Why do guys turn me down once I mention, i'm a feminist?

I find this totally bizarre, like i would dating a guy and then at some point during the first few dates i tell him i'm a feminist and i can see their face drop... like why do you guys do that?


0|0
6|26

Most Helpful Guy

  • Because feminism's image has been forever tarnished. The general assumption is that most feminists are crazy man-haters.

    1|5
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • they are just misinformed, like most of the people on this site. They hear the word feminist, and they automatically think femiNAZI and women who hate men and want not only equality but superiority. They picture extreme feminists who march in the streets and are psycho. They are too ignorant to realize most feminists are nothing like that. It's almost as if the word itself has been given a bad image due to so much misinformation by the media, the internet and elsewhere. It's quite a shame because if they really new what feminism was about, I'd think they'd be much more open to it. In fact, most people are feminists, they just don't know it and wouldn't wanna associate themselves with that word. You don't have to be an activist to be a feminist, it's a belief, basically that no one gender is superior to another and it actually doesn't only fight for women. Anyway, long story short, he's ignorant. And do you really wanna be with someone so ignorant and close minded? you could do better :)

    2|1
    0|1
    • 3mo

      Feminist gave themselves a bad image, it wasn't the media. Modern feminism is all about social equality / justice which means they find everything offensive and complain a lot.

      Anita Sarkeesian is a good example of a modern feminist.

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      @Djaaaaaay @ayylamo guys don't ruin this thread. please stop. lets have one topic about feminism that doesn't resort to personal shit like this. Thanks.

    • 3mo

      Braving? You've just proved my point again.
      You know a personal attack isn't an argument, right?
      www.hebrew4christians.com/.../againsttheperson.gif

What Guys Said 25

  • Because in the modern political climate, of third wave feminism, intersectionality, and patriarchy theory, he hears that and the first thing he hears is NOT "I support equal economic, legal, and social rights for women."
    He hears Anita Sarkeesian saying "Everything is sexist. Everything is racist. And we have to POINT IT ALL OUT!"

    Now, if a man told you he were an MRA, would you hear out his points, and be calm and civil, or would you assume he was a bigoted, misogynist, rape apologist monster, and end the date on the spot?

    1|1
    0|0
  • For very good reason , feminism is associated with hatred for men , the leaders of the movement have been bashing men for decades , yet no rank & file feminist has ever called out the leaders. If a man advocated mass extermination of women , he would be slung in jail !! I have had the misfortune to work with man haters that were self descrided feminists , one snarled at me ( without even knowing me at all !! ) " Men are a cancer , that should be removed " , I found better employment soon after thankfully. Describe yourself as egalitarian instead , most men will assume you are negative towards men.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Feminism is toxic and everyone knows it that's why 😂. Us men find traditional and submissive women attractive because it's feminine. As soon as I hear feminist I run a mile like am running away from those fast sprinting zombies on that film 28 Days Later.

    1|2
    0|0
  • Well modern feminists have an very bad reputation, and rightfully so, for the most part.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdA6mlNN6C0

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptveqCIjJ7k

    1|1
    0|0
  • To me it's a sign the person spends at least a fair amount of time and energy focusing on complaining or wining about petty things. I'd rather focus on more positive things. I'm not saying the world is 100% fair and I don't have a problem with people pursuing trying to fix every problem. I would just rather enjoy life without the drama, especially when the inequality is minuscule. So it's like telling me "I'm a complainer."

    What would you think if on a first date a guy told you he's a masculinist?

    1|2
    0|0
  • Cause most people (not just guys) get Feminists and Feminazis mixed up but to be fair there is a reallyreally faint line between the two these days smh

    1|2
    0|0
  • Perhaps you should not mention that you are a feminist, but find it what he thinks of current feminist thoughts, ideals and beliefs and see if he brings up a good debate. If he seems pretty leveled headed then ask him what he would think or do if you told him that you were a feminist after the debate. It's easier to ease someone into a level of thinking rather than throwing it on the table and hoping for the best when you are forcing them to make a quick reaction decision on what just happened rather than gauging the mindset and then mentioning it. See if that works.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 3mo

      that's not bad advice but it's a shame that due to so much misinformation and ignorance, one would have sneak it in there like that.

