Communicating my standards before sex / He has trouble paying attention?

Hello, I recently started seeing a guy and I really like him. I think he really likes me too. He stays in touch with me, I always get a good morning, good night and lots of updates and questions as to what I am doing during the day. I like that. When we hang out together, he does ask me questions, but sometimes, I feel like he has a hard time paying attention to my answers and wants to jump in with more about himself. I'd give him a.5 out of 1 on seeming interested in what's going on with me, but I can see that he is putting in effort - he just seems a bit nervous and I think he wants me to like him. to the point, Should his seeming inability to pay attention to what's going on with me big a huge red flag, or should I give this some more time as things progress?
Also, I don't want to start sleeping together unless I know there is going to be exclusivity, it dosn't have to be a serious relationship, but I'd rather we were only sleeping with each other and not with other people as well.
- What is a good way to say this without coming across to abrasive or serious?


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Most Helpful Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a good question. I am not sure you will like the answer. I don't think you an really get a person like that to change. Some people are just naturally more wrapped up in their own world and would rather be heard than do the listening. Personally, that's a deal-breaker to me, as i am not interested in being in a relationship with someone who naturally isn't a great listener and doesn't return the favor. And on top of that the exclusivity problem, its a no-go for me.

    You're quite attractive and sound intelligent from your post. I think you can do and deserve better. Just my thoughts...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well it's a serious matter to you so I'm not sure why you don't want to sound serious. Let your intentions be known and make sure he understands them. No point in wasting time beating around the bush.

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What Girls Said 1

  • personally, I'd just phrase it in a question that's really straight up and blunt. Sometimes it's easier for the nervous types to answer honestly to a question they are too nervous to ask themselves. If it's important to you, than say it and just see where it lands you guys. Best of luck!

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