Is it okay to date someone 10 years or more older than you?

I'll be 17 in a week. I haven't had much luck with girls in my area in my age group as most only want money or sex and once they have those from you they ditch, plus they only rejected and humiliated me over and over and I feel I gave them a chance but I'm better off without them cause I won't give them either of those things. So I have been trying teen dating apps, unfortunately I haven't had much luck either with that until yesterday I met a girl who it said was 18 and she's in the military, at first I wasn't too sure cause I've ran into literally 100s of catfish and it's frustrating but I decided to give it a try. We hit off nicely and she's very gorgeous, really nice, I was able to confirm she is in fact not a catfish, she's basically the complete opposite of the girls in my area in terms of personality and beauty. We went on kik to talk more and she told me her real age is 27 and she's been in the service for 8 years, before you ask yes she knows my exact age and she doesn't care. She asked me if I love her as a person and I said yes and she said it back. She's very wonderful but I'm worried how my parents might react about her being 10 years older. by the way I have some friends my age with girlfriends in that age group too. Is it alright to date someone 10 years older?

  • Yes
    46% (11)63% (12)53% (23)Vote
  • No
    54% (13)37% (7)47% (20)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i say no and here's why. I'm almost 17 myself and men 10 years older than me have shown interest in the past. I 100% understand your frustration because i've gone through the same thing in my city. However, you've also gotta understand the strangeness of the situation. She is a grown woman who's been in the military for 8 years. 8 years ago you were 8/9 years old, you were in fourth grade. Honestly I think that you should wait it out and the right girl will come. Online dating is risky and a big mess and believe me when i tell you it's almost never worth it, ESPECIALLY at our age. Enjoy being a teenager. And while the attention of an older, more mature woman probably feels amazing, it also has a very creepy, pedophiley-ish vibe as well. I wouldn't consider dating a guy 2 years younger than me right now personally, so I cannot imagine why a grown woman would be wanting the attention of a teenage boy in high school. And besides, think of all the girls like me who haven't had the best of luck with dating who are waiting for a guy like you to come along and be swept off their feet. Don't count yourself out, you're almost in your prime and it will be a lot easier. Besides, when you talk to a girl my age, kids are a theoretical "maybe 5-10 years down the road" thing. When you talk to women her age, "kids" is a here and now type deal and that's scary to most guys, especially teenagers. Well I hope I helped and I wish you the best of luck.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not at the age you're at. If the genders were reversed, we'd all be unanimously condemning the 27yr old supposedly ex-military man, who conned his way in by pretending to be 18 until he wheedled his way in and gained your trust,, as a sexual predator and a pedo, ensnaring you in his web for a sinister motives. And I don't believe in double standards. That woman's a pedo, just the same as a man who'd done the same thing to a 16yr old girl would be. And it's not alright for her to date you.

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    • 3mo

      I couldn't agree more. 👍

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    • 3mo

      I will value information you've given but I'm going to check a few things first before I run away from this. I want to be sure

    • 3mo

      I've cut all contacts with her

What Girls Said 10

  • It shouldn't be encouraged. You have no idea how very experienced she is as a woman. She is an adult and can prey on your naiveness and insecurities. I'm not saying that she will, because she does indeed sound like a nice person. But you two are caught up with feelings, and feelings will get you both in trouble. It would be wise that you wait until you turn 18 to make such decisions, as I am sure your parents would be appalled and will not agree with it. Let alone let you see her.

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  • Any grown ass adult who goes after high schoolers do so because they have more experience and can manipulate them without them knowing. The main reason someone in their late 20's would date high schooler is because people in their age bracket stay away from them. Don't be tricked.

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    • 3mo

      She's away in the military, what are you suggesting she's trying to suck me into?

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    • 3mo

      If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's a duck.

    • 3mo

      I'm done arguing with you

  • Why was she on a teen dating site and why was she lying about her age? That's not suspicious to you at all?

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    • 3mo

      At first it was, but the site doesn't allow over 18 users but she told me straight up her real age when we started talking.

    • 3mo

      Yeah this is a big red flag.

    • 3mo

      Well, okay. It sounds like this is what you want, especially form how you responded to other people. So, do what you want. I just have a bad feeling about it.

  • I think 17 is too young to date with a big age gap. You'll get manipulated and used. If you're an adult, it's not a big deal.

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    • 3mo

      What are you suggesting she's trying to do?

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    • 3mo

      You're treating it like there are no nice people in this world. I never said I was letting my guard down I am going to just chat and if I catch a red flag I'll use a site that helps detect predators

    • 3mo

      Nice people don't lie about their age to meet teenagers!! She's already a predator. God, don't be so naive.

  • It is alright todat someone older as long as u both r very sure and clear about what is happening. None of u must feel like they r superior to the other, or that they can advantage of the other.

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  • geez! don't start being and bitter and delusional at 17.

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  • no ew old guyz

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  • As long as she isn't hurting you, don't need to ask us for an opinion. If you feel okay about it then it's good enough.

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  • Q: What do you call a gay Ginger?
    A: Flaming.

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    • 3mo

      Wtf is that supposed to mean?

  • You are way too young for her. Also, is it illegal in your country? Why was she lying about her age?

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What Guys Said 7

  • At least wait till you are 18 and out of high school before considering this. As long as both are adults, I see nothing wrong with the ages you decide to date.

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  • Well as soon as you turn 18 you got nothing to worry about until then keep it confidential you don't need tje hassle and if you have deep feelings for this women and so does she i'd say stay with it you got a lot to prove because you're young but hey if you like where things are at right now keep doing what makes you happy and that's being with her for you.

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    • 3mo

      If you are saying wait til I'm 18 for consent, in my state the age of consent is 15 but I'm obviously not looking for sex with her and I don't do nudes and she doesn't either

    • 3mo

      Well then why are you stressin over it bro i you deep feelings for her why is that a problem even if it's legal I've wondered what it would be like to date an older women i'm 20 and alway's wondered what it would be like to date a 30 year old.

  • If it's not illegal, it's okay.

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    • 3mo

      If course it's not illegal

    • 3mo

      So that answers your own question.

    • 3mo

      Some people think it's wrong because the younger one might not be able to provide for the older one cause they might not have finished school or have a job

  • Why not do it dude

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  • yeah its alrigt

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  • It is good to date someone older because they probably want you because they like you, and not trying to use you for money or something like would happen when you get older.
    Just make sure you are doing it because you like her, and not what she can give you.
    Also, wait until you are 18 so she doesn't get in trouble. If you both really care, you will both be able to wait.

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  • Tap it, bro!

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