Hi, so me and my boyfriend have been together for about 1 month and a bit but we have been talking for ages. In all honestly, he really helped me. He straightened me out right, is always supportive of me, never fails to make me laugh or smile. I am so in love with him that I can't compare him to anybody else. Things were going fine until on the 25th of August he asked for a break. I was really confused as to why he wanted a break considering things had been going fine. So I let him have his break so he could sort things out. Then on the 26th of August (the next day), he messaged me and was basically acting like a dick towards me. I asked him if something was wrong but he pushed me away and started saying rude things. I thought he was going through some things at home so I ignored his rude behaviour and dealt with it. Then he he kept saying things like 'The reason I'm pushing you away is because me staying with me is just gonna hurt you even more'. He said he wants to break up with me because he's scared he might do something stupid like cheat on me and he doesn't want to hurt me.
I told him, 'If you loved me enough, you shouldn't be worried about cheating'. He continued to tell me about how he's going to get drunk and he won't be able to control what's happening and he doesn't want to put me through that. Me, being stupid and in love, told him that accidents and mistakes do happen when you are drunk. I told him that I was willing to push my pride and ego aside for him and forgive him if he ever cheated because I loved him so much. And we are still young, we are still growing and learning from our mistakes.
That all happened yesterday. Now thinking about my situation, he was sort of being logical. I don't know what to do. Should I break up with him now and spare myself the heartache or wait it out. I want to wait it out because I have hope that he won't cheat and he's just overthinking this but all of my friends tell me to break up with him. What should I do?
Most Helpful Guy
1 month? Breakup is fine. If it had been 2 years or more, then that would be harder since more time and emotions had been invested into the relationship.
Give him space, and be on a break on the relationship. If he really decides that he would rather be loyal and have you he'd come back to you and not choose any other girl just so he can fuck around and just to "hook up" with them. But who knows? Maybe he's new and afraid of so early commitment when he rather fuck around and play and have fun and experiment first and that could be why he feel he may be overwhelmed with commitment at this time and isn't exactly ready for it yet.
Hell, he could have already cheated on you multiple times by now and you aren't even aware of it, thus why he said 'The reason I'm pushing you away is because me staying with me is just gonna hurt you even more', despite saying that "he's scared he might do something stupid like cheat on you and doesn't want to hurt you".
Walk away for now, 1 month is really short amount of time invested into a relationship, better to start over now and not take any chances later such as 5 or 6 years down the road and then you finally discover he hadn't been loyal at all to you and been hooking up here and there behind your back.1
Most Helpful Girl
He's not scared he will be out of control and eventually cheat, he simply planned to cheat and he knows he will at some point because he doesn't care very much for you. He just romanticized it all with the "I want to protect you" approach.
Just let it go.1