Why do virgins matter?

This may be an over-asked question, but why do some men seek virgins? I had 0 sexual activity before meeting my SO, and because of that he seemed very happy. I was surprised actually, because I thought a woman with no skill would be a turn off.

I was in a weird relationship before this one, and he got creepy about it. Treated me like a trophie, and seemed to be the only reason he wanted me. I left before anything happened, and it was a scary breakup.


2|0
2|15

Most Helpful Girl

  • Other than for religious reasons virginity is in fact very important. I have explained about this before as an opinion on two different MyTakes. But here is the reasons why it is very important:

    1: Virginity is YOU. It is a part of YOU. It is not just physical, it is everything of your entire being. What makes you up emotionally, sexually, mentally, psychologically and spiritually as well. It is very important. Because now your giving away part of yourself to a person that may or may not deserve you.
    2: You will never compare another sex partner to your spouse or a new sex partner. Men and women can sense when there is 'another', but it isn't always physically. The bond is tougher to break with two people who already saved themselves for each other, especially in marriage. Outside of it, becomes very risky. Because now if things don't work out or you never marry them, your bound to head to divorce.

    www.yahoo.com/.../...s-divorce-risk-144722762.html
    family-studies.org/.../
    socialpathology.blogspot.com.au/.../...t-post.html
    www.webmd.com/.../theres-benefits-in-delaying-sex-until-marriage

    Besides the STD/STI risk and pregnancy that is not wanted, there is a lot to consider based on the sexual choices and selections one make now. As it will effect your overall future. Wither or not your going to get married or have children, let alone maintain and stay in a marriage without divorce. But usually these days, if the guys isn't focused on the benefits of a nonsexual relationship, its more so for him to be her first so she'll always remember him [which is not good if you get married], and the fact that your tighter, so it will make the sexual encounter more pleasurable more so for him than you. But if the virgin likes the experience, he will stick around just for that.

    In the end make sure that you make your intentions very clear. Wither your looking for a sexual relationship or not. It is extremely important.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 15

  • Realistically in my opinion, it depends on the person in question as to why a girl being a virgin may matter to him or not. Some males prefer being with a virgin, because they care about the number of people a girl's been sexually active with and if a girl has been with a lot of people it is a turn off for him. On the other side if a girl is a virgin or hasn't been with a lot of people then it is just the opposite and it is a major turn on. Again, it just depends on the person and their philosophy when it comes to relationships and what they are and are NOT attracted to.

    You have those males who don't care either way also. You could be a virgin or not and the person wouldn't care either way and would still go out with you and want a serious relationship. You have those guys who like a more confident, assertive girl who's experienced and slept around. Then you also have those males who are less attracted to such confidence and they find it intimidating and therefore they are turned off and seek a different kind of girl for their individual personality.

    In your case, you've may have found a guy who was insecure about who he was, and just saw you as the trophy girl he could show off, and thankfully you ended it before it went to far, but now you're with someone who is very happy with the way you are and is turned on by it and doesn't shy about from you. Cherish what you've found and don't worry about your past experiences. Just follow you're heart and do what makes you happy the most. In the end that's all that matters; your own individual happiness.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Thankyou, I am very happy happy now. :)

    • 3mo

      That's delightful! Congratulations. Like I said, cherish what you've found and nurture it, and if you have any other questions or just want some extra advice, please feel free to reach out to me. My door is always open. :)

  • Sleeping with a virgin is a head trip for the man. "I'm the first one she's had in there" kind of thing. Some men think you will be extra tight because you've never had anything in there. Its a falacy. Women don't get bigger and bigger just because they have sex unless they are with a guy that's really huge a lot. If the guy is a virgin as well, then it's different. All you have to do is see what he likes and let him know what you want to try since you don't know what you like yet. Be open to try different things. You have to had thoughts about different parts of sex and what you think you will enjoy. You probally masturbate and that lets you know some things you'll enjoy. Most important, you make sure that things go the way you want. Not all men know what it's like for a woman her first time. Make him take his time with foreplay to really get you in the mood and tell him to go slow, especially if you haven't had a vibrator or dildo in you. Men fantisize about a virgin because they are in control. A man they really cares about you will take all the time needed to make you happy. He will not put his pleasure ahead of yours. If a guy won't allow these things, he's not worth giving yourself to. Make sure you don't do something you will regret later. Your first time is way too important to waste on a man that doesn't do the above. You have the rest of your life to have sex. You are quite young. Take care of you first and most of all, don't be in a hurry. I hope your first time is as special as it should be!

