Am I abusive toward my girlfriend?

I recently broke up with my girlfriend and she is now my ex. I broke up and left her. After the breakup she told me i was emotionally abusive. I've never had a history of that.

Here is what I did:
1. I would regularly remind her she wasn't a virgin and not good enough for me.
2. I would constantly reject compliments she gave me regarding how good I look and how I'm better than her ex.
3. I would regularly tell her she should have waited for me.
4. I called her used and damaged goods.
5. I would reject physical affection she tried to give me.
6. I always thought shittily of her because she wasn't a virgin when we met.
7. I would always bring up her ex boyfriend every time i got mad at her.
8. I thought she had to emotionally pay for offering me her non virgin body.

Do you think i was being abusive to my then girlfriend? I thought in was acting out of normal frustration and not being abusive.

  • Yes
    100% (44)77% (17)92% (61)Vote
  • No
    0% (0)23% (5)8% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're a dipshit what the fuck is wring with you asshole?

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    • 3mo

      Wrong*

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    • 3mo

      I can't fuck you. You are underage. Kid

    • 3mo

      Sorry you piece of shit you're not a virgin, you're not good enough for me

What Girls Said 22

  • Yes. Yes you were. If you had such a problem with these issues you shouldn't have gotten together with her in the first place. You consistently put her down and made her feel bad about herself for no reason aside from you own views about her sexuality. If you wanted a virgin girlfriend you should have gotten one rather than treating this poor girl as terribly as you did.

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    • 3mo

      I could never get a virgin. Virgins always chose other guys over me. All i can get are non virgins. I've done this behavior to 3 non virgin girls already but that is all I can get.

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    • 3mo

      @dogbert444 thanks friend!

      Asker, yea sure you do. But honestly whether you're dating or not you should try to not be a shitty person. Just because you're a guy (who's also not a virgin apparently) gives you NOTHING and NO LEVERAGE whatsoever to shame someone for not being one.

      People in relationships respect and love each other. Neither of which you did for this girl.

    • 3mo

      @NatashaJ its better to be alone than to be with somebody you don't want. Agree?

  • You're an abusive shithead or a troll, either one.

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    • 3mo

      I guess abusive shithead. Maybe I will treat the next one better. I've already treated 3 non virgin girls this way.

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    • 3mo

      Lol dude just don't be a jerk your probably causing them emotional damage like just because they are not vigins doesn't mean they are no good, may be you just want a virgin and that's understandable.

    • 3mo

      @Shawn58 i have to make non virgins feel like shit. I need to take action and do something.

  • Okay in a way yes you was being emotionally abusive. And that was very very wrong. And I will explain how so by the list you provided to us:

    1. You don't need to remind her of something that she did regardless if she regretted it or not. That is not your job.
    2. Its okay to regret compliments but it was just wise to at least tell her thank you for them. Overall she is just voicing her opinion that she thinks highly of you. I don't compliments only if I sense or felt that they were fake.
    3. Look. I understand where your coming from with this. But this is just wrong. The reality is she didn't. So unless you were looking to marry her as a virgin, that doesn't give you the right to only think about yourself. At that point you shouldn't have dated her knowing this.
    4. That is very - very - VERY abusive. What person in their right mind say something like that, except an emotionally unstable and abusive person. You have problems, and need to go see a professional counselor. Because apparently you don't know how to treat a woman.

    5 - 8 Unbelievable. You definitely need to go seek counseling. You don't need a girlfriend and your behavior is like that. Not even a virgin girl wants to deal with you emotionally. If she ended up having sex with you, she would regret it in a heartbeat. That is abusive to the max. I don't know what made you think in such a manner, or what experiences in your life through media or in real life, but you got a problem. Psychologically your not stable. And you seem to neglect the fact that you don't even bother to care what you say to people, and how it effects a person. That is wrong. Go get help because you need it.

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  • If all of this is true then yes you were emotionally abusive. Maybe you didn't realize what you were doing but yes that was very abusive. Unfortunately, that's going to stay with her for a long time. I hope you learn from this in your next relationships. 😕

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    • 3mo

      Girls remember abusive behavior down the road?

    • 3mo

      Yes, without a doubt, she will remember this for a very long time.

    • 3mo

      I guess i left a scar on her.

  • Yes you're an abusive cunt and you don't deserve to be with anyone, ever.

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    • 3mo

      Cunt? That's a little extreme dont you think. Asshole would have been fine. Non virgins and hoes think they deserve to be with me. Why is that?

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    • 3mo

      Nope, bye.

    • 3mo

      Then this question will be my next post?

  • You knowingly and intentionally made her feel shitty about something she cannot change. Yeah, that's emotional abuse. She deserves better and I'm glad she's free of your bullshit now.

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    • 3mo

      Hopefully she remembers me for a long while.

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    • 3mo

      Well too bad for you.. a few years amd a few partners from now, she may not even remember your last name...

    • 3mo

      I hope she does

  • Mix between LMAO & SMH at those 3 blue "No" votes.

