Am I being paranoid or is something not right?

I'm using Tindr, not for hooking up, just to meet new people. Date, see if I find any kind of spark with a guy or at the very least make new friends. Anyways, matched with one guy today. He says he's looking for something serious and wants to meet for coffee. I had told him that for me sex and intimacy is something I do when I know that me and the guy are building for a serious relationship. He says he's the same but keeps saying he wants me there at his place today. I tell him tomorrow's not that far away. Anyways. He says he doesn't have patience and that he just wants a real relationship since he hasn't had one in so many years.

When I told him that I was in a similar position, as far as it being awhile since I've been in a serious relationship, he started talking about how we should have met back when I got out of my last relationship. If we had I would be there with him watching movies while he kisses me.

I understand that some people really want a relationship but I dont know... something just doesn't feel right with how he's acting. He makes it sounds like after tomorrow we're going to be in this serious committed relationship... Do you think he's just one of those die hard romantics and I'm being a skeptic or is something off? Like he's just saying all of this to see how far he can get, kind of thing.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Something's wrong here. Listen to your gut on this. Nobody needs to begin a relationship like NOW!

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    • 3mo

      yea my thoughts exactly. I mean I would like to find a guy that I click with but at the same time I've gotten burned enough to know you can't rush into something serious.

    • 3mo

      I'm thinking maybe he wants to hook up because his SO is busy this eve.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I find that a bit off putting how he mentioned he would have been there kissing you, after getting out of your past relationship. Especially if he and you just began talking today.
    Bringing up physical intimacy when you haven't even been out with the person yet, or even got to know them well enough, is always a mini alarm for me. Also, him inviting you over for a coffee at his house, seems like he may be hoping of something more than just a date.

    I'm cautious about online dating, I've had a bad experience in the past and it's made me very eerie on it. He could be looking for a real relationship that is serious, but those things just don't happen like that. It takes time to get to know someone, to develop a connection and share the time and experiences with them that makes it complete. I think he's trying to rush into it and make you believe that is what he;s looking for, when really he is seeking someone for a day, and see how it goes kind of thing.

    If you're feeling weird about it, I wouldn't recommend going. Try to talk him into going to a public coffee place, or do a lunch out instead of being alone with him. You never can tell the true intentions of someone from over the internet. Please be cautious.

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    • 3mo

      I wasn't planning on meeting him at his place. I was planning on meeting him at a coffee shop.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • That's really moving fast and there are red flags everywhere. He doesn't even know you. How can be know he wants to be committed to you? Sounds a bit off and as if he is after love, not you as a person. Or maybe he thinks it's what you want to hear in order to land you in bed. Men like him move in and out of relationships or partners weekly. I've met men like him and I stay far away.

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    • 3mo

      Lol those are the exact thoughts I had. And when i canceled cause i got sick today he just said i was using a weak excuse. So yea. I dodged a bullet.

    • 3mo

      I really think you did!

  • you're paranoid!

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