So it seems in the world of online dating that if a guy had kids the ladies (most of the time ) don't mind. While on the other had guys seem to mind a lot. Why is that? And also when do you tell them you have kids? I've always been up front about my kids (I have two.. which also seems to be a big deal) and my divorce and that seems to make a few guys very nervous. While a friend of mine also has two yet she dosent tell a guy about how many kids she has until after they have hung out for a while (she has three). So I guess the questions are. A) why do most guys freak if a woman has a kid. yet women are more accepting of it.. B) when do you tell someone you have a kid? And c) why is two the magic number that freaks guys out? *and no I don't just want to go on a single parents dating site.
Most guys your age don't want to have kids yet. Guys who do want to have kids could be afraid you don't want to have more kids. Guys are afraid you won't have time for them. Guys are afraid they'll end up paying for someone else's kids, or even that you're just with them for money and stability.
As a 34 year old man with no kids I might be able to help you with this. It doesn't bother me if a woman has kids however for me I prefer no kids, but that is not a deal breaker. If a guy doesn't have any kids I can see why it might be a turn off that you have kids. First he know your kids will always come first no matter what and that might be a problem because he might not be looking to be 2nd place. If a guy doesn't want to be 2nd place kids is probably a deal breaker. I think you tell them right away. I like when a woman is up front and honest with me.
I personally mind if a woman has kids, only for the simple fact that they don't have any of my genes. How do I know what I'm getting myself into with some other guy's kids? That's why I prefer my own kids (with my wife). And divorce (even without kids) to me is a red flag. I'm not saying that you are horrible at marriage. But when a person is divorced, that can tend to lead to the fact that the person isn't capable or willing to make the marriage work. So, I'd rather not waste time with someone that is questionable with marriage. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I'm just saying that I want a better chance of making the marriage work than less of a chance. As for the magic number thing? I have NO idea what that's about. Maybe some other guy can shed some light on that. That's just how I feel.
Since I have kids, I've never been adverse to dating someone else who has kids. But most guys who don't have kids are probably going to get spooked by the "instant family" thing. Women tend to have a more nurturing relationship towards children. When I have my granddaughter out with me, I notice that women interact with me far more often.
I think because a lot of guys believe they're being suckered into raising someone's kid (s). A lot of guys also have a pride thing, where they don't want to raise anyone's kid but they're own.
I think it is because typically women are more interested in kids in general so they are less likely to mind when a guy has them. I think you should always be up front about the kids you have and not wait because if he cares you are just wasting each other's time.