I called him my boyfriend too soon, how do I fix the situation?

I had been seeing this guy for a month, and things were going well. The other day, I was out with a friend when she asked if I was seeing a boyfriend currently- so I told her about this guy. Later on, I told him about the conversation I had with my friend and he said he hates labels. He had mentioned to me before that he won't be seeing any "side baes" and that I'm the "main" bae. I've never used those terms before and I'm not sure how to interpret it.

I've only had one serious relationship in my life (I'm 20) and I always assumed that the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing was automatic when two people spend so much time together on dates. I'm kind of embarrassed that I jumped the gun and I don't know what to do. Advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No worries just keep dating and hopefully after awhile dude stop being childish and starts saying your his girlfriend. Right now he is just keeping his options open.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Apparently, @Design_x with his "side baes" and that I'm the "main" bae, H eisn't Ready to Slap a real Title on you Both and when or if he is, He feels He should Be... The Deciding Factor.
    Just because 'Two people spend so much time together on dates,' doesn't mean they are Exclusive or Official when it has Not been Discussed. Youa re Just in the Phase of dating to see if there Might be some.. Mating.
    It is a Bit too Soon in between your Nursing and Nurturing anything, so for now, Go with his Flow and in another Month or So... Have a Talk with him and Telll him you Need to Know as far as "What are we, bae?"
    With calling you a Pet name, I think you Warrant an Explanation by then.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 3

  • Not such a big deal if you don't make it out to him. Cuddle up to him and sprinkle him with kisses and talk to him with a light-hearted approach that can kind of figure out exactly what you two are in the relationship. That usually works for me.

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    • 3mo

      Not such a big deal if you don't make it out to him [/be].

  • really not a big deal. just explain that it was misuse of a label

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  • You're still some chick he's seeing, but at least you're the only chick he's seeing. Give it time and see if things become more serious.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Take it as a lesson learned that the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing is not automatic when two people spend a lot of time together on dates. The whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing only becomes automatic when there is a verbal mutual agreement.

    What he was basically saying is that you're the only one he's seeing but he's not ready to call himself your boyfriend yet. The whole "side bae"/"main bae" thing was probably him trying to lighten up the awkward mood. Just be super chill, make him laugh, and don't be so heavy on acting like a girlfriend. Guys like that will usually be gone like the wind if you make them feel smothered or pressured.

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  • You're saying exclusively, for all intents and purposes you are boyfriend and girlfriend. Just forget about it, don't mention it. It's his problem not yours. If he's still having issues with the "label" in a months time I would have a word though and ask him what his deal is, why he can't admit to the world the two of you are exclusive.

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