Single ladies! I need your ADVICE!!! HELP! :) ?

I went to a wedding yesterday, and most of the women there were 26-35, most had Husbands, or boyfriends.
I am 20. I met a lady, who was 32, she was really cute, so we talked for like 10min, danced for like an hour and a half, and then sat back down to talk a bit more. As soon as she found out my age... she kind of changed her whole body language towards me.

MY QUESTION IS! Why do ladies not want to date/hook up with guys younger than them?

Like, Hello!!! I am hotter than any guy her age, I have my own Job, Car and Apartment. why... did she instantly not like me anymore :(

(ALSO:She approached me first)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What a coincidence? I just posted a question about this: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2088489-i-am-a-32-year-old-woman-dating-a-24-year-old-man-is-that-too-much

    I am in exactly that 32 year old woman's position right now as I am dating a 24 year old man. These are my reservations about dating men so younger than us:

    1. Different phases in life - As a 32 year old, I am ready to settle down, get married and have kids right now. I guy in his early 20s is just starting out in life, and probably not ready for this commitment. Our biological clock is ticking, and we can't afford to spend time dating someone who is not able to give us what we are looking for.

    2. Insecurities - It is a fact men prefer dating younger women. We are just biologically wired that way. So we are worried about how Long we can keep you interested in us physically. A woman also likes to feel young. When she is with a younger guy, she is reminded of how old she is.

    3. Different Social circles - Chances are that your interests may differ, and the people you hand out with too. Your friends might not get along with hers and vice versa. This may cause problems.

    4. Societal pressures- Also society is harsh on these matters. There is a certain stigma associated with older women dating younger men. They don't want to be judged and laughed at, or called Cougars. If it comes to a situation where it gets serious, your parents might not appreciate your choice of being with someone so much older.

    5. Logistics - If you ever want to have kids, this just causes problems. By the time you are financially and mentally ready, she might not even be able to...

    It kinda sucks. But this is the truth...

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    • 3mo

      </3
      Thanks so much. What got me upset last night was the guy she started flirting with later on.
      He was a lot less attractive than me, but older, 30 or 31. And in my opinion and my brothers (they work together) A scumbag! he was caught drinking on the job (He works for ConEdison, Its an electricity provider in NY) had to go to AA meetings and everything.

      I don't know, I just feel like my ego took a punch :/ :(

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    • 3mo

      That is not too big a deal. It could easily have been the reverse, depending on what profession you chose. As in she still could have been a student at 22, while you had already started your career at 20. It will more or less even out in 2 years time. Take heart, it could still work. And if not, well you are 20! Plenty of fish and plenty of time!

    • 3mo

      Thanks so much :) You helped me a lot
      Have a wonderful glorious day

What Girls Said 10

  • Because that 12 year gap makes for people who are at different stages in their lives. You are probably content the way things are now. You have your life starting up and it is probably great. But she has been doing what you are doing for a while and she is probably at the point where she wants to get married and maybe have kids. It is probably safe to say that you are not ready to get married and have kids now. You are a year older than me and I can guarantee that I am not ready to settle down yet.

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    • 3mo

      This makes a lot of sense.

      But the guy she started talking to after me Michael
      Is a fucking degenerate! he is 30, balding, has a worse car than me, goes out drinking every week, looks ugly, is fatter than me, not to mention he sucks at dancing...
      Dont want to sound like an asshole or conceded but the difference between myself and him are worlds apart. I also have more potential.
      This is like the last guy anyone would want to "Settle down with"

      Thanks though, this makes a lot of sense

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    • 3mo

      It's ok 😅 That's life!
      Thanks for all your insight

    • 3mo

      No problem!

  • Because of the stereotype that comes along with an older woman dating a considerably younger male. She doesn't want to be called a cougar. Not to mention there's this thing where people feel if you're younger, you're not as mature as them. Which is shit but... I guess she didn't want to be judged. And 12 years is kinda... off putting in my opinion. I mean if both of the people are happy and in love that's great <3 however 12 years is a bit creepy.

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    • 3mo

      :( but I like cougars <3
      You are right though... thnks for the advice/insight :)

    • 3mo

      I mean cougars like you too <3 You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and you can provide for yourself (obvious turn on to most women). You just gotta find the right one ^_^
      No problem cx

  • It's a maturity thing younger guys are a lot of work and take patience which some women just don't have I'm being honest

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    • 3mo

      But there is no work to be done with me! Lol
      I just need some time to upgrade my job position and that's about it! Also to get my degree 😅

  • Because they often feel like guys younger than them are less mature. You might have a job and apartment but that doesn't make you older in her eyes. 12 years is still a big age difference, especially when she's older than you.

