I feel like I only attack crazy, creepy, or clingy guys... help?

this is a serious question and concern of mine. i've even dated a few (although it NEVER lasted long lol) i don't wanna act like it's always those guys' fault (although it may be that way at times) so what could i fix about my personality to stop attracting these types? I feel like i'm the kind of person whose nice to everyone, so these guys take that too serious? i've also had issues with boundaries. how can i better myself to stop this from happening?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Go after guys that are more confident. You aren't able to differentiate what real confidence looks like yet. You need to spot the read flags and be able to pickup on cues.. that way you can filter through the pussies before getting into a relationship.

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    • 3mo

      okay that makes a lot of sense, so what would be considered real vs. fake confidence? like what are some cues to look out for?

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    • 3mo

      this is perfect, and I think I'll be able to see things with a clearer head now, thank u for this!

What Guys Said 2

  • I wouldn't think about what you can change about your personality (you are who you are), I'd look at the guys you're dating and why you pick them? Try dating different types of guys then you'd normally go for. Do you always wait for or go out with the guys that ask you out? Try asking out a guy you're interested in first? @Fearless_bananna is partially right, it's about picking up on these "red flags" and cues and recognizing them early. And don't think a guy will change or that you can change him if you stick with him, yes it's possible but highly unlikely.

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    • 3mo

      this is something that i've been thinking about more and more for a while now, so you saying this just confirmed this for me. and yes, i've always 'waited' for the guy to come around and more and more I want to be the one doing the initiating. It's scary, but i guess it has to be done if i really want it right?

  • in 5 years you'll be kicking yourself because you pushed those guys away because they were nice to you.

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    • 3mo

      appreciate the opinion, but i don't think i will tbh lol there's a difference between guys being nice and being needy lol i'm just trying to figure how NOT to attract the latter

    • 3mo

      Get off your ass and go try to pick up someone up that you want. You're waiting for everything to come to you so you're bound to wind up with guys trying to win you over if they like you (clingy) and sexually aggressive guys being very forward (creepy) if you wait around...

What Girls Said 1

  • I am that way too and I don't know what to do because I have a genuine love for everyone so people take advantage of that 😔

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    • 3mo

      sucks doesn't it? lol like i'm learning more and more to let go of certain friendships that aren't good for me, instead of holding on, again it's a boundaries thing, and i find that helps me to respect myself more. bc i guess that's what it comes down to. if you're way too nice all the time to everyone in any way, people don't always respect it. still it's hard when u wanna just love everyone right? lol

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