Basically Dated a girl, on and off, for 18 months. She knew I was jealous of other men, but I wouldn't bluntly come out and say "I am jealous of so and so", I would say to her "I feel second right now to so and so." Which in turn is basically is saying I am jealous. Anyways then well we officially broke up and its been about 1.5 months now since we have broken up. This time we broke up, she said she didn't love me anymore, to not try and convince her to stay with me, that we didn't have enough time for each other, and that she wanted to be able to go dance with other men at clubs. So I didn't put up a fight to convince her to stay with me because if she felt that way, there would be nothing for me to fight for.
So weeks pass I don't talk to her that much, I only talked to her twice, once we talked for a bit, she said we should get coffee to talk about our relationship one last time, she never asked me for coffee(its been 4 weeks now). The next time we talked was when I found out she has a new boy friend, she complained to me and seemed bitter to me. I asked her can I call you to talk in person? or video chat? or meet up for coffee tomorrow? she said no to all of them and said it wouldn't be a good idea to. So she complained to me about how I have never been overly jealous of her hanging around with other men, and how I don't seem that jealous of her new boy friend, that I just don't bluntly say that I am jealous. Honestly I have accepted the fact that if this guy makes her happy, then I have nothing to be jealous about. So we talk a bit about our past like was I jealous of other guys, I say why is this important to know. She said "Its nice to have a boyfriend who will try and protect you from other men ... maybe every once and a while. Not to let another guy come in and take her away from you." I became dumbfounded, I can't believe what I am hearing. So the convo ends with me saying "so that's why you left me, its because I didn't try to keep you all to myself." She quickly left saying I don't want to say why I left you again, goodnight bye.
What the heck is this girl doing? Honestly I have been keeping focused on different things. But once I have some free time to sit down and think about life, I just don't get why or what she meant by saying that.
Most Helpful Girl
First off you didn't do anything wrong. Showing jealously is a form of insecurity however, I see both sides to this. A woman wants to feel protected by her man and wants him to to be proud to stand up for her, much like you would from a female. But some people have a way they like to be loved. She sounds like she wanted to see all those insecurites come out of you, knowing someone for two years and not seeing that when you know they feel it can be frustrating. On that note, if she was going out with guy friends to the bar she at the same time is disrespecting you if you are not there with her and if her intentions weren't honest when she did go out. The reason why I meantion her intentions is because she is now in a new relationship so soon? From what you know of her do you think it was just the attention she liked about going out or was she going out with more girls than guys? Some people like to blame shift. You have to ask yourself this before you start asking questions about her. Do you think her intentions were honest? Would she react the same way if you did the same things to her?
Now, I know may girls that want their man to behave a certain way so they feel more secure or they themselves are insecure and feed off of attention to boost their self esteem. Do I think this has anything to do with the man? Nope, it's call self esteem, it's a motherfu*kin esteem of yourself. Only you can change this in yourself and your lover is suppose to support or help you. If you think your ex did nothing to help you with your jealousy or insecurities, than maybe it's best to let this one go. You want someone who is gonna make your life easier not harder on you. That is what everyone deserves. If you feel that you don't want to let this one go, than don't be afraid to explain why you never showed jealously and have her understand why. If she can't understand why, than she didn't accept you as an individual and was just looking for anyone to love her the way she wanted to be loved and that's not your problem anymore.0
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