Should rich men date only rich women?

That way we can avoid the unnecessary guessing game of whether the other person wants us only for our money. My family is wealthy. I'm not boasting but we are wealthy.
My brother is dating a middle class girl that my mother and I do not approve of. We can clearly see that she's a gold digger. He left his high school sweetheart who is also from a wealthy family to be with this middle class girl. His ex is still in love with him. She'd make a great addition to our family and I would be happy to her as my sister in law.
My brother just does not understand.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The trend nowadays is that people marry within their socioeconomic demographic, with the exception of many athletes who make stupid money at a young age. I imagine it does depend on how you made your money as well. Doctors are more likely to marry doctors, contrary to what athletes do.

    If you were born into wealth and didn't attain it by overcoming a lesser situation through proper education, you probably haven't built the proxies to know the best ways to preserve that wealth, other than assuming normal people are gold diggers and building a moat.

    She might be a gold digger, she might not be. It isn't obvious.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's better usually.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Not if they are smart...

    1) Most notable wealthy women are rich only because they divorced a rich man or inherited his wealth after he died. They were nothing before they stole from a man. They did it once and got away with it, so they will likely repeat it.

    2) The majority of the women that make it on their own become consumed with their career, power, and fame and none of those are good for one on one relationships.

    3) Girls that grow up upper middle class or higher tend to be spoiled. Many times their families are always working, which leaves them devoid of quality time. They become manipulative and try to guilt trip their fathers which leads to materialistic buy offs. They become trained that love is money and gifts not human connection.

    4) Girls that come from nothing learned to make due with what they've always had. They can enjoy the simple stuff. If they have a good relationship with their family, then family comes first and they will always be their to help the ones they love when they are needed, quality time rules, and human contact and warmth is what gets you through the hard times.

    Rich girls suck...

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    • 3mo

      Clearly a bitter middle class male speaking

    • 3mo

      Nope, a guy who grew up around multi-millionaires, went to school with them, met their families, dated a number of them, and sadly am still living among them. I need to move.

  • Rich men, as any men or any women decide who they shall date themselves. It might be smarter for them to marry rich women, but I know rich people do look good usually because they tend to pick the best looking from poorer classes. In any way, your brother will have his own part of the wealth and what he does with it is his business. You might care about him being used and that's another point. If he is, you can try proving him or convincing but I doubt he'll appreciate that intrusion, no matter how much you may wwant to help him see the truth. You warned him, right? You did your sibling job. What he makes out of it is his business, I understand you care but you're not the one picking up the bride. Perhaps he'll dump her as he did with the other one. GFs rarely become wives anyway, the relationship is rarely serious and ongoing enough. And, you might also be wrong about her using him. You hopefully are...

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  • Actually, that is mostly what happens. Not that an rich guys go slumming, in real life.

    But there are LOADS o US women who sleep with the boss, and/or f who wiill hang out exclusivel ywith their gay friends on the off chance one of these guys will look their way

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  • I think your brother is putting aside the money and seeking out what makes him happy.

    Socio-economic BS just means the two wealthy people squabble over expensive toys when they divorce.

    Perhaps the more wealthy girl is a prude and is boring as hell?

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  • It doesn't matter whether a rich man dates rich women or poor women. He is responsible how he shows off. If he shows off to attract mostly gold diggers, then he's at fault and deserves that kind of lesson.

    Whereas rich women have the same rights, although it isn't as likely as for rich men to get any man they want via wealth as men care more about their youth/beauty/personalities.

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  • Don't you be telling me who I can and cannot date... wait a minute... I just sold myself out... shit >.<'

    Look I know some friends of mine who have money and married a woman who didn't and they are STILL HAPPILY MARRIED.

    So I say date who you want. ;)

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  • i honestly think, if you´re rich, you won´t find real love anyway... so might as well for rich partners only, that at least won´t like you for yuor money only but limits your dating pool drastically.

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  • how about you leave your brother be and let him date who he wants...

    He doesn't need to understand your point of view. It's his life... so where he's concerned, he's probably thinking "fuck the family name"

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  • That's why pre-nups were made. You won't always find love if you put that restriction on it. Not everyone is a gold digger, but it's best to be protected.

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  • Look how Cinderella turned out...

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  • my successful friends won't date waitresses etc.

    if you're not successful yourself you gotta be very educated at least.

    ID SAY YES SINCE HE IS HER DECISION AWAY FROM LOSING HALF IF SHE didn't HAVE ANYTHING

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    • 3mo

      She is a pre school teacher. Of course she's out for money. If everyone dated on their own level it will be better.

    • 3mo

      more men aren't getting married or livig with their other because law allows women to take half if she wanted to leave for any reason.

      no one talks about this issue

  • Yes, because women love money more than anything.

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  • yes.

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  • All that matters is that men shouldn't get married at all anymore. It is legally and financially stupid to get married anymore, even if you are poor, she can take what little you have.

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  • financial dyspareunia hurts too.

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  • Rich men date who ever the hell they want. They essentially have the same picking and choosing options as hot females.

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  • Well, it might help to protect their assets from a chick looking to clean them out...

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  • Im going to guess that you're also middle class. Upper class live tend to live off old money and land. Many of them have low incomes. Wealth is a poor indicator of social standing.

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  • Why does he like this girl?

    I suspect rich men wouldn't feel great about only being able to date rich women. They'd have much better options playing the full field. And besides, guys as a group care MUCH less about a girl's wealth than girls do about guys' wealth. We're more into hotness, which can come from any socioeconomic class.

