So I found out my boyfriend cheated on me again and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.. Help?

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years now and I am so in love with him it's crazy. Yesterday I found out he has been cheating on me for about a month. I read some messages from him and a girl and that is as far as it got but they were talking about sex and some other things like they were flirting and stuff. I'm really hurt but this isn't the first time he's cheated on me and I know he's cheated on girls in his past relationships. He told me he's been trying to change and that he loves me and wants to marry me one day. We've even talked about moving in with each other with in the next 6 months. I don't know what to do and need some advice.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he really is manipulating you and taking advantage of you. If he has a past history of cheating on his previous partners it's pretty much a date and commit to a relationship At Your Own Risk with him.

    If you want to stay and remain unhappy about what he will do that you have no control over, as if he really wants to cheat and isn't exactly loyal to you in the first place, then he absolutely WILL cheat.

    Otherwise you don't have to lie to yourself any more and think that the relationship would actually get any better at all. Put your foot down and take a grip of yourself and tell him, that you've had it with his fucking lies and cheating and going behind your back and taking advantage of you and your feelings and taking you for granted, and that you've been more than generous by giving him a second chance but in the end he took that completely for granted and is a total disloyal and ungrateful piece of shit.

    If you're afraid to tell him this in person, then do this when you split off without ever telling him at all, as it's better, just totally ditch him and then either text or send him an e-mail telling him it's over and it's time to go your separate ways. You've forgiven him before, and tried to make this work but he really doesn't care how you feel or think at all and had only pretended to care. Drop all contact with him permanently once you break it off with him. It won't be easy. It's entirely up to you. Stay and risk being unhappy and discovering eventually that he cheated on you again and again and again, or worse if he ever got you pregnant and then cheats on you and abandons you. Are you really going to want to risk those kinds of possibilities?

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Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 6

  • A person who cheats on someone can never ever change...

    ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER !

    Your should have expected that in your relationship cause you choose to trust such a person... who is still trying to change themselves... Which is complete bullshit... Cause people like these are selfish and they don't care about anyone's feelings except for themselves...

    You have to breakup with him and move on if you want to stay sane and want a good relationship with someone who really deserves you...

    He will cry and plead to you not to breakup with him but you have to still let him go cause he wouldn't never so they if you had never found out about his cheating...

    He would continue cheating even when you move in with him, even when you would have Been married to him or having a baby with him...

    So dump him and move on!!

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  • You should have dumped him the FIRST time he cheated on you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. That's just the way it is. I wish my gender wasn't so pathetic in this aspect, in terms of being so weak. But it is what it is. Scrap any plans of moving in with him. Ditch him.

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  • You need to walk away.

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  • Wants to marry... trying to change... 😂😂😂😂😂 are you kidding me? He will always cheat on you. Because he know that you won't break up

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  • "Again"
    You didn't learn your lesson the first time?

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  • Talking about marriage at 18 lol y'all are still kids

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    • 3mo

      It was more of a future thing and we've known each other for a long time... Longer than 2 years.

What Girls Said 12

  • Ummmm, he has cheated on you not once but twice. This is not good and is the reason you need to break up with him. You are only staying with him because you want to be married and you dream that it will be with him.

    I say, give up that dream. Not the dream to get married some day but the dream to get married to this little shit. He is a cheater. And you are way too young.

    You are too young so you should not be dating men to find men to marry but you should be dating men to make sure you pick good men. So eventually when you do marry, you marry a good guy. Like ten years from now at least.

    You have failed. You are dating a guy that is a cheater so he is not a good candidate for marriage. Dump him and do not look back. That you want to look back and excuse this guy proves that you are in no way ready for marriage. Grow up a bit. Learn to pick good men. That is what your late teens/early twenties is for so take advantage of them and find a good man. :)

    Good luck, my love. :)

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    • 3mo

      It isn't my dream to get married I have goals that are gonna happen with our without me getting married. Marriage was a future thing we talked about but nothing that was gonna happen anytime soon.

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      Thank you this is more what I was looking for other than your original comment.

    • 3mo

      I am glad my second comment was more readily understood. My goal is just to be clear even if it takes two, three, four times the chances. Regardless of the number of comments, I am glad you got some benefit for it from at least one of my comments.

      Good luck to ya'.

  • Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me. Why are you dating this guy? If he's cheated multiple times in his past relationship s what made you think it would be any different with you? He has a serious commitment problem, if loves you so much he wouldn't be messaging and flirting up other girls. The fact he wants to marry you some day is scary, do you want to married to a man who you can't trust and will most likely still cheat? Just dump this guy and run as far as you can cause he's not going to change for you.

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  • Well, the fact that you said 'again' makes it hard for me to feel bad for you. Once a cheater, always a cheater, a phrase you should live by. He's telling you that he can't be trusted yet you don't want to listen. He's just manipulating you.

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  • cheater is always a cheater if u want to live a miserable life stay in the relationship

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  • Why tf would you take back someone who cheated on you even once? He's doing it because he can and because he doesn't have enough respect for you not to.

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  • When you truly love someone, you don't even think about cheating. Even though you love him, he doesn't love you enough to stay loyal. Do you want him to cheat in the future? I mean, he says he's changed but actions mean more than words.

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  • End it. He will keep doing things he keeps getting away with.

    You don't deserve that bullshit.

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  • Hun you need to leave, leave before you get stuck and feel you have no choice but to stay. You'll find someone that actually deserves you and will love you and only you.

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  • He's not gonna change :-/

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  • Leave him , if you respect yourself and love yourself you would see that he won't change and you can do better. Why are you allowing someone to disrespect you? That's not love. You need to leave him and be on your own and figure what you want. Don't let people shit all over you. Love him from a distance, you need to love yourself more. If you move in with him and you guys get married he won't change he is only saying that stuff to distract you from his fuck ups to shut you up.

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  • I hate commenting on stupid questions like this, she isn't going to listen...

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  • Sounds like you're lucky! Lucky enough to have found out before moving in with him or anything else. I rarely advise people to break up, but he already cheated twice on you, plus his previous girlfriends. You're only 18, he's probably not much older; he expects you to accept his behavior when it's clear this isn't going to change.
    Better think of it as an eye opener...

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