My younger sister introduced me to her friend over lunch last month. I thought she was pretty and easy to talk to. I asked her out to dinner the following week after chatting for a few days. I thought the dinner went well. We talked a lot and had a good time. I do not think she considered it as a date, maybe more of just going out with a new friend who is a friend’s brother. Purely plaonic from her end. We had dinner again after 3 days and it was the same thing. After dinner, we strolled around the city then I accompanied her to her subway station. I was leaving the country the next day for my home country. She will also be going back to the same home country this Dec. I knew i would not see her for at least 4 months so it got me thinking of doing something.
It feels like i went overboard but i felt at that time i needed to leave a non-platonic impression. So the next morning i went to her subway station to give her breakfast, which included her favorite coffee. She was surprised and said “thank you and you shouldn’t have.” And something like “you should not trouble yourself.” I am not sure if that is a hint that she is not interested or am i reading between the lines too much?
I have been back to my home country for 3 weeks already. We chat online probably every 2 to 3 days. It is not exactly a real time chat. It is more of i leave a message to start or maintain a conversaion then she replies when she is online. Most of the time she replies after several hours or the next day. I am cool with it as long as she is responding i guess. I asked her on a weekend f i could call her. She said she is lazy to chat over the phone. Even with her guy best friend, she said they do not chat over the phone.
Here are some more details. She never had a boyfriend before. I am 30 and she is 26.
Do i have a chance at all or it seems like she is not interested but does not want to say directly and i have not picked up the signs?
Need your advice girls and guys. Thank you!
Most Helpful Girl
I think in a way, you're doing everything politely and being a gentleman. I just think she's kind of slow at showing that she's on the same page as you.
Then again, I shouldn't say slow because people SHOULD be very slow and not progress way too far, which is one of the biggest problems today in relationships.
If you're not seeing any effort from her, then I would believe she's not interested, becuase if you were truly something she was interested in, she'd make sure not to lose her grip on you, and that means communicating with you and putting forth initiations instead of just you doing it all the time.
In some ways, I can understand how she reacted with the coffee. Maybe she didn't think you guys were close enough for you to bother with that favor. Plus, you have to consider some woman can be very watchful of drinks given to them as women do have unfortunate problems of being drugged/spiked, etc.
She's kind of hard to read to be honest. Maybe she's being subtle becuase she hopes you'll just get the hint and be tired of her. She could be acting this way becuase she simply has no experience, like you said. Or, it could be she likes you, and wants to take it slow, that's all.0