Girls, Telling a girl that you're thinking of her?

I have a girl that I've been seeing for about a month now. She frequently mentions in texts that she thinks about me and misses me. I want to tell her that I feel the same, which I have before, but I don't want to keep saying it, even though it's true, for fear that she will just think I'm playing games or just telling her what I think she wants to hear. In short, I just don't want to come across as disingenuous. Should I not say it so much, I mean even when she expresses it to me?


What Girls Said 2

  • Hi Dumbguy6819,

    I think a good rule of thumb is if she is saying she misses you and thinks about you, then if you are doing the same, tell her so. Telling her will give her reassurance and will generate more goodwill towards you.

    The only time I can think of that makes it bad if a man shares these thoughts is when it is from a man I am not interested in. And it makes it not only bad but a little scary when it comes from a guy that I have already told directly that I am not interested in him but he keeps sharing these thoughts with me.

    In your situation, I think her sharing it first means she would appreciate hearing the same from you. So if it is true for you, then share it. I do not recommend sharing it if it is not true.

    It may seem weird to you or may even sound a little disingenuous to your ears but to her ears it doesn't. We know that this is true since she says these things to you.

    General speaking, women like reassurances and compliments. In fact, I would say we need them on some level. If only that we need them to continue having those warm feelings for you since we know they are reciprocal. It makes us feel safe and protective and in turn, we shower you with more love and admiration.

    So in the grand scheme of things, even if it is the opposite of what you would normally do, if you like her, tell her. It is a good thing to do. :)

    Nice meeting ya'. Have a good night. :)

    • 1mo

      Thanks so much lizziepooh03. :)

      I most definitely mean what I say and I appreciate your input very much!

      This comment, I think captures my sentiments fairly well:
      "It may seem weird to you or may even sound a little disingenuous to your ears but to her ears it doesn't. We know that this is true since she says these things to you."

      That makes me feel more confident in freely expressing what I think. I want to be honest with my feelings, but the truth is, my feelings are very simple and I feel very much the same feelings as she says she feels for me.

      I do reciprocate often, but it makes me feel vulnerable in that I just want her to know I am being real and honest. She's never indicated anything different but she seems to appreciate it.

      Thank you so much for your reply. It really helps. :)

    • 1mo

      I am glad it helped.

      And speaking as one that hates to show vulnerability, I understand how hard it is to do. :p

      Good luck to ya'. I hope this relationship continues to grow and give you great joy. :)

  • hey there, personally one of my biggest guy let downs is when a guy stops doing acting saying all the lovely things he did in the beginning. if a guy treats a girl the way he did when he first met her, he will never lose her. good advice of course in return she should be the same, honestly with us females its so simple, even the littlest things count so much... only thing i can think of is to say it to her first off, not always in response to her, thats like a person saying i love you back when you say it... you should consider that she may be feeling why is he not expressing the same feelings i have and your holding back is creating doubt in her that is completely untrue. go for it xx

    • 1mo

      Thank you, I really appreciate the response! I do say things to her first as opposed to just saying "me too" although I've done that before as well. Lol

      I actually say it, "I miss you" "I'm thinking of you" quite a bit, first. It is equal, I think, to how much she says it. But I guess I worry that if I say it too much, it will get old. Lol

      There is so much bs info out there on relationships. It's really nice to have a forum like this. Where members of the opposite sex can ask/answer. Thanks so much for your answer. It makes me feel much better. :)