Im an 18 year old male virgin, is it too late for me?

Okay so I am 18, close to 19 years old, and I have never even had a girlfriend. I've never been kissed, never had sex, nothing. I can't figure out whats wrong with me. I'm not a bad looking guy. I go to the gym 5 days a week. I work part time and I'm in college. I'm not the most social person but I'm not terrible at holding conversations either. I've looked for advice everywhere. Some people say girls want the opposite of what they say, some people say they want an asshole, some say they want a guy that cares for them. I've tried being an egotistical dick and that just pushes them away, I've tried being nice and they just want to be friends. Even when I just be myself I still fail. I feel like I'm at the point of no return now. I'm almost 19 years old and still a virgin. What girl actually wants that? I've been considering taking my life over this recently. I've got a great life lined up but whats it all worth if I don't have someone to share it with? People are always surprised when I tell them I struggle with girls but I feel like it shouldn't be a surprise. There's something thats wrong with me, that makes me undesirable. I can't figure out what. Would it be easier to just pull the trigger or are there girls who would date a virgin at 19?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay listen to me. What is wrong with you is that you don't love yourself and your miserable. Nobody wants to be with 'misery loves company'! Your 18, and a virgin male, so what? Do you have any idea how much a person would be happy? 50/50. 50% of women will belittle you for it. 30% will adore you for it. The last 20% will love you to death that they may not even risk having sex so quickly or until marriage. Which is often a girls ideal! So what is the problem? It's yourself. Stop listen to those rumors: "Some people say girls want the opposite of what they say, some people say they want an asshole, some say they want a guy that cares for them." Really? It's just hearsay! They make everything up and its not the truth. The truth is most women will just use you for sex if they know your a virgin, most girls will just want sex anyway, selfishly using you for their so-called needs! But it simply depends on what you are after. What do you really want? Love or sex? Because you can't have both just like that, only a fake substitute of everything until it fails.

    Your too desperate. And miserable. It needs to stop. There are plenty of virgin girls, heck, I'm almost 25 and still a virgin, never dated or had a boyfriend, and I'm not complaining. I'm actually very happy. Here is what you need to stop with:

    1. "I'm not a bad looking guy.": I hear that and I'm going to start thinking your all about yourself. Which is a turn off. I judge wither or not your attractive to me, not you for that person. And besides physical attraction is on the bottom of the list. You can't force other people to be attracted to you if they don't want to. They'll just pull away.

    2. "I go to the gym 5 days a week.": Go for you. But why are you doing it? To get and stay fit, or to attract a girl? Think about this.

    3. "I'm not the most social person but I'm not terrible at holding conversations either.": Perfectly normal. Nobody is going to turn you down unless they are just picky and is not satisfied. They get bored easily. If you find yourself having to try to keep a person interested, that says something. It means its not for you.

    4. "Even when I just be myself I still fail.": Wrong, you didn't fail. They failed. They failed to qualify to be your girlfriend. You were being an jerk/idiot just to try and attract them, and you tried being nice to them. You being the jerk didn't need to happen. Being nice was not the problem. Its the type of girls your picking! Your taste in women is poor.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm 19 and in the same situation.
    I just suck at knowing how and when to make a make with a girl. I simply don't know how to make a female friend more than a friend.

    We still have some time though. Only 50% of people lose their virginity by the age of 18. The other half are as fucked as us (no pun intended).

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What Girls Said 14

  • Hell no! It's not too late for you at all, dude! Really, it might seem like everyone around you is dating and having sex but it really just isn't the case. I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend before. See? You're not alone. Please don't take your life over something that society pressures you about. you have a bright future, m dude :)

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  • Oh my God. Seriously?

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  • I'm in the same boat as you... But female version I guess. With the exception that I like being a virgin. Let me just say, girls DO NOT CARE that you are or you aren't a virgin. Well, most of the ones I know. As for what girls want? That varies, just like it does for guys, it depends on the girl and what they respond to. You haven't found the right girl yet is all, but while in the process of that, I can tell you this: be nice, honest and respectful of that girl. And please please please do not pressure her into having sex because you feel like a dork because you haven't had sex yet. Guys lie about that shit 85% of the time. My brother is 23 and he's still a virgin but he lies and says he's already done it to all his guy friends bc he feels the same way you do. Coming from a 19 year old, moderately attractive girl, who hopes to find a boyfriend soon... Just play it cool and wait, the right girl will come along.

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  • you're fine!! I'm on the same boat. I feel bad sometimes that my 14 year old cousin is getting more action that I probably will ever get but hahah it's all good. It'll happen sometime

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  • You should be teasing. Nor asshole nor sweet and nice. When you approach one then you should be sweet but she should now that you have non friendship intentions.

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  • You sound like you try to be someone who you're not just so girls find you attractive (Which they won't find you if you act like someone else) Just be yourself and wait, you are just being desperate for finding a girl right now and what matter if ur virgin at 18? Its normal.. So many people are still virgin when they are 18, a lot of girls even like it.. Means you're their first and it makes them feel special.

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  • I'm dating a 25 year old virgin and it doesn't matter to me at all. I'm a virgin myself though so that might be why.

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  • all i can say is yum. LOL.

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  • I would date a virgin, you didn't waste your first time before you were 18 and I find that attractive!

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  • There are girls who would.

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  • Yes, you're hopeless. Hang it up, Jack.

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  • It's never too late. I saw a 50 yr old virgin on tv

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  • That's not bad, I'm 21 and wish I could find a guy who's a virgin

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  • You have nothing to worry about. Believe me, there are plenty of girls who would date a virgin your age, and many who are looking for a guy who hasn't had a ton of relationships. Many girls I know (myself included) would actually like to date someone who has never been with anyone, because it shows that they aren't someone who just dates random girls and will drop them the next second. I'm two years older than you (also good looking, but somewhat awkward) and still haven't had a relationship. These things take time, but just put yourself out in the world and make friendships, and eventually everything will work out. Try not to focus on what you lack in your life, but be confident in who you are. Try joining groups and being in places where there might be girls who appreciate your authenticity.

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What Guys Said 5

  • you're fine. just quit watching the water boil, become a good friend to yourself-like yourself, quit thinking there's something wrong with you (that's all in your head and CAUSING THIS) and it WILL happen, and it will happen naturally-and be nice. But you're trying to force it, you're watching the water boil instead of just cookin, be you, everything else will follow.

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    • 3mo

      i meant IT will be nice (when it happens) not that YOU should be nice-but that's true too, be nice TO YOURSELF. that's the key :)

  • Seriously?

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  • I'm afraid you may have the 'vaids' it's too late my son.

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  • Hahahaha... no. i lost my virginity at 19 and was moderately successful until I was 28yo.

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  • No, try being a 28 year old virgin and then ask this question.

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