    • 3mo

      @Mydnite - Well I thought of it as if the @Asker was actually having a good time on the date why risk it all this early in the date. Politics, Finance and Religion are date KILLERS, as she has stated in her question.

  • Because the few feminists that I have met in real life all seem to hate men, yet have high expectations of men, and want to do nothing in return for the men.

    1|2
    0|0
  • because feminism is a social stigma
    is worst than dating a single mom
    is worst than having aids with cancer in the same time

    most of tham are hypocrites anyway : who should pay for dates men of course i m just a women but they open their holes to talk about equality
    feminism can die in hell with satan

    1|0
    1|0
  • Because feminists are crazy.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy6spOAbxhg

    1|2
    1|0
  • they dont want to ruin their lives

    1|4
    2|1
  • because they take feminists as feminazis

    1|0
    0|0
  • Because third wave feminism is a scourge on society.

    1|3
    1|0
  • No. Emma watson is a feminist and i would fuck and date.

    1|0
    0|2
  • Because your not shoping in the right dept. !! Need Alpha male or won't work for you. Period !! Untouched by feminist and quite compatable together. By the way take this as a complimate

    1|0
    0|1
  • Why would a guy want to date with someone who hates him more than he can even imagine?

    1|3
    2|0
  • Well, what should be the fortunes of feminism?

    1|2
    0|0
  • Only very extreme feminists make headlines, and a lot of people believe that's what feminism is...

    2|0
    0|2
    • 3mo

      yup. you're right.

    • 3mo

      I haven't seen much negative press on feminism in traditional media.
      You'll mostly find it on YouTube videos, and non-mainstream news sites.

  • because you understand feminist differently. You can talk about feminist.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's a red flag. I don't think feminists have a reputation for campaigning for equality anymore. I'm a feminist is basically code for being an entitled asshole. It's not like all feminists are definitely assholes, but in general I'd say it's a reasonable bet to think that people who call themselves feminists are either ignorant about the goings on of feminism or are not really the kind of people you want to hang around with.

    It's generally going to only be bad or neutral rather than being a good thing.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Because feminism is a cancer.

    1|2
    0|0
  • The answer is in the question! It's quite simple really love.

    1|1
    0|0
  • All else being equal, that rarely translates to any dating upside to be honest. And I've dated a few feminists (and am currently with one).

    1|1
    0|0
  • Girl: hey I'm a feminist
    me: *runs very very far away*

    1|1
    0|0
  • I hate feminism and would never date a girl who is a feminist regardless of how beautiful

    1|2
    1|0

What Girls Said 5

  • Most people confuse feminists with feminazis.. it's ignorance in my opinion.. but just not mention this when you're in the first phases of a relationship.. you don't even have to say it out loud.. just discuss stuff and see where you both stand..

    3|1
    0|1
  • Imma just get my popcorn and see how many bitter men comment on this.
    66.media.tumblr.com/.../...8mkgT11s0my1wo1_250.gif

    2|0
    0|1
  • Why do you say you are a "feminist" ? There are many definitions of it. Let them discover how you stand against equality of the sexes and then they can gradually form their opinion when they start knowing you better. Maybe they have a totally negative image of a "feminist" (certainly if I see some posts here). There are as many feminist types as flavours of ice cream.

    0|0
    0|0
  • To be truthful I would have seriously thought that someone of your age and intellect would have known the reasons why.

    0|3
    1|0
  • Most men just don't like being with ballbusters

    0|4
    2|0
    • 3mo

      Those are the kind of men that don't have balls big enough to be busted...

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      clearly you're misinformed, ignorant and clueless.

    • 3mo

      With a man ;)

Loading...