I recently broke up with my girlfriend and she is now my ex. I broke up and left her. After the breakup she told me i was emotionally abusive. I've never had a history of that.
Here is what I did: 1. I would regularly remind her she wasn't a virgin and not good enough for me. 2. I would constantly reject compliments she gave me regarding how good I look and how I'm better than her ex. 3. I would regularly tell her she should have waited for me. 4. I called her used and damaged goods. 5. I would reject physical affection she tried to give me. 6. I always thought shittily of her because she wasn't a virgin when we met. 7. I would always bring up her ex boyfriend every time i got mad at her. 8. I thought she had to emotionally pay for offering me her non virgin body.
Do you think i was being abusive to my then girlfriend? I thought in was acting out of normal frustration and not being abusive.
Yes. Yes you were. If you had such a problem with these issues you shouldn't have gotten together with her in the first place. You consistently put her down and made her feel bad about herself for no reason aside from you own views about her sexuality. If you wanted a virgin girlfriend you should have gotten one rather than treating this poor girl as terribly as you did.
Okay in a way yes you was being emotionally abusive. And that was very very wrong. And I will explain how so by the list you provided to us:
1. You don't need to remind her of something that she did regardless if she regretted it or not. That is not your job. 2. Its okay to regret compliments but it was just wise to at least tell her thank you for them. Overall she is just voicing her opinion that she thinks highly of you. I don't compliments only if I sense or felt that they were fake. 3. Look. I understand where your coming from with this. But this is just wrong. The reality is she didn't. So unless you were looking to marry her as a virgin, that doesn't give you the right to only think about yourself. At that point you shouldn't have dated her knowing this. 4. That is very - very - VERY abusive. What person in their right mind say something like that, except an emotionally unstable and abusive person. You have problems, and need to go see a professional counselor. Because apparently you don't know how to treat a woman.
5 - 8 Unbelievable. You definitely need to go seek counseling. You don't need a girlfriend and your behavior is like that. Not even a virgin girl wants to deal with you emotionally. If she ended up having sex with you, she would regret it in a heartbeat. That is abusive to the max. I don't know what made you think in such a manner, or what experiences in your life through media or in real life, but you got a problem. Psychologically your not stable. And you seem to neglect the fact that you don't even bother to care what you say to people, and how it effects a person. That is wrong. Go get help because you need it.
If all of this is true then yes you were emotionally abusive. Maybe you didn't realize what you were doing but yes that was very abusive. Unfortunately, that's going to stay with her for a long time. I hope you learn from this in your next relationships. 😕
You were psychically abusive at extent (out of frustration as you said), because not only you thought of her to be shitty but also expressed that verbally, you called her used goods and nagged constantly about her just because she didn't matched your preference. But I don't understand why did you get into relationship with her if she didn't match your preference, I advice next time to save your own and your future girl's nerves by finding a virgin if virginity is a #1 preference to you, instead of pouring all dissapointment on your inperfect girlfriend.
So are you a virgin, because if not then you are a Hippocrit and all the women deserve better. Not only where you abusive, but you knew they weren't virgins. So why the hell get with them in the first place other then to be a dick to them? Because that's what u r, and abusive dick
Tbh I really don't know. I know I'd prefer my parter to be a virgin and I'd understand that frustration but at the same time, it maybe was a bit overboard to constantly go on about how she wasn't a virgin. I'd call that frustration not emotional abuse, but I could be wrong, I'm not sure
Most certainly, if this is true. I would think that you do NOT deserve another girlfriend while you have this attitude. "Normal frustration" is your problem. Get it sorted or you could end up being very lonely.
If she had have been a virgin, would you have taken it from her, and made her "damaged goods"? Would you have stayed with her for life? Would you have discarded her, so someone else has to put up with YOU being like the guy that actually took her virginity?
Wow dude, you're an asshole. You think it's right to treat girls like dirt. It's amazing that she would date you in the first place. You sound like a uptight Christian that only wants virgin girls. You know what, all girls should know that you're such an asshole to them. This way they will stay far away from you and date someone that respects them. Grow up and stopping being an asshole or stay lonely for rest of your life.