Second date failure help? is he not interested or did I just friendzone him for no reason?

Hi Guys

So I went on a date with a guy who I had known when I was 14. he added me on fb 2 months ago and we been speaking for 2 months nearly everyday even if its only a how are you message. so we both came back from holiday and decided to meet up. Our first date went amazing! we shared so much we had so much in common and it was felt unreal that I felt comfortable with a guy like that. He asked me out on a second date! So on our second date again we met up during our time together he made comments about being with a girl who is experienced (I had told him I was in a long term rship before) so he kept hinting on being with a girl whos been in a long term rship. He openly began to tell me things about going clubbing etc and how it is just random topics we discussed. he then said to me that he isn't a guy that rushes into things and that he takes it slow. he said I leave it to the flow and if things happen then I will know its the one. he said I ain't looking for a girlfriend I ll rather talk and take things slowly than look for someone and put things in my head. so I thought ok his hinting. then he said randomly! would you be with me if I had a kid! so I got shocked and assumed that his saying this to put me off so I then began to friendzone him I started to say why would it concern me im your friend etc. we then carried on talking and at times we went silent. he then said to me so you wouldn't see me more than a friend I said no etc he asked 5 times. when he took me back from he didn't even kiss me bye or look at me he just said you going to be ok I said yes and got out the car I was a bit tipsy. got home feeling upset next day I message how he was he said his ok and that his busy and will chat to me later. I then message him saying are you still busy and he didn't respond and ignored me. I think I fell for him :(

Was he not interested in me? did I understand him wrong thinking he wasn't interested? what should I do? I don't want to sound despret.

Updates:
3mo so I approached him and told him that I may have come across wrong and that I don't need friends neither like him. and I said lets meet up again. but guess what I got IGNORED. but you know what its taught me a lesson. and I have no regrets :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He was trying to play it cool by saying he didn't really want a girlfriend but he actually did.
    Whether he has a kid or not I don't know but you killed it by saying you were just friends and saying it 5 times at that.
    He's friend zoned now. The only way to undo what you did is to literally tell him he's not friend zoned and you could see the two of you as being more

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    • 3mo

      So you think if I explain myself he may understand?

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    • 3mo

      No because you friend zoned him so he believes there is any hope

    • 3mo

      so I approached him and told him that I may have come across wrong and that I don't need friends neither like him. and I said lets meet up again. but guess what I got IGNORED. but you know what its taught me a lesson. and I have no regrets :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like there was a bit of a panic... and it ruined the date. He asked a very shocking question... and I think it was too early. He should have waited a little longer... Lol.

    You don't have to sound desperate. Just humble yourself.

    Desperate is scraping for whatever you can get. Texting a hundred times feels kind of like that... because you are earnestly trying to receive some form of life or validation.

    Humility is standing firm, knowing where you are at; if you are in the wrong, admitting it, and taking it all in stride.

    Humility is respectable. Desperacy is pitiful.

    If you're still interested (even though he might have a kid), talk to him. Be honest about the surprise and apologize for your reaction, and then talk about it. Just try and discuss like adults, on logical grounds. And you should be fine.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Looks like you convinced him not to pursue anything with you

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah tht was all your fault lol you're guna have to try pretty hard to get him back you told him you weren't interested in him as a friend.. Why would you do that if you cared about him?

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