Okay so I am 18, close to 19 years old, and I have never even had a girlfriend. I've never been kissed, never had sex, nothing. I can't figure out whats wrong with me. I'm not a bad looking guy. I go to the gym 5 days a week. I work part time and I'm in college. I'm not the most social person but I'm not terrible at holding conversations either. I've looked for advice everywhere. Some people say girls want the opposite of what they say, some people say they want an asshole, some say they want a guy that cares for them. I've tried being an egotistical dick and that just pushes them away, I've tried being nice and they just want to be friends. Even when I just be myself I still fail. I feel like I'm at the point of no return now. I'm almost 19 years old and still a virgin. What girl actually wants that? I've been considering taking my life over this recently. I've got a great life lined up but whats it all worth if I don't have someone to share it with? People are always surprised when I tell them I struggle with girls but I feel like it shouldn't be a surprise. There's something thats wrong with me, that makes me undesirable. I can't figure out what. Would it be easier to just pull the trigger or are there girls who would date a virgin at 19?
Most Helpful Girl
Okay listen to me. What is wrong with you is that you don't love yourself and your miserable. Nobody wants to be with 'misery loves company'! Your 18, and a virgin male, so what? Do you have any idea how much a person would be happy? 50/50. 50% of women will belittle you for it. 30% will adore you for it. The last 20% will love you to death that they may not even risk having sex so quickly or until marriage. Which is often a girls ideal! So what is the problem? It's yourself. Stop listen to those rumors: "Some people say girls want the opposite of what they say, some people say they want an asshole, some say they want a guy that cares for them." Really? It's just hearsay! They make everything up and its not the truth. The truth is most women will just use you for sex if they know your a virgin, most girls will just want sex anyway, selfishly using you for their so-called needs! But it simply depends on what you are after. What do you really want? Love or sex? Because you can't have both just like that, only a fake substitute of everything until it fails.
Your too desperate. And miserable. It needs to stop. There are plenty of virgin girls, heck, I'm almost 25 and still a virgin, never dated or had a boyfriend, and I'm not complaining. I'm actually very happy. Here is what you need to stop with:
1. "I'm not a bad looking guy.": I hear that and I'm going to start thinking your all about yourself. Which is a turn off. I judge wither or not your attractive to me, not you for that person. And besides physical attraction is on the bottom of the list. You can't force other people to be attracted to you if they don't want to. They'll just pull away.
2. "I go to the gym 5 days a week.": Go for you. But why are you doing it? To get and stay fit, or to attract a girl? Think about this.
3. "I'm not the most social person but I'm not terrible at holding conversations either.": Perfectly normal. Nobody is going to turn you down unless they are just picky and is not satisfied. They get bored easily. If you find yourself having to try to keep a person interested, that says something. It means its not for you.
4. "Even when I just be myself I still fail.": Wrong, you didn't fail. They failed. They failed to qualify to be your girlfriend. You were being an jerk/idiot just to try and attract them, and you tried being nice to them. You being the jerk didn't need to happen. Being nice was not the problem. Its the type of girls your picking! Your taste in women is poor.1
Most Helpful Guy
I'm 19 and in the same situation.
I just suck at knowing how and when to make a make with a girl. I simply don't know how to make a female friend more than a friend.
We still have some time though. Only 50% of people lose their virginity by the age of 18. The other half are as fucked as us (no pun intended).0