    0|0
    0|0
  • These days, sex is easy. To find a virgin is comparitively rare. That makes her very special. It definitely is not a turn off for the right guy. In fact, it can be a huge turn on. Makes that guy feel very special to have a very special lady. Just how I think about it. Others may disagree. Each to his/her own.

    1|2
    0|0
  • Men don't really like the thought of other men fucking their girlfriend. Most of us don't really care if you're a virgin or not, but better are virgin than one who has been around the block.

    Women don't really understand this cause they don't see it this way. They see non-virgin men as... men. They see it as status, as power. That's why you don't see women (except for religious ones) wanting virgin men, cause they consider them to still be boys.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Depends on who he had sex with? If it's a past relationship, ok.
      If it was a bunch of meaningless ONS and hookers, no thanks. Sleeping around isn't really something to be proud of. It shows the person isn't really relationship material.

      I don't think most non-promiscuous people with certain standards would want a former promiscuous bf/gf.

  • Guys that value virginity tend to think of women as property and lesser than men.

    Another motivation is that some guys who are insecure with themselves are afraid that if a girl has known anyone else, that he will be seen as lacking.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I don't seek virgins or non-virgins, so no it don't matter to me at ALL! Relationships just aren't for me anyway. Or I really can't see how it would work with my outlook of everything in this world.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sexually active people are confident and more open. Virgins are not open to certain ideas and may be insecure and over think stuff.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      This is actually a strange concept. "Virgins are not open to certain ideas..." So what you're saying is once they've lost their virginity, and gaining experience, they still won't be open to ideas? A virgin may well be more enthusiastic about (for example) anal sex that a well experienced lady that finds it abhorrent.

  • It doesn't really matter, but some times its kind of cool breaking new ground. And some people are crazy about it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 1. Virgins are 100% Std free
    2. The "game" hasn't been played on them. You know when a guy only whats sex and as soon as he gets it he dump her. Leaving the girl messed up.
    3. There is no competition in their minds to be compared to. You are there best lover period.
    4. Virginity can only be taken once.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      #1 is not always true. Now there is reports that a virgin can have an STD by unclean environments. Overall yes, you have everything else right.

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      @genericname85 1. True
      2. Not really. When mentioning the "the game" Im talking about this that happens continuously thoghout middle school and high school. Sometimes even college. After then the girl is left messed but without enough self esteem to break the cycle. When they get of that girl is seriously messed up.
      3. However while Im praticing I don't what her to think boyfriend 1 or 2 was so much better at sex then my current lover.
      4. While it may be irrational it is a big part of social culture.

    • 3mo

      1. there´s no debate here. a virgin is not 100% std free. that statement is just false. chances may be lower than non virgin but not 100%
      2. being promiscuous doesn´t mess one up. girls are not those helpless things that get broken buy guys that just want to fuck. it may happen in some cases but it´s not standard. in fact girls do like to fuck too and not everybody ends up in an abusive relationship.
      3. this is just your own insecurity speaking here. there isn´t neccessarily a normative ranking. people are just different and you can adapt and learn, so it doesn´t really matter.
      4. only for virgins it is a big part of culture. us non virgins don´t really give a shit about it.

  • Rhhhnormal guys dont care. You may want to examine your relationship. He may be with you cuz your a virgin. Just saying it has happened before.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm a virgin, but it's funny how some dudes desire virgins, but if she's an inexperienced virgin?

    How would they know how to satisfy their sexual desires!

    0|0
    0|0
  • they don´t. simple as that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because you're not a slut.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Her one and only? She hasn't banged a ton of random guys and may be more loyal.

    0|1
    1|0
  • I'm not buying this cooked up story. I feel sorry for the guy because of what you must have put him through

    0|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Of course there is more to the story - that was just one thing. He was depressed and insecure - his behaviour turned into manipulation and abuse, and after 11/2 years I needed to/deserved to break free from that cycle. 😔😌

    • 3mo

      Sure...

What Girls Said 1

  • Your partner was happy because virgin means nobody was inside you and he will be the only one.(or at least the first one). I would be excited too if my boyfriend was virgin and I'll be his first. lol Virginity is something a big deal especially to girls and for him to have your virginity, of course that excites him.

    0|2
    0|0
Loading...