In early dating, is it OK for the woman to initiate dates?

Do men expect them to or do men expect them to wait for the guy's invite?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's nice if a girl occasionally plans a date. It takes the pressure off for once and it gives me an idea of what she enjoys for a date

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Women keep saying they want equality but when they have a chance to be equal they go back to Victorian times.
    Yes, I believe it's ok to initiate dates. I'm a grown up, I know what I want, and if I feel like asking a man to hang out, I will. If he thinks I'm being too forward, then he's insecure and I probably would be better off without him.

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What Guys Said 18

  • A lot of times women think that it's a good idea to not initiate dates at the beginning of relationships because they don't want to come across as needy, or they want to play a bit hard to get, etc.

    In general though this is not a good idea. Guys have a lot more options nowadays and if a girl never initiates a date, a guy will naturally assume she is not overly interested, which in turn will lead to him losing interest and going after another.

    Me personally, if a girl never initiates a date, I get bored because I naturally assume she is half-heartedly into me.

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  • I like it if the girl calls me and says "I will be free this day during this time. Can you plan something for us?" Then make a general suggestion.
    Example: A relaxed at home thing, a fun engaging at home thing, a physical outdoor thing, travel, or whatever so we don't choose something totally off from what kind of activity you wanted, but we still have options.
    You say when, the guy says what. That's the best.

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    • 3mo

      Great answer, thanks! But what if a girl doesn't initiate any dates at all? Would you take it as a sign she isn't into you? What can a girl do in early dating to make sure the guy knows she's into him without going overboard?

    • 3mo

      At first I usually like to take turns, so if I asked, then it's her turn. Otherwise, I feel like she really isn't into me as much as I am into her and I give up. I'm the kind of person that needs to feel wanted and deeded.
      Same goes for hugs and holding hands. If she never initiates it, I feel unwanted.

  • Yes, she is an equal participant in the proceedings.

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  • Yes, that should be fine.

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  • It is OK to initiate for anyone. The most interested invites. Maybe try to maintain a balance not to be clingy or look uninterested. That's some advice from a 22 YO.

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  • i thought about this when I was asked on a date, can be possible. Especially as the age gets up there, being single long, somethings are less important and we just tend to not bother at all about it.

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  • It's always OK, in my opinion.

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  • Of course it's okay. If you wanna initiate a date, go for it.

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  • i want the girl to initiate everything first, or more, until i know exactly what she wants. to the point where i dont get rejected.

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  • It can go both ways. It's honestly attractive when girls pull the first move

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  • I think at any stage of dating, that it is actually encouraged that women initiate the dates. What brought this question on?

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    • 3mo

      I'm dating this guy and he's much different than the usual guy I date. l so I think the "rules" are a bit different. we've gone out 3 times and he has initiated but I want to show him I am interested and not just wasting his time. I'm thinking he is the type of guy that appreciates a woman initiating, you know?

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    • 3mo

      That the guy is supposed to make all the moves

    • 3mo

      Oh yeah, that... Three words "come hither stare."

  • Only whores do that.

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  • Eventually I expect it. I want to see if you're eager to go out with me too, plus I want to see some of the things you're interested in even if it's your favourite local festival or band.

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  • its not just ok, i expect it. i'm not going to pursue you. i just don't have time for that bullshit

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  • yes it is fine

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  • Yes, it makes it easier for us to know you are interested if you ask us out.

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  • I know the stereotype is that only desperate women do it but that's dumb. Some men are too shy to ask a girl out or oblivious to the fact she likes him...

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  • It's encouraged and ok at ANY point.

    Women being more forward is better. I wrote a question on this unclear vibe from some of them. Can u help me out pls?

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What Girls Said 5

  • Yes, it's okay. There's nothing wrong with the woman making the first move. I think anyone who is interested in someone else should approach, it doesn't matter if they are a man or woman.

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  • Of course its ok :)

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  • its always OK regardless of how far into it etc.

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  • I think it's okay. But you can be subtle by saying something like "hey, let me know if you want to see a movie this week".

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  • Yes it's a free country go ask a guy out

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