How do you deal with someone ghosting you?

I was seeing this guy for several months, we got into an argument, and he's ghosted me since then. The thing is he texts me on seldom occasions saying things like we'll talk eventually in person about everything. It's been a month since we had this argument! I've been trying to see him to have this conversation but he won't give me a date or time and just goes ghost again. He tells me he has things he wants to say to me, but won't say them instead he just stops responding. Wtf? What would you do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The best way to deal with someone like that is " Don't" stop responding to his messages -block him if you have to. If you notice this person operates strictly on their own whims with almost no respect for you as an equal- Do you really believe it'll change once he "comes around-if ever"? - it won't. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. If you were dealing with someone you liked can you think of any reason- ANY reason at all where you would be ignoring their messages or ghosting for long periods of time and not reassure with that reason or at least a hint to it?

    The only reason I can think of in a situation like that is someone with serious emotional/psychological issues who may be borderline suicidal or bipolar which in this case I highly highly doubt. He is probably just a fuck boy who is probably dealing with multiple girls or may even be in a relationship. in my opinion you're setting yourself up for a really big disappointment that is currently being dragged out- nip it in the bud forget about this dude and move on there is always always always something better out there.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Fuck him! I don't mean literally. Just ditch him altogether and block him forever. Find someone new instead. He's playing games and fucking with your emotions and mind so fuck him. He's a total douche and a total waste of your time, so toss him from your memories forever.

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  • Its difficult, believe me I know. A few months back I was dating a girl that really liked. Out of nowhere she literally stopped replying to me at all. There was no fight or anything, things actually seemed to be going pretty well. Anyway, its been 2 months since last contact and I've been heartbroken ever since because I know she still around, she just won't talk. The good thing for you is he still texts you occasionally, which means you still have a shot at him. Be assertive, when he texts you tell him you still care, make it clear you want to talk things out etc. In terms of dealing with the hurt, do things with friends, keep busy with work or other stuff like that. It can take time to get over, its gotten better for me but I still think about her a lot but I'm starting to accept that she doesn't want to be with me. Just tell yourself you deserve someone who will treat you better than him and one day you'll find him.

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    • 3mo

      I'm sorry this happened to you. It's a horrible feeling and nobody deserves to be left in the dark without any explanation as to why. It's rude and cowardly and heartless and juvenile. Like how do you go from being a kind and sweet person and suddenly just disappear as if the other person meant nothing? I will never understand it.

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    • 3mo

      no need for closure. you already had your awnswer

    • 3mo

      @lady8787 that makes no sense. If you read the conversation or know what ghosting is you would know me or the asker have literally no answers. You must not have gone through this before because you would be more understanding if you had. When someone just disappears off the face of the earth to you after you had what you thought was a meaningful relationship, you absolutely need closure. The feeling of not knowing why is awful.

  • "I'm going to make you an offer. It's been a month since we had that little unpleasant exchange , it's time for us to close that chapter and move onto better things. I have something I want to say to you , and I'm sure you have something you want to say too. Let's meet - *insert time and place*."
    If he doesn't reply or start playing games about "oh I can't , I have something to do" and when you ask him for a time he won't give you a solid answer. Just end it. If he doesn't have the maturity or willing to leave his ego at the door and settle things rationally , he's not worth your time. My two cents.

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  • How do you deal with someone ghosting you? That's quite easy, you slowly fade away as well, if one does not want to contact you anymore, you should respect their wishes and leave them to it, if by any chance in the future they feel something for you and miss you, they would let their intentions known.

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  • I just let it go I don't try and confront them either if they wanna let someone down in one of the most shittest ways possible that's not my problem. I confronted a girl who ghosted me once long time and she just went bat shit crazy and flipped out with multiple angry texts if someone ghosts you that' just another way of them saying I don't give a fuck about you. You just have to let it go and move on.

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  • Nothing, you do nothing. You can't make someone talk to you. You should have blown him off along time ago. Someone ignoring you is clear signal they want nothing to do with you... you see that right?

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    • 3mo

      Had the exact same issue. I was being playful with a guy, & he took offense to what I said. He immediately put up a status directed at me, so I called him ONCE, texted him ONCE as to ask if I had said anything to upset him - NO response. Haven't spoken in 5 months... Then again, I did reject him earlier, so maybe he's upset because of that too (I have a good reason for that). He's been trying to get my attention ever since. He's older than you & acts like a boy; it's bloody ridiculous. Women want men who are able to cooperate with women, despite their differences, not men who throw hissy fits & expect you to run after them. I think it's an ego issue more than anything else. Ego & confidence are two VERY different things; the former is based on insecurity, the latter is based on a healthy self-esteem.

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    • 3mo

      Is that what "ghosting," means?
      Who is so poorly adjusted that they persist in approaching someone, despite avoidance?

      Thanks for the slang!

    • 3mo

      @Lawdog Apparently. Lol

  • Nothing. You move on and forget about that person.

    Being ghosted does suck but there's nothing you can really do to change a person's mind at that point. If you keep on contacting them after they've repeatedly ignored you, you're just gonna piss them off and annoy them and you'll be even more miserable.

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    • 3mo

      If someone ghosts on me or is seeming flaky, I give it the two time rule. Once is ok but if they don't reply a 2nd time, it's time to move on.

  • Sometimes a conversation should be just that - a conversation. All this texting and social media leaves out the other half of real communication - the body language, emotion, and etc. And girls just want to talk and talk and talk. Guys do, girls talk it.

    He's dumping you. Time to move on.

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  • What was the bitch fest about?

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  • If he ever replies back to you refer to him as 'Casper' he'll catch on. Don't waste your time with that guy.

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  • he is shy, and wants to say apologies to u.

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  • I've only had it happen once and it was hell! Literally my first love/crush!! It hurt like hell. I still think about it to this day. Best friend, close as could be, told her how I felt and got silent treatment:ghosted on for 11 solid months. Returns only to tell me her life is "comfortable" without me. I don't even get mad I just accept it. Was happy to hear from her. And then she asked to hang out!!! Like talk about confusing.

    Thing is I love her so as bad and odd as her actions are I just know I love her. But it hurts like hell😔.

    I think it would suck worst if i was in your shoes, cause it constantly pulls you in when he makes contact only to push you away again when he goes cold AGAIN each time. It's like repairing and rebreaking your heart/emotions. And as like anything the more you break and fix somethings gets more fragile each time. He needs to tell you whatever it is and stop leaving things up on the air for you to suffer and wonder about. It's unfair to you.

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  • Ghost him back. he's playing games with you.

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  • So you know where he works or where he frequently goes? You might be able to meet him there. But of course that is the least likely thing.

    Just try leaving a message once every 2 weeks. If he doesn't respond then move on.

    Besides what was the argument about? Depending on the subject or what you think led to the disappearance?

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What Girls Said 9

  • You do NOTHING. Delete his number, & see new people. Otherwise you will struggle to get over it. It will get better. xx

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  • I would simply tell myself " he isn't worth my time anymore" and move on

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  • It can be a bit annoying, but nothing I can do. So I keep busy with work or hobbies. My mind stays busy, time flies by and they might respond. If not, oh well time for me to move on. At least I accomplished some things.

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  • I don't bother with it.

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  • Just move on it happens to the best of us

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  • threaten to have them taken care of

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  • You can't do anything... I think ghosting is so stupid.

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  • You call a pastor !!!

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  • GHOST THEM BACK!

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