    - Trolls are everywhere on here today!

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    • 3mo

      I love the NO votes!

    • 3mo

      I know you're a troll and I don't have enough time to deal with you.

      - Next time. :* It's on.

    • 3mo

      Now is good a time as any! Bring it on now!

  • You were psychically abusive at extent (out of frustration as you said), because not only you thought of her to be shitty but also expressed that verbally, you called her used goods and nagged constantly about her just because she didn't matched your preference. But I don't understand why did you get into relationship with her if she didn't match your preference, I advice next time to save your own and your future girl's nerves by finding a virgin if virginity is a #1 preference to you, instead of pouring all dissapointment on your inperfect girlfriend.

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    • 3mo

      Imperfect non virgin girls are all I can get.

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    • 3mo

      If I'm an abuser then justice has been served.

    • 3mo

      @dogbert444 I don't deserve non virgin used good trash. I'm not into hoes.

  • So are you a virgin, because if not then you are a Hippocrit and all the women deserve better. Not only where you abusive, but you knew they weren't virgins. So why the hell get with them in the first place other then to be a dick to them? Because that's what u r, and abusive dick

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    • 3mo

      No I'm not a virgin but I have wanted to be with one and commit to one

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    • 3mo

      She was hurt by me and I feel justice has been served.

    • 3mo

      Yeah you're a dick then. Have fun being a single asshole

  • You'll be alone for the rest of your life unless you change that horrible attitude of yours.

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    • 3mo

      But if I'm with a non virgin I will be with somebody but not happy. I think is worse than being alone.

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    • 3mo

      I'm serious.

    • 3mo

      No you're not. You're trolling

  • Tbh I really don't know. I know I'd prefer my parter to be a virgin and I'd understand that frustration but at the same time, it maybe was a bit overboard to constantly go on about how she wasn't a virgin. I'd call that frustration not emotional abuse, but I could be wrong, I'm not sure

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  • Well you're a piece of shit

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  • Yes you are an abusive asswipe

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  • You shouldn't even have to ask..

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    • 3mo

      I had to ask. I don't have a track record of this.

    • 3mo

      Yeah but when you look at that list of all those things you've done to her, it should be apparent that you were being emotionally abusive

  • I feel like you should already know the answer. I am very surprised she didn't break up with you. She will be waaay better off without all of your negativity

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    • 3mo

      I wonder who is the next dumbshit guy to date her? She won't better off with the next dumb shit guy.

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    • 3mo

      I dont deserve the imperfect girl either. Goes both ways.

    • 3mo

      You're worse than imperfect. I truly feel bad for anyone who comes in contact with you.

  • No that's definitely abusive.

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  • Omg you're crazy!!

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    • 3mo

      Not crazy, just out for revenge. Justice is served by making her feel like shit.

  • Of course you were.. way to make her feel like crap

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    • 3mo

      Making her feel like crap a sweet justice for me!

  • yes if this is true then you were being verbally abusive 😞😞

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  • Short answer: Yes!

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  • Yep.

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  • Troll alert

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    • 3mo

      Underage alert. Dealing with an elementary kid. Back to the nursery for you.

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    • 3mo

      Either way your a child. Peachfuzz

    • 3mo

      I'm aware that I'm child. Thank you for reminding me captain obvious. Peachfuzz though?

What Guys Said 6

  • Most certainly, if this is true. I would think that you do NOT deserve another girlfriend while you have this attitude. "Normal frustration" is your problem. Get it sorted or you could end up being very lonely.

    If she had have been a virgin, would you have taken it from her, and made her "damaged goods"? Would you have stayed with her for life? Would you have discarded her, so someone else has to put up with YOU being like the guy that actually took her virginity?

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    • 3mo

      I would have committed long term if she was a virgin.

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    • 3mo

      I think she is so stupid that she will make the same mistake with the same ex boyfriend even with the knowledege she has now.

    • 3mo

      I know I have a bad rep now. I will just have to date strangers from now on.

  • Are you some damn troll or just such a narcissist that you can't see what an ass hole you were to her?

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  • Wow, what a dick. Yeah I'd definitely say you were emotionally abusive to her.

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  • Wow dude, you're an asshole. You think it's right to treat girls like dirt. It's amazing that she would date you in the first place. You sound like a uptight Christian that only wants virgin girls. You know what, all girls should know that you're such an asshole to them. This way they will stay far away from you and date someone that respects them. Grow up and stopping being an asshole or stay lonely for rest of your life.

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    • 3mo

      It's better to be alone than to be with someone not up to your standards. Agree? That's why I'm not afraid to be alone.

    • 3mo

      You will get your wish. No girls want a uptight Christian.

  • We really need better trolls on here. The current crop just doesn't try to make it believable anymore.

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  • Obvious troll is obvious

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    • 3mo

      That's why I said "if this is true".

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    • 3mo

      But there are shitty like the asker in the world I wouldn't be surprise if this is true and he sound crazy enough to do it.

    • 3mo

      @NatashaJ this is 100% true.

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