What do you think is the ideal age gap between a man and a woman in dating? What is the age gap between you and your partner?

  • Older man, younger woman. Considerable difference (10+ years)
    11% (5)19% (8)15% (13)Vote
  • Older woman, younger man. Considerable difference (10+ years)
    2% (1)2% (1)2% (2)Vote
  • Older man, younger woman. Smaller difference (5+ years)
    30% (14)31% (13)31% (27)Vote
  • Older woman, younger man. Smaller difference (5+ years)
    2% (1)7% (3)5% (4)Vote
  • About the same age (1-3 years)
    43% (20)29% (12)36% (32)Vote
  • No particular preference.
    12% (5)12% (5)11% (10)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say at least around the same age. I oldest I've dated was eight years older than I am. The youngest, a year and a half younger than I am. I've always preferred older woman.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know hundreds and hundreds of married couples. Probably thousands, at this point.

    In the VAST majority of the best-functioning couples I've seen -- where "best-functioning" includes sexuality, logistics, emotional compatibility, finances, and just big life decisions in general -- the husband is roughly in the range of 5-12 years older than the wife.

    Like, in ALMOST ALL of the best-functioning couples. AT LEAST 95 percent of them.

    There's also more than just my anecdotal experience to back this up:
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/7873718/

    (If you see the more recent studies that purport to show that same-age marriages are most stable, a further look shows that those are BS... because they removed the variable of *which spouse is older*! So, in other words, those studies are lumping marriages in which the wife is 7 years YOUNGER in along with marriages in which the wife is 7 years OLDER. Lol... Nice experimental design, guys.)

    In any case, there are 2 easy reasons to explain this.

    1)
    BIOLOGICAL CLOCKS:
    Our fertility starts declining in our mid-20's, and, if we haven't given birth yet, starts to fall off a cliff around age 30. (Giving birth extends the fertility clock, so to speak.)

    If the guy is older, then it's much more likely that he'll be ready -- psychologically, financially, and leadership-wise -- for parenthood at around the same time as his wife is still fertile.

    2)
    MALE LEADERSHIP / PROTECTIVE VIBE:

    Let's face it, that ^^ is what JUST ABOUT EVERY woman wants in a husband. It takes different forms from woman to woman... but... yeah.

    Can a younger man -- or even a man of the same age -- exert credible leadership? Can he be the legitimate head of the household, in the spiritual sense (not necessarily money, which is mostly not relevant here)?
    There some guys who can step up to that, but, others can't.
    And, on the other side, only some women are ready to accept the headship/leadership -- or even partnership -- of a guy who's younger than them.

    Those are the big 2 reasons.

    __

    For women who also think a man should be a financial provider (and for *men* who think a man should be a financial provider, hah -- I'm always surprised to learn there are just as many men with this opinion as women)... that's another reason. And a BIG one, too.

    __

    As for other people's reactions --

    Haters gna hate.

    Really, it's that simple. Jealous people grab whatever's visible, and hate on it. If what they notice is an age gap, they'll hate on an age gap.

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What Guys Said 16

  • I put older man, younger woman (smaller difference) in most cases.

    This is assuming the desire for children where women are often at an optimal age for pregnancy in their 20s. Nevertheless, children require a stable home which might often call for a man who is slightly older and settled in his career.

    This is assuming traditional gender roles still where the wife is at home and the male is the primary financial provider. Throw those out where the female might be working alongside the male or the male even stays at home to take care of the kids, or one that desires no children, and I think all of this goes out the window. At that point, I don't really think it matters so much about age gaps or lack thereof.

    In my case, I fit into that category outside of traditional gender roles, and we cannot have children (we tried a little too late in the game). My wife is only months younger than me.

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  • I believe that while both parties involved are legal and consenting, the age gap shouldn't matter. The heart desires what it desires, and so long as no laws are being broken, do what makes you happy. Shouldn't that be the rule for anyone?

    For me, I feel as if we spend too much time worrying about age and whether or not two people are going to be compatible and base this on how old or how young they are. It should be about how you treat each other and how you make each other feel, and not what year you were born. Does the person treat you right? Do they make you happy? Do you share similar interest; likes and dislikes... et cetera? If so, then why care what your individual ages are. That's the bottom line in my view point.

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  • My fiance is 10 years younger than I am. She's a great woman.

    Honestly, reading through this site and this subject in particular; a lot of you people over think everything. I never thought about age gaps and other shit that's discussed at length on here when it came to dating. I always just went with the flow.