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    • 3mo

      Well the girl that he's with isn't even that hot. His ex was much more beautiful and she would make a great wife for him. This girl only wants him for his money, being a female myself I know

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    • 3mo

      I have no idea. Maybe she's good in bed. They are world's apart. He is too good for her.

    • 3mo

      Well, that's where you need to start. You need to understand why he's into her. And yeah--you could be right--she may be talented with pleasing the penis! lol! Don't underestimate the importance of that. Especially if his ex wasn't very good.

  • Your very question shows that your privileged life has left you lacking in real world experience or insight. I pitty you.

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What Girls Said 11

  • People can date whoever they want.

    As long as she is a lovely person and he is happy the fact she is not rich shouldn't matter to you. He does not need his family's approval or permission to date a person. Your thoughts and feelings towards her does not matter. You are just going to push him away. Is that what you want?

    Rich men are the farthest thing from gullible. They know a thing or two about life and they can see right through a gold digger within seconds. Do you think your brother is an unintelligent man, that a pretty face could easily fool him? Because a girl is middle class does not automatically make her goldigger. By your standards then Kate Middleton is the poster girl for goldigggers. You shouldn't be so judgmental, have you even tried to get to know her?

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    • 3mo

      My thoughts and feelings towards her absolutely matters because I'm his sister who always has his best interests at heart, not some stranger. I'm also a female who can spot a gold digger from 5 miles away.

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    • 3mo

      I've already said you're not going to change my mind so I don't understand why you're arguing with me. I don't agree that wealthy families should date middle class people and family's opinion on a dating partner absolutely matters. We have strong family values. You think you're right so good for you. Have a nice day!

    • 3mo

      I'm not trying to get you to change your views. I'm saying you should not push your views on to brother because he is not going to change his. All you are doing is creating a divide between him and yourself.

      Also your family values sound questionable.

  • If you are a reasonably intelligent person you will know if a woman is using you for your money or not. But if your vision is clouded with love/feelings then it's not as easy...

    "Gold diggers" are a particular type of breed. They have severely low self-esteem and take exceptionally good care of their appearance because they think that is who they are. But let's face it, there are also other women who don't even know they are using you for your money - they do it quite subconsciously. These women may delude themselves into thinking they are in love with you when they aren't. They, too, will ultimately resent you for ruining their lives.

    Point is, you want to make sure the woman loves you. How? Don't spend ungodly amounts of money on her while dating and date her for a long time (at least a year) before entering into any kind of "contract" whether it's marriage or otherwise.

    Hope my long-winded response helped. I have experience with this kind of thing.

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    • 3mo

      I need you to be my adviser.

    • 3mo

      @Thrifty I would love to help with anything I can :) I also read other responses advising to date within your "class". I disagree as this is super limiting and you miss out on on a massive amount of women. In addition, women who have struggled financially often learn valuable lessons because of it. Not to say women with money are boring or drab, but people who have struggled and overcome issues seem to have invaluable insight and make for great partners in life.

    • 3mo

      You are so wise. I admire and respect you.

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    • 3mo

      Don't be a gold digger. Not your money

    • 3mo

      😂😂😂😂😂🙄🙄🙄

  • Yo you just asking this to feel better for your shitty attitude towards his new girlfriend if someone agrees with you. You should be ashamed of yourself because I bet this girl didn't do anything to you and you have no idea what their relationship is about.

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    • 3mo

      Plus no one has to impress the judgmental sister who all she does is judge people for no reason.

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    • 3mo

      No I'm trying to protect our family from a gold digger who wants our money.

    • 3mo

      How you know he not willing giving her stuff and doesn't realize he shouldn't had? I had a wealthy boyfriend who did that before. Then has the nerve to accuse me of using him when he was willing giving to me all the time. If you have issues with doing it don't do it. Or here a question do you even talk to her? or you just listening to what your brother says is going on. Not everyone is truthful even family members.

  • your brother can do what he likes
    but as your main goal is protecting finances, the least you can do is convince him to get a rock solid pre-nup. that would be in yours and his best interest.

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  • When it comes to love, money shouldn't matter and how do you know that she's a gold digger? If he is really happy being in a relationship with her, then nobody should try to change that.

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  • Date whoever you like, but don't bitch about it later

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  • what about it I can't find any problem about that thing

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    • 3mo

      Trying to get with rich men only for their money is wrong.

    • 3mo

      yup it's wrong and bad

  • Well I agree that guys shouldn't go for gold-diggers, but are you sure she really is? You could just look down on her because she doesn't have money and you do. You seem like the type that thinks because you're rich, you are better than everybody. You look down on her just because she is a pre-school teacher.

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  • This is a good question.

    Personally, I feel as though it's not really fair to middle class women to be slotted as such, as in that they are below rich men and should not be considered as potential partners.

    I am against this ideology 100%.

    However, if there is a situation in which a girl, middle class or rich, is taking advantage of a guy because he is rich, then she should not get away with it.

    In your question I do sense some bias however. Perhaps you like your brother's ex-girlfriend more, which is understandable. It IS unreasonable for you to expect him to stay with her just because YOU like her more.

    Give it time. It's not like he's going to marry her tomorrow, right? If this girl really is a gold-digger in time her true colours will show and your brother will see it.

    If she is a nice girl, time will also maybe make the two of you on better terms.

    Also maybe the reason your brother likes her is because opposites sometimes attract. Maybe he feels used to living and dating rich people and she's a bit of a change, like a breath of fresh air

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  • Leave your brother alone, he's happy

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