Every time a guy I like shows interest in me, a wave of insecurity floods over me. I don't feel like I'm as pretty as the Instagram models or the girls at my university who have long blonde hair and perfect smiles. Why do I react like this and how can I overcome it?
Basically I feel like I don't deserve to be adored
Most Helpful Guy
In my opinion, what you’re feeling could stem from how you were raised and the whole concept of Nature versus Nurture. In order to properly help you overcome what you’re feeling, I’d like to know more about how you were raised and what type of experienced did you have as a child.
Were you constantly berated as a child for your looks or told you were not pretty? Did your parents/guardians tell you that you looked nice or were you forever criticized on a daily basis for the things you did as a child and eventual young adult? You see what you’re expressing in your posting appears to be a lack of confidence in yourself and low self-esteem.
These could partially be the result of things happening in your childhood, which are affecting your ‘self’ imagine now as an adult, and so when a guy takes an interest in you there are these sudden influx of insecurities in your mind and subconscious.
Just for starters, in my opinion, a way to combat against this is to take a deep breath, look yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself over and over again that you really are pretty and attractive and there is nothing wrong with the way you look. When you hear that little voice in your mind telling you that you’re not pretty enough as the blonds you mentioned in your posting; shout that voice down and don’t allow it to have a hold over you.
Also, I’d like for you to realize there’s nothing wrong with you. There may be some self-esteem issues, but you seem well adjusted, and for anyone there is always room for improvement, therefore, I don't want you to feel as if there’s something wrong with you that just “needs” to be fixed. You don’t need to be fixed; you just need to booster your confidence and your boldness.
Most Helpful Girl
I used to be the same way until I met my boyfriend Cesar. He was just a friend that I hung out with that liked me. I though nothing of it because I never saw myself as pretty or even attractive in any way. You have to let your walls down for them. But they have to be persistent. Cesar and I still argue to this day about me being cute or beautiful. I am an overweight girl. I am one of the most insecure person most of my friends have ever met. It took Cesar 6 months for me to wear something that wasn't jeans and a hoodie. I live in South Texas. It is hot. And I wore that in the middle of Summer because I was scared he would leave me if he knew how fat I was. When really he knew and he loved it because he loved me for me. It is something that takes time and the right person. It sounds cheesy but y'all have to have this spark or it's not going to work. Confidence and a good person can change everything.0