    That said, I've been judged pretty harshly for my fiance being much younger than myself. As if I'm a sexual predator who preys on girls much younger than me. Another assumption is that I couldn't get a girl my own age so I preyed on a mind that's immature that doesn't know any better. It doesn't bother me though. Also, men don't seem to care, it's mainly the women who judge.

    The only time it pissed me off is when my fiance was close to landing a good paying nanny job until the last second the Mom decided she didn't want to hire her because she knew about me and was afraid I was a pedophile (This Mom's oldest kid was 7 or 8). Being accused of being a pedophile was strange, but what pissed me off is that she lost a job because of it.

    I've been accused if being a pedophile twice even though we started dating when she was 19. It is what it is.

    I'll tell you this though. She's more matrure and a better partner than any woman I ever dated that was near my age. She's going to make a great wife and mother one day.

    To the guys on here. Don't worry about this age gap shit. Follow your heart and always use your brain and you'll be fine. The people who will end up judging you harshly for this are always the kind of dumb, ignorant people you'd want nothing to do with anyways.

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  • This is less of an issue at my age. At a very young age - 20-30 - too much age difference creates a chasm of differences. But women mature earlier than men so a slightly older fellow tends to be more compatible.

    A womans peak SMV is 20, a mans is 40. So the younger woman is always more desirable than an aging one. Past 40 it's all down hill. Men get better and better 'till they're about 40, so why would he date a woman his age when one ten years younger is more attractive and more attracted to him?

    This is a warning for women - don't squander your youth and beauty - it is fleeting. And just because you got the hots for the bad boys don't spend all your time chasing them - find someone you can settle down with before it's too late. If you ride the cock-carousel 'till you're in your thirties then the good ones are already taken and the rest don't want your used goods. The bad-boys will never settle down, they don't need to - they get all the pussy they want - something about buying cows when the milk is free? (shrug)

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  • On average, adult humans consider anyone 15 years younger or older than them are either too old or too young. This holds true in most cultures around the world.

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  • I think within 3-5 years and less is what prefer. We would be able to appreciate similar life experiences in way of upbringing, culture, social aspects, etc. If the gap widens it's harder to relate - for me anyway.
    Now I have many friends and co-workers who are in early forties who date women in twenties and thirties and love it, not just for the sex but for the relationship as a whole. Apparently women in that age group have a lot to offer older men.

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  • For me ehm.. a max five year diff. I say this now, but if that One lady is different, I don't know

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  • My wife and I were born within a month of each other.

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  • It doesn't matter.

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  • not more the 5 years differnece

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  • About the same age (1-3 years)

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  • About the same age.

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  • I think 69 years is ideal

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  • No particular preference.

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  • About 30 years

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  • I met my wife when she was 15 and I was 26. Women require security, financial security, maturity and above all strength which is something she can only find in an older man. Where as men prefer younger women as they are a better prospect.

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    • 3mo

      15 and 26? Are you trippin? 👀
      How did that work out? 🙊

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      Oh, ok.
      Wait 16? That is legal? What about her going to college? Did she still go?😱

    • 3mo

      @JoyGirl Not everyone is privileged enough to have parents who pay for college besides unless your getting a real high end degree going on to be a doctor or something in STEM a college degree is a waste of time. Starbucks and wallmart are full of graduates who didn't get a decent degree or a high enough grade. Dont go for the "college experience" if you go then go to create a future for yourself. Dont study usless non degrees like liberal arts or womens studies.

What Girls Said 8

  • my partner is 7 years older than me. we pretty much match maturity and intelligence wise and it's perfect. honestly i wouldn't want him to be any older due to me still being just 19 because that is just one of those weird ages for there to be an age gap but i wouldn't want him to be any less than 5 years older than me. i really can't stand men my own age

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  • I don't really believe there is such a thing as an "ideal" age gap. It depends entirely on the individuals. Some people don't like big age gaps and others don't mind it. My boyfriend is 6 years older than me and we're doing fine so it works for us.

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  • I like someone my own age. My boyfriend is 2 years older. I have dated 10 years older and 10 years younger.

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  • For others, I don't think it really matters what they do. Can be older or younger as long as it's legal. For me, I prefer around my own age but I might give it a try outside of that.

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  • 5-7 years
    but it depends on the person though. Whoever you feel more compatible with;

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  • like the guy to be the same age or younger

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  • Same age or a little older (the men)

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  • An ideal age gap would be a few years older (1-10), but I'm dating someone 26 years older than me.

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