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    • 3mo

      But she was all in to me, thought I was mature, so what does it matter what my age is?
      She literally said "No way in hell you are 20!"
      and then she said, "I might need another drink" while laughing...

      I guess so.. She was so pretty :/ I am just upset, because if I was just like a few years older, She would have been ok dating me
      Thanks i think you are mostly right

      Do you think, there is any way to change how older ladies feel towards me?
      My friend said I should have lied and told her I was 24... But I dont like lying

    • 3mo

      A lot of people are biased... Also you look for different things in a relationship when you're older. If you're 20 she most likely assumed you're still studying and a lot of people around that age don't want a serious relationship whereas most people in their 30s are already looking to get married and have kids.
      Because of that I think it's better to look for girls around your own age. If you were just looking to hook up then you could have lied but it wouldn't have been okay if you were looking for a relationship, she would have found out anyway.

    • 3mo

      Yeah I should have lied
      Lesson learned.

      thanks for the helpful advice :)

  • Most women like older guys bc they be more mature so we can always feel young in a way

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  • I can't date anyone younger than me well maybe a year younger that would be it I don't care how good looking or successful you are in my eyes your just baby/kid.

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    • 3mo

      That's very close minded 😅 To each their own I guess

    • 3mo

      Nope just find it weird to date someone younger than me I definitely couldn't date someone 12 years younger than me. Then their are people who prefer dating someone a lot younger or older than them and that's their choice but for me personally I couldn't date someone younger than me same as I can't date som either who's like 10 years older than me.

  • lol this has happened to me before... I don't know I guess I'm just embarrassed.

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    • 3mo

      Embarrassed to be with a younger guy?

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    • 3mo

      😝 mind sharing a few of your ladies? 😂😂

    • 3mo

      @ModernDayCrusader no Lol jk

  • No I'd never date someone younger than me
    I don't care about car money apartment etc at all.

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  • I think caramel_creme pretty much spelled it out. Older men dating younger women are so prized and congratulated for doing so, but it is exactly the opposite when you are an older woman dating a younger man. She might have approached you first, but she didn't know your age and maybe assumed you were not her age, but not like a decade plus younger. There is just a lot of awkwardness on both sides when you hang out with each other's friends or have to justify why you're dating someone SO MUCH OLDER/YOUNGER than you. It can be hard. You like to say none of that matters, but when it's brought up all the time, she or you may not feel like having to always deal with the same BS.

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    • 3mo

      I guess so
      I can't wait until I am 30 lol

    • 3mo

      Enjoy your 20s while you're in there and don't try to grow up too fast.

  • She must of thought you were older. Generally most women don't approach younger because there is always that bit of immaturity but you probably seemed to carry yourself as older. She is afraid of what people would say if you were to ask her out on a date.

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    • 3mo

      Thats exactly what happened.
      Also, We both knew a lot of people at that wedding. Although we didn't know each other.
      Probably afraid her co-workers (She is friends and works with the bride) judging her for dancing with a younger guy, if they saw me take her home, might have affected her reputation

    • 3mo

      That's all, before you mentioned your age she definitely seemed into you. Like it's not as if she was 2-5 years older. She's a good 12 years older than you and she would be judged by people even if she had good intentions for a relationship. It's the same with my boyfriend and I. He is 34 and and I am 22. He got so much shit in the beginning. Sometimes he still does, even some of my family butt in and try to interfere but he's amazing, and he treats me great. He got with me when I was at a low point in my life, I wasn't earning much and could barely afford to go out let alone buy stuff each week. Now I am in a good job, and have him backing me all the time. I'm moving in with him soon :)

    • 3mo

      I don't know, I feel like its a lot more socially acceptable to date an older guy
      hell my father is 20 years older than my mother

      women's biological clocks are shorter, guys are fertile longer yadda yadda

      Good for you though! Fuck the haters! be happy with your older boyfriend! yeah! good luck moving in :)

What Guys Said 3

  • Lmao age gap between you is too much bro, she could be even your mama' lmao :D

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  • That's easy - you're too young

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  • A job and car doesn't make you hotter.. It makes you mature.
    But the age difference was still huge

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    • 3mo

      I Should have never mentioned on this website that I had the basic provisions for a modern relationship.

      I KNOW IT DOESN'T make me hotter lol.
      I am sexy fella, I got good looks and sharp clothes. I am just upset she didn't want to continue talking or dancing with me, she started talking to older guys... I gave her a shot lol. All I want is an older lady to let me prove myself and give me a shot :(

    • 3mo

      She must have felt like pedo herself... that might be the reason she left... lol
      jk

    • 3mo

      I look really old for my age, like really old lol, Many people thought I was in my mid twenties at that party, including herself...
      I guess you are right, maybe she did feel like a pedo

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