Question about online dating struggles?

I'm a 24-year old guy who's noticed that when I go out in public, girls (even if I've never met them before) that I find attractive will come up to talk to me/show interest in me. But when I try out dating sites (tinder, pof, etc.) I struggle WAY more. Every time I find a girl who I'm attracted to or seem to share interests with, they rarely match with me/message or show interest. I've been told I have a "young" or "innocent" face before so I'm wondering if I look too young online, where other factors like being 6'4" help me look more my age in public. I'm thinking this might be the reason, because when I DO match with someone they're usually 18 or 19 😑. I attached some of the photos i use on dating sites, can you give me some input about why these pics don't seem to be working for me online? Or why you would "swipe left" to me or choose not to match or start a conversation? It's really confusing to me, I'm thinking I might just lose the apps and start got out to bars every night lol!Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?Question about online dating struggles!?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You look like a nice friendly guy. I'd say take of the pics with girls though. Usually drinking pics aren't good either, but yours isn't too bad actually... Only the girl and guitar pic makes it worse lol... the three combined you look like a guy who goes out a lot and performs and has groupies lol, just taking out the pic with the girls would change it.
    Generally, guys choose people without pics of them with some dude with his arm round her, and girls choose people without pics of guys with their arm round a girl. It's normal.

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    • 3mo

      Appreciate the advice! I actually don't use the girl pics but I wanted to test the waters and see what people said. Definitely won't use it!! And the alcohol comes a little from my self-consciousness about not looking like I'm 21, it's stupid I know... but I'll try losing the beer pics too!

    • 3mo

      The alcohol pic isn't actually too bad by itself. It doesn't look like some guys who look like they just party wild too much and can't be sensible with their drink and just enjoy a drink without getting fucked up every time.
      I think the only reason you look so young is because you have really good skin. The way you hold yourself and how you dress is older.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are very good looking... you have a wonderful smile, you've chosen a good style for yourself. That you are struggling just goes to show how stupidly picky can be on dating sites.

    The pictures are okay, maybe more of you doing stuff, and less with other people in them. I note you have a drink in your hand in most of them, which is something not all online daters approve of (like I said, people are stupid and picky).

    I wouldn't worry that much, you've been blessed with good looks, any girl with her head on straight would be happy to date a guy like you.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I hate hate hate when guys post pictures with girls. That's an automatic left swipe. Just because it comes off so douchey.

    Put on more selfies! I pay more attention to those

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    • 3mo

      They're probably relatives, don't be harsh

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    • 3mo

      They are relatives but I will definitely stay away from that from now on lol

    • 3mo

      Also I actually have never used this pic on sites, I used it as a test to see if girls actually find this douchey. Question answered.

  • I like all the pictures, except the one with the girls, of course. When looking for a relationship, women don't want to see other girls hanging around you.
    I would swipe left, as I personally don't like that pic of you with these girls, and because that can of beer. I don't like men who drink. Other than that, you look fine, and I would be attracted.

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    • 3mo

      Appreciate it! I'll try losing the beer pics and won't use the ones with the girls (even if they're family)

    • 3mo

      No problem! Girls don't know the story behind the pics, s it is all about the first impression. When they see the photo of you with the girls, they will get a negative first impression.

  • Your cute if I was single and online is try to talk to you but I think you so have the sweet innocent face and most online girls our age are looking for trouble makers or the bad boys and you have that serious long term relationship look going on which is a good thing there are girls out there looking for that

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  • As an 18yr old, I'd swipe right on you because 1) you are older than me 2) you are good looking 3) you look younger than you actually are 4) part of me might thing that what you said isn't your real age... So I think on tinder older women think that you're probably cat fishing them since you younger than what you say.

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  • You look gay and most likely a serial killer. But that's how a lot of white guys look.

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  • You seem like a really nice guy and have a great smile too! Sometimes, good things take time and i'm pretty sure you're gona meet someone amazing for you! Just be who your are and be confident :)

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  • Your not a bad looking guy, when it comes to online dating people are just flaky which is why I would stay away from online dating all together.

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  • Never post a photo of yourself standing next to attractive girls. It sends the wrong message. I immediately swipe left on guys with pics like that. Doesn't matter if you're related or just friends. It screams "I'm a player!!"

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    • 3mo

      And the photos of you holding alcoholic drinks is tres cliche. It's like the duck lips photos of the male population.

    • 2mo

      Totally agree! The photo of yourself standing next to attractive girls definitely frightens away the attractive girls from the other side of the screen. Never use Tinder, it's for teenagers more. PoF is ok. You can also try http://www.asiandate.com/ . It's my brother's favourite dating site.

  • I would probably swipe right with you, but don't expect me to start a conversation because 1) I might not think we have enough in common and 2) there are guys who message me that I'm interested in so I don't really need to reach out.

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    • 3mo

      Yeah from what I understand girls are overwhelmed with messages so I guess I'll try to write some messages that stand out from the crowd

  • To be honest most of your pictures look a bit boring. And a picture with girls usually = wannabe player, which is not attractive.

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    • 3mo

      They're probably relatives, don't be harsh

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    • 3mo

      Also I guess I'll try to have more people take pictures of me when I don"exciting" things haha

    • 3mo

      Girls are so threatened by other women you can only take a pic with another if she's ugly cause then they'll think your an humanitarian.

  • If there are girls that are showing interst in you in the real world, why are you using online dating sites?

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    • 3mo

      You must live in a city lol

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    • 3mo

      Went out with some friends last night an met someone there, so yeah it's definitely a better option for me! I was just trying to point out that depending on where you live, it can be easier or harder to meet people in person

    • 3mo

      Thats awesome! yeah it can be pretty hard to meet people when you have to drive 45 minutes just to get to a store😂

  • you're handsome and you seem like a happy person

    if you are having good luck with girls in person then focus on that. honestly that is in my opinion a better way to meet someone anyway

    im not sure why someone would swipe left on you but clearly they aren't "swiping left" in real life so who cares lol

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  • You do look very young... I think it's your neck. In person you probably have a presence that commands and interest that just doesn't tranlate in a photo? I don't know. If it's not too hard to meet people IRL then why are you trying to internet date, if you don't mind me asking?

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What Guys Said 5

  • Online dating is (much) harder for guys than offline dating. This is because the whole thing is more about looks, guys outnumber girls and guys will spam girls, so even a mediocre girl (looks and personality/achievement wise) thinks she can get a brain surgeon who is a Ryan Gosling look-alike.

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    • 3mo

      What? I dont look like Ryan Gosling? My life is ruined... jk haha but yeah there's a lot of truth in what you said!

  • This is such an unnecessary things to worry about, if you can meet women in real life then do that, it's much better than meeting them online anyway.

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    • 3mo

      True, it's sometimes hard to find a good place to go out in my area though. I'd definitely prefer meeting in person

  • OK, first, *Never* use a picture on a dating website of yourself with your arms around two women! It is not relevant if they may be your sisters or whatever, it will come across "player-ish". Also, half of your 6 pictures show you with booze. If you're a partier and want a partier, fine, but be aware of the way it comes across. Many who use dating websites do so because they don't like the bar/party pickup scene. Just my opinion, and it's worth what you paid me for it.

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  • Online dating is a crapshoot for sure. Sometimes it takes a lot of rejection to find luck on the sites and apps.

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  • Attractive girls on dating sites have to dodge sausage like mad just to stay afloat. It can be harder to get their attention.

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