend and girlfriend started to fall in love and how the boyfriend wasn't sure how to act, and make up a story, to get their opinions on the topic. Reverse the genders if you want.

      It could be a big question, but if they're cheating and act suspicious of you well they're the ones doing something wrong etc.

      I don't know, was just another way of going about the topic.

  • Yep... they're screwing around behind your back..

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    • 3mo

      Should I just fight him

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    • 3mo

      I just wonder who initiated it?

    • 3mo

      It was probably mutual..

  • Yeah, that's not good. I don't know how your best friend can be comfortable to let your girlfriend stay with him, when he can clear see you love her to bits. :/

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  • Confront them both. And tell them what they are doing you know about it. There is no reason for her to be staying at his place and as your friend he should've shut that down when the idea came up and he could've stayed at your place. Tell them your not dump and you want nothing to do with neither one of them anymore. She is not the love of your life and he is not a real friend because this would not be going on and you wouldn't have to question anything when its real. They feel they can do it and probably keep getting away with it because how much you love her.

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    • 3mo

      Ok good advice. I'm thinking about beating him

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    • 3mo

      *mad*

    • 3mo

      I understand. It will take awhile but you will get through it and you will fill like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Just occupy your time so you won't think about it to help you move on a little bit faster.

  • They are fucking each other. Sorry, bro : (

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    • 3mo

      How would you respond? ?

  • Just ask her and if she hesitates or tries to change the subject then you got your answer.

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  • Yeah your time with her is limited

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  • First of all, why is she always hanging out with your friend? this seems a little fishy to me and i think she may like your friend. I f i were you, i would talk to both of them and ask why are they so close? It's like your almost invisible to them and your friend shouldn't be hanging out with your girlfriend because a lot's of things could happen when they're together. I don't think you're being paranoid, you just need to be honest with both of them and tell them that you're not comfortable with that kind of behavior.

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    • 3mo

      I was think about trying those suggestions that a mutual friend suggested above and below your post, what you think?

    • 3mo

      I think you should because as her boyfriend, you deserve the right to know what's going on and why she's acting like that.

  • That's definitely not right.

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    • 3mo


      Someone told me to observe few things FROM NOW ON the next time all three of us are hanging out.

      1.) Put my arm around her and/or hug on her and/or kis in front of him to see how she or he reacts.

      2.) Pay attention to where she sits and who she sits next to or closer.

      3.) Notice who she walks side-by-side with.

      4.) Try injecting myself into one of their conversations and see how they answer me. (Fast or well thought out.)

      5) Try starting a random subject, and wait to see if and when and how long they take to add to it or not.

      6.) Ask ONE of them to hang out with me and see if they either mention including the other, or just brings the other along by surprise.

      Maybe I should try these things?

    • 3mo

      You should. But what's happened so far isn't right either.

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