Tl;dr: if two people are complete opposites, can a happy relationship still work?
I met this guy at a festival. He's cute, sweet, intelligent and we have the same type of humor, plus we study and live in the same city, but that's about it when it comes to compatibility. He's a virgin, I've had sex with 8 people in one year. We like different music, do different sports, I'm a bit 'alternative' while he's much more into 'mainstream' things. He's joining a rivalling students club of mine.
He's very silent while I like to chat a lot.
There's nothing 'wrong' with his choices or likes, but I fear we don't have much to talk about, we don't fit together. Is this a huge problem or could it still work?
And do you think he'd mind if I still sleep with fuckbuddies as long as he's not ready? I won't see him in three weeks and I rarely go without for more than 10 days. I'd be completely open about it; I don't want secrets and lies.
Most Helpful Guy
I married someone like that but with a big caveat/twist.
I'm like a jackass who drinks beer, loves to skateboard vert, party, electronic music, and about the only subjects I'm intelligent about are STEM-related as a result of my work.
Meanwhile my wife is an elegant type who likes classical music, opera, and her intelligence is more focused more in areas like literature and history (she's a writer, publisher, and editor). She does love to party sometimes but not as much as me, and not as wild and crazy as me.
So we're pretty different there. However, I prefer her over a girl I dated before with whom we had almost everything in common interest-wise.
The difference is that we have a stronger connection in terms of how we communicate about topics than any other girl I dated. Also she has come to absorb some of my interests (music, films, etc), and I have come to absorb some of hers (never thought I'd be the type to like opera!). So we came to have so much more in common than we thought originally, and we started with a stronger kind of emotional/intimate/sexual connection than I ever had with any other girl.
If you can find this kind of dynamic with him, it might just work.1
Most Helpful Girl
It's doomed... because common interests and sexual compatibility are very important in relationships. He probably won't want to have sex right away. He could be saving it for marriage too, ask him. He might even have different views on things than you, which comes with morals. I was in a relationship with a guy who was not compatible sex-wise, or interest wise. He was a virgin, I like BDSM sex. Lol. I'm no "bad girl" by any means, but I had 4 sex partners and he had zero. I felt like the tattooed demon vixen with him... but I felt like an angel when I was with men more experienced than me. 😈😇😮 He liked to do different things than me and we had little to talk about except TV and music!!! It was dull... and my energy level was 2x higher!
Lol if you are asking if he would mind you fucking other guys... you probably don't feel a connection with him... I would ask 100% but he may view this as unusual!! You aren't official, so he might not care, but it shows that you are not all that interested (from an outside point of view) I used to make out with other guys when my ex and I were still in an open relationship... but I wouldn't have full blown sex with them. I felt so guilty for making out with one guy, I told my ex a few days later. He didn't care. Unfortunately, all of this kinda ruined that time I needed to create a strong connection during the "get to know him" phase.
You need to get to know him better. I advise asking questions, showing interest, going places, finding out about his past, plans for the future, thoughts on topics you care about etc. You need chemistry and connection!! Good luck!! But, if I were you, I'd drop him like it's hot. Don't make the same 8 month long mistake I did lol!!!1
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