How important are common interests to you in dating?

How important is it for your date, bf/gf, or spouse to have common interests? Is it a deal breaker if they have no common interests at all.

For me, having common interests is pretty important. The girl doesn't have to be exactly like me but if we have absolutely nothing in common then there'd be nothing to talk about, at least after awhile.

Having said that, from my experience, while its good to be with someone who has common interests, it is also important to not associate your common interests with a person too much, because if it ends badly, you may not want to think of those interests because it reminds you of them.

I recently saw a girl who has a lot of things in common who is very attractive and great personality but she just revealed to me she just got out of a long term relationship a few months ago so I'm very cautious.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Common interest is pretty important, if the both have nothing in common then the relationship won't work. Hanging out would be boring for one or the other. .. my boyfriend and I love horror movies, we like metal music, love sushi.. hanging out at places like the mall.. etc.

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    • 3mo

      Yeah I agree, you don't have to be exactly alike but at least have some so there's things you can enjoy doing together. What kinda metal btw?

      This one girl I had a date a few weeks ago has a lot in common. She likes metal, horror, etc but she just got out of a 5 year relationship so I'm cautious.

      Sometimes it can be easy to let common interests and physical attraction + personality over shadow those situations.

What Girls Said 9

  • Not all that important to me if its sports or something along the lines. It boils down to value systems, belief's, morals, standards and view points. A perfect example for myself if I was to date is this:

    Value systems: I believe in the structural order of the family. The man in charge and head over the wife, the wife is head over the child, the child in obedience and honors the parents. Family is very important to me and it needs to be for him as well. Any kind of strife is not something I want to be around, especially since I grew up with it all my life and is still going through that with certain members already. I am a sick person who doesn't need all that stress. I rather stay to myself than continuously getting hurt.

    Belief's: I'm not a religious person nor do I believe in religion. I believe in God, read the bible, pray and go to church, as well as follow his teachings. But my relationship with God is first. I can get along with anybody who doesn't believe in God or another religion. As long as they are not trying to shove it down my throat I won't do it to them. If this person is interested in me, then he needs to understand my terms or he can leave. And no, some Christian men are no different. Many are counterfeits and use the Bible in a religious manner to bind a person and judge them unrighteously. I do not need a person who uses the Bible to justify themselves and to purposely hurt another person. Just because they don't believe in what you believe, they are still a human being.

    Morals/Views: Pretty much everything in the Bible. But overall I need a person who is respectful and honors their family and friends. Somebody who is similar to me. Now as far as politics, I can care less about it. I don't vote and never will.

    Standards: I hate smoking. I can never stand it or be around it. As a person with asthma, arthritis in the chest and chronic asthmatic symptoms, it is an immediate deal breaker. I don't drink, therefore drinking needs to be at a minimum, and not with somebody who likes to get drunk. If they do it is a deal breaker for me. I already live with a parent who drinks and that is bad enough. I don't believe in premarital sex, but I will not date a person for years who will not marry me either. Either marriage within 2 years of dating or I'll move on. If I date, its to seek a long term marriage partner that doesn't believe in divorce.

    Overall you learn to come to the middle ground, talk and learn to communicate.

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    • 3mo

      Morals are important too. It's just from my experience, if we have nothing in common and I mean absolutely nothing in common then the conversation would dry up and is feel like I'm trying too hard.

  • It's important to have a few common interests , but having very similar morals, values and personality traits as me is of utmost importance to me.

    Having similar interests will enable us to have things in common to talk about , but I love learning and trying new things so having a few different interests will help us to learn new things from each other. It'll be fun teaching each other new things too.

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  • Religion is very important.

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    • 3mo

      If you're not religious, it isn't.

    • 3mo

      Well I am

    • 3mo

      It's important to me to, I believe in God.. if he doesn't then that's a problem. I want my kids to know about God to. So our teachings beliefs would clash. Thankfully my boyfriend believes but sadly he's not to into God at the moment.

  • I'm not picky. I can meet another person from a whole new world but the best thing that will make us compatible is that the individual accepts you for who you are and tries to work with your flaws or habits and not go against you because you're not just like them.

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  • Super important, thats how most of my relationships started, with common interests

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  • I think having a few common interests is better than having none, but not all should be shared. Maybe it's a personal thing, but I like having a bit of alone time and having separate interests from my partner helps with that.

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    • 3mo

      I agree. I don't want a mirror image of myself, but if you don't have anything in common at all then it might be hard having conversations.

  • A common understanding is more important to me than common interests.

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    • 3mo

      What do you mean?

      I'm not saying common interests are be all, end all. Just from my experience, if there was no common interests and I mean literally none then conversations would dry up fast.

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    • 3mo

      "no understanding me as a person" = me having to constantly explain myself, like now :P

  • It's not important since dating is pointless

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  • Not really. Love is important. If you love someone you can hang in there.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If we have no common interest then yes it's a deal breaker and here is why. Without common interests all that's left are things that we will disagree to and almost always argue over. That doesn't make for a lasting relationship

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  • I want a person who is in the middle groun you know? Someone who has some similar interests but who is able to show me something new.

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    • 3mo

      Agreed. And that's how the person is. We got a lot in common but enough differences to explore

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