What are your views of touching during the 'stages' of dating?

In my opinion, since I'm a fairly sociable person, I use touch as a form of affirmation for the other person.

If it's someone I have only met for a few days but I am interested in them, I will go ahead and say I do touch interaction if I ask them out and they say 'yes.' Usually, I commit to lingering touches on forearms/upper arms. Farthest I have gone when I know someone that briefly is when I hug them around their waist (I need to practice NOT doing this, as I do believe this might be coming on too strongly) when we are parting. However, sometimes I do wonder if I do too much of it, because I have been getting mixed results from a person wanting to see me again, to people not responding to calls or text.

After a certain point of time when I know them, I usually start to go into higher levels, including ear caresses, jawline caress, etc. Heighten up the levels of intimacy to let them know the chemistry is alive and well.

I've heard from so many people and their opinions about this. No touching means a person is actually being respectful, or they are just not that into you, or lacking confidence, etc. Too much touching either means they only want to hook-up, or they are really into you, or that's just how they are, etc.

What's your takes on this?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Its best to ask this before the both of you become official. Because one may like sexual touches and advances, and one may not. One may not want that so early. Don't just do it because others say that you should or it means whatever. Talk to THAT person. The one person you are interested in. Not us. Because for me, touching me in that manner is a no-no. Friendly touches fine. Sexually, no. If I asked not to do that, I expect you to respect that decision. If you don't, it's over. I suggest that you take this as an example. Because regardless to how I or everyone else feels. Its about you and that person. Not you, them, us and a whole host of people.

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    • 3mo

      While this is subjective, what do you view as friendly touches?

    • 3mo

      @Asker Friendly touch is like cuddling, holding hands, a wrap around the shoulder. A peck or two, a kiss on the cheek. Things like that. But if your looking to go hot and heavy and start touching someone's butt, thighs, breast , etc, now you are over stepping those boundaries and crossing the line. And for me, I don't want that now matter how far or serious the relationship is, as that will lead to sex. And once again, is a no-no. So if your looking to become official with another girl. Talk about whats comfortable for her, and don't just touch her like that unless she doesn't care. Body language is key as well. If she pulls away, or stops you, that means don't that again.

What Guys Said 1

  • Pretty much what other people have said to you, you need to hold off on the touching in the begining , some girls don't take well to that but of course later on they will want that affection

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    • 3mo

      A clear answer. Thanks. But is it necessary to hold off ALL touching?

      I don't think something as light as a high-five would be constituted as overbearing.

    • 3mo

      Maybe a light hand shake but that's it in the begining , eventually they will warm up to you and allow it more and more

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