Girls, Do your best friends impact your dating life?

A girl I know keeps texting me and flirting with me, but her best friend hates me. She looks at me as though she wants to hurt me. When this girl is around her best friend she won't acknowledge me, and when her friend is absent she becomes all happy, giddy, and nice to me. I should note I dated this girl before, but I stopped talking to her because I was extremely busy with school. When I ask her to do stuff she yes, but changes her mind and texts me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally I think that if two people are done dating they are free to date whoever they want even if it's someone like the best friend of their ex but with girls that can be tricky. Often they'll get upset and jealous if one of their friends starts dating an ex and for a lot of them it's kinda an unwritten rule not to. But if I were you I'd try to find a chance to talk to the girl in person and be upfront about it. Not in a rude way but just like "hey why don't we ever get the chance to talk at school" you know?
    In the end though, if she's not gonna come through and keeps acting like that then you're best finding somebody else.
    Hope it works out for the best.
    Could you answer mine too?

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    • 3mo

      Okay, I did. Thanks for your advice!

Most Helpful Guy

  • i believe she/he does

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What Girls Said 18

  • I think the friend feels she's protecting her from future heartbreak and takes your prior behavior as hurtful even if you were trying to be honest about focusing on school or work. Perhaps they feel that the girl should of been the priority before and that you should of found time somewhere. If you did do extra curricular things and that best friend saw you she probably felt you could make time if you really cared.

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  • Yeah.
    When I started dating my boyfriend, I was too scared to tell my best friend out of fear she'd get mad. She hated the guy and constantly complained about him. However, she also noticed I've been around him a lot, texted him a lot and wanted to be with him a /lot/. So, after a few weeks, she decided to text me, saying something along the lines of: 'I think it's best if we end our friendship.' because I've been around the guy a lot. I cried, was angry and sad. She still didn't even know I was dating him, but she was jealous I was spending so much time with him. This was in the first month we were together, and I felt like the bond between me and my boyfriend wasn't as strong due to my constant anxiety of my friend's reaction upon finding out he was my boyfriend. My boyfriend kept on telling me I should confess, and I agreed but when it came down to it, I chickened out every time. He ended up being the one telling her over text.

    A month or so later she texted me, saying that perhaps we could become friends again, and I agreed. I knew she didn't have a lot of friends, and I was the only real friend she had. My boyfriend doesn't want to become friends with her, because of things my friend had done in her past. My best friend doesn't mind being friends with him, because she knows it would make me happy, but she's unable to. They act neutral towards each other, because both of them know that fighting won't make them nor me happy. I'm fine with them being the way they are now, and this causes me to have a better bond with my boyfriend.
    I know this is a long story, but a best friend can have quite a big impact on one's love life.

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    • 3mo

      I think it's really selfish of her to hold your heart hostage and sabotage your relationships like that.

  • I would definitely take my best friend's opinion into consideration. If she doesn't like him, I'll be less likely to go out with him.

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  • No, they haven't. I am a private person, so I don't really go in to details about my relationships. So they tend to like the guy until I break up. I just tell them it's over and move on, they don't really say much else.

    I'm not sure why that girl is acting like that towards you.

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  • I value my best friend's opinion.
    We have been friends since we both were around 3 years old. She knows me very well.
    She only wants what is best for me, and she died not just hate someone without having a reason.

    So yes, if she was very much against a guy, I would perhaps have second thoughts.
    (She would not be against him just because it was not her type either, we both know that we are two very different types of peoole ).

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  • I don't let my friends impact my dating life, but I have no doubt that other people might. Some people naturally hate controversy and just want to keep the peace, or they are pressured by their peers into making certain decisions.

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  • They do and my family. I wish I didn't tell some about my crushes because they make fun of me and don't think I'm over the guy sometimes

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  • for most girls the "all-knowing gfs" (which fail in every relationship of their own by the way) they are unfortunately their "love-gurus". which is causing a great part of your misery guys, and is an ailment to relationships in general. (very frequently they are even jealous or even fancy the guy so they try to consciously sabotage the whole thing). with the worst advice given ever (which is usually a collage of "street wisdom" and cosmo articles "smarts").

    i personaly try to have as better quality friends as possible. that really care for me. and even those i rarely let them affect my personal decisions.

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  • Definitely, I take their advices and stuff my in the end I would make my own decision wether its the same or the opposite of the advice I receive from them.

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  • My guy friends have more of an impact.
    Girls don't know their thoughts or the meaning behind their actions the way another guy would

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  • I don't care about the opinion of my friends and family. But sometimes they are right.

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  • Yes, mine does, but he's also one of the few people that actually wants me to be happy.

    In your case, I think her best friend may be worried that you'll hurt the girl again.

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  • Yes it does affect me because I value and trust my friends and family's opinion so I will definitely take it into consideration but as of deciding if a guy is worth it even if they doesn't approve is up to me.

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  • (laughing)
    No one's opinion matters regarding anything about MY life... the end!

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  • No not really. We both date who we like and respect it.

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  • Yeah they do

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  • I wouldn't bother to really deal with her. Those are the worst people who act funny around other people. My friends have no impact on who I date. Some of them can't stand my ex and we are friends dating didn't work for us. But I still talk and joke with him when they are around

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  • None but my pparent does

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, I have never dated in my life and I never wish to date either and I have never had friends also. However even if I had friends ( just to assume) then they will have no impact, they will have no influence in my life regarding anything whatsoever.

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  • I mean, I'd definitely take it into consideration, especially if it's a female friend because they may see motivations i don't, but ultimately if i feel good about it then they can eff off lol

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