Guys, do you lose interest immediately if a girl turns down a date? Do u assume that if she gives you an excuse she's necessarily lying to avoid u?

I turned him down although I'm starting to crush on him. I have many reasons for not being able to go, I told him I would've loved to go with him but I can't now ( I really can't).
I'm not sure if he believed me but he seemed a bit disappointed.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • then go on another date, this time you propose a date to him

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    • 3mo

      But we live in different countries, I have to wait for next summer T_T

    • 3mo

      long distance relationships never work...

    • 3mo

      It's not that much of an LDR, he lives in London and I live in Paris, and he's rich so I guess it's not that hard to come over and we're both from the same country so we can still see each other during the summer :/

Most Helpful Girl

  • Depending on the excuse they might think you're lying but most of the time I doubt it.

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What Guys Said 38

  • Whatever the reason may be, I take a 'NO' as a 'NO' and move on. No man with even an ounce of self-respect will persist with a girl who turned him down. She might have her reasons, but I can't pin my hopes on her changing her mind later. I prefer to utilise my time and energy to seek someone else.

    But if she changes her mind and approached me herself later on, and if I'm still single, then I would have no qualms about dating her.

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    • 3mo

      Even if she's over 30 and might be just coming to you out of desperation and fear of being alone?

    • 3mo

      @BubbleBoy69

      I don't see 30 as some 'dreadful' age when people lose their worth or something. But yes, if age is the ONLY reason she's coming back... I'll have to turn her down.

  • The thing is , you should have made him a counteroffer , if you can't make it on that date , offer another time to show you're actually interested instead of letting him down softly. It works both ways. For love , for business , it's all the same rules.

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  • I will give up interest until she herself expresses interest me in me. I have learned long ago that when a female is not interested, she is not interested and trying to pursue her longer will just be an exercise in futility. Besides, it is a waste of resources because you could easily ask out a lot more girls until one says yes. So until she says otherwise, I will generally lose interest after the first rejection.

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  • I don't lose interest if she really had a conflict with her schedule or she was sick or something. Especially if she says she'd like to do something another time and she hopes that I ask her again.

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  • I wouldn't lose interest if she turned me down one time, it happens. If she turns me down a second time, then I'm out.

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    • 3mo

      Oh, I should have said that you should message him first the following day, so he knows that you're still interested. If you wait for him to text, then he may think that you're losing interest.

  • Not right away, but i won't ask again and my focus will be elsewhere. So if you want to give it a go now you will have to initiate.

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  • oh, the person who doesn't crush easily starts to crush again :P

    and it depends on how she turns it down. if she just says that she has no time and doesn't offer to do it on another day, then I assume that she isn't much interested (or not at all).

    but if you give me a good reason, if you make me understand why you can't and offer to do something another time... then I don't see it as an excuse

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    • 3mo

      It's the same guy from a few months ago, he just sent me messages again haha ><

    • 3mo

      Haha ok...

      Would be happy if I could see some message from you sometime again too :/

  • Men go by a two strike and your out rule. If a guy thinks a girl is really worth it he'll give her a third chance but after that. HE IS GETTING THE FUCK OUT.

    [This all assume he has any self respect]

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  • well if she turns me down, i will certainly not try again. so either she´s the one asking or she fucked up for good. of course i don´t loose interest like that but i won´t be that pathetic guy who will keep asking a girl out that already said no...

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  • If your reason was understandable, no.

    Should still put effort into meeting again yourself to show you are genuine.

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  • Nope. We always persist. Well I do anyway.

    Untill I genuinely think she doesn't want me, or I heard the two words, "fuck off". I don't lose hope.

    I don't think he will lose interest, especially because you didn't reject him in a rude way.

    Good luck

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  • We don't lose interest right away but those of us who have some experience won't believe your excuse. Next time give him a counter offer: a specific day and time when you will have time, that tells him you're actually interested.

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  • Well since so many women usually give excuses, I would think she's not interested. I might not lose interest immediately, but I would move on fast.

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  • How I do it:
    Phone call? Declined
    2 days later next try
    2 weeks later next try fuk dat.
    Start convo over whatsapp and see how it flows, if the girl bores me and doesn't want to keep a convo I drop it off.
    In your case I would give you 1 last call and already have low expectations since I don't even know the reason why not, just shrugged it of with an OK.

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  • Yeah, I'd pretty much lose interest immediately. The odds of someone saying 'yes' on the second try are lower so guys are probably better off asking someone else.

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  • Propose an alternate date. "I can't go this Saturday, but I are you free next Saturday?"

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    • 3mo

      To answer your question, if I get turned down, I don't go back for more punishment.

  • If its a first date then it can be disappointing for him
    And congrats you finally got a crush
    Explain and clear the things next time you both meet 👍

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  • Yes if a girl turns me down once I'm going to move on. Why waste time in pursuing someone that doesn't seem interested in a first date.

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  • Depends on the girl in question to be honest with you.

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  • a lot what women do from insecurity, indecisiveness, testing, rudeness plants hurtful bitter seeds...

    ones who can overcome this can create attraction

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  • Depends on the guy really. Guys who've had more success in the past will likely try again, but guys that don't, like myself, will probably assume that it's just normal and move on.

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  • Unless you're the girl of my dreams, I'm moving on.

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  • I imagine that's what I would think. Especially if there was an incident that came up during the date in which her friend gave her a phone call and she had to leave early.

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  • Just her prefferance, so I move on quickly with out looking back.

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    • 3mo

      And I don't assume anything. It's not really a rejection always , sometimes it's a sudble complimate.

    • 3mo

      Oppertunity is something we don't possess within ourselves. If you let it pass , you end up chasing it, which always ends up in a mess.

  • Well i would like to know why

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    • 3mo

      I'm only staying 10 days in Tunis
      I have exams to revise
      I never went out alone without a family member in Tunisia
      I injured my leg and can't walk etc...

    • 3mo

      WHHHHAT 😱😱😱 alf salama ya Sarra , but I wasn't asking for myself mean if I was in his shoes I'd like to know why lol

  • No i would give it some time.

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  • If she gives an excuse and offers no other time or date in the future that would work for her I assume she's just letting me off easy. However I will allow her to fool me once. When she lies to me twice, I'm done.

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  • more than one time refuse
    than i lose interest

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  • I would lose interest cause its about pride for me.

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  • I don't and I won't assume anything unless her reasons are rather vague

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think so maybe to some. In my experience when I've turned down men they would try again.

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