After 5 years of sharing our friends, my boyfriend suddendly stopped. What should I do?

I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. Before moving to a new country, two years ago, we knew all our respective friends. We basically hung out with friends together all the time. When we moved to a new country, I studied while he was unemployed so I involved him in every single activity with my new friends. Problems started when he found a job. I was so happy for him so I didn't mind he went out more often and always without me. When I finished studying and all my new friends left the country, I found myself alone. My boyfriend kept seeing his new friends without inviting me even once. I know for sure that more than once there were dinners where other colleagues brought their partners, but he never told me. Now I have a job, so things are better for me. I'm still the only one who involves him in my social life. I don't think he's ashamed of me because otherwise I cannot explain why he involved me in everything for more than 4 years. Everything else is fine, but I don't feel like our relationship is complete as before. Lately, I even found out that he was hiding that he had to go out with friends. I was really mad: not because he wanted to go out, but because he lied. I don't usually get mad. For example, some months ago, he told me he wanted to go to France to visit a colleague with other colleagues, and I was happy for this and pushed him to go. I'm still in love with him and that's why I'm always happy when my friends finally meet him. I think it's only natural. But the more time passes, the less I feel like speaking about him to my friends as well. I never even mentioned him to the last people I met because I feel empty every time I speak about him knowing he doesn't anymore. Do you think I should be worried or that I should just have my own social life and leave him out of it and see how it goes?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, not all couples want to be with the SO all the time and like time away to recharge. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but he is clearly not interested in opening up this world to you. To me that shows he needs total separation between his life with you and life with these friends. Something is there or he has a reason to divide these two lives. So he could be somewhat ashamed of you, or isn't proud enough, or maybe you embarrass him. Or he simply isn't into you as much as you think he is, and he enjoys this other company better. There may also be another woman involved in this other group and obviously doesn't want you around.


What Girls Said 1

  • Have you asked him why he doesn't include you in his social circle anymore? Guys often don't look into things as much as girls do, so it's possible thag he doesn't even realize how much this is bothering you. Maybe he thinks the dinners with these people are boring and awkward, and he's trying to save you from having to suffer through them. I wouldn't worry yet. Just ask him and